I want to tell something to my self today in this blog.I think that I know I am going to miss my Father everyday of my life until I don't leave the planet what if my Father visited me as Ghost and he wanted to hear what I have to say to him about my grandiose upbringing and all the love a proud Father can possibly bring for his son, Providing and protecting. what if today I had to answer his hard work and I can tell everything I have in my spirit for him.
Papa: well son tell me, what kind of a father I have been toyou all these years . I want to know that I didn't failed as Father raising you. You were the wish I was looking for and when I did found you, you were just not the son as me but my own Father whom I missed since I was six years old.When you were born on that auspicious day on Mahashivrathri, Monday, I knew it that almighty God has answered my prayers. I will always love you baby boy of mine!
Me: My dear Papa! as today, I have to tell you that you are the best thing after God that happened in my life. As a kid you were very responsible about my milk and food and the way you used to carry me in the market of Bhutan.I still remember those days. I remember that nobody had the right to even touch me because when it did You used to protect me as the Terminator. How great it was to have a Father who was so brave and unbiased towards my naughty attitude when I was a child. I feel great and responsible when I understand that I had your dreams come true to a great extent. I just wish I had brought you a farmhouse that you wanted so much. Even though you didn't had much, You never came home without sweets for us, I remember when you kept your promise and bought me the first Hero Ranger cycle in Mathura and that also through loan. I mean you bought that expensive cycle for me because with my own hard work I stood third in my class! Even those kids who stood first didn't had this kind of gift At that time nobody had that kind of cycle in all of the city. I was so happy Papa, so happy! I remember when I got so sick of typhoid and malaria, you took care of me very well. I was so depressed at that time and so weak physically but you brought me so many sweets, I loved God who gave me such a wonderful Father. I even loved the small pillow that I used to put my head on when I was so ill, I was eleven at that time. While you taught me various thigs like studies and mannerisms what I liked the most when taught me how respect females and yes they do deserve to be respected and honored. It made me chivalrous man at a very early age and makes me feel a real man. you told me to love books and I have read the new testament .
Well the comics that I brought with your money, my pocket money, I still have them and also the first comics you brought me .Tarzan. I still have the ruby that I had when you showed the world what a great Director you were when cast me as Isaac when I was 8. I was a star at such a early age. You did it for me . I am so proud of you. Best singer in the school because of you, A good bodybuilder of the genes I got from you and great athlete.
Papa I have to tell you that I have been suffering severe depression since seventeen and after nineteen years of depression I have to tell you that there is nothing so bad in this world worse than depression. when I was 19 . I lost my self when you lost your leg. I came in this operation theater and you said" I am sorry beta" and I had no words to say watching you amputated . though I shouldered the responsibilities as a young man. watching your calf that was amputated everyday made me even more responsible and I had to make you walk and yes my brave Papa you started to walk the day you put on the limb. I was so proud to see that you were walking without help and doctor told me that he hadn't seen anybody in his 8 years of service for the handicapped that a man would start walking un the first go. He was impressed by you and I was at ease a bit. You were the best and always will be.
Now that I have told you so much on how I feel about you, I have to tell you that I felt like an orphan when you died right in front of me. at that time I felt my first nervous breakdown. I wasn't able to control that earth shattering moment when I lost my Best friend. there isn't a day when I don't remember you Papa. I am still alone in this insane world and the only sane thing I have is the real memories of you. I will never let go the spirit,soul and man that you were and always will be. To tell you the truth. you are God to me. I remember when you told me that " I am just not your Father but your big brother and also your best friend". and yes Papa you are miraculously right cause Jesus Christ is the best thing happened in my life, He is my best friend and my elder brother and also my Father. you through God saved my soul. Thank you Father because I know what you have gone through to save me. And the best thing you have given me is the real God who wouldn't stop loving me ever . So to tell you the truth YOU are best Father a child can possibly have. I love you Papa and always will.
Papa: Now I am happy and content. Just before I go, can I ask you to leave sdmoking and do the best that you already are.see! my God is with you always son.?
My answer: well Papa I do remember that you told me on many occasions that you would be very angry if you saw me smoking and yesi will quit it as soon as possible and about you always wanted me to get married have children I will when I am something more.
bye Papa .keep coming in my dreams
bye beta . this is the latest gift you have given me.thanks!
(like you said to everyone) YOU ARE MOST WELCOME . LOVE YOU ALWAYS PAPA!
