As I lay in dark, gazing at the fluttering curtain, I saw rays of light filtering in through the slight breach between them. The dust motes became visible in the light and they danced a frenzied dance, swaying vigorously and changing their forms. As I kept on looking at them they took forms of words, the words which I didn’t want to see. I shut my eyes tightly wishing them to disappear. I slowly open my eyes after a little while and saw them disappearing only to return as an echo. I kept my hands on my ears to ward off the sounds. Oh! Go away, I don’t want to hear anything. How it rankles to hear someone asking you to prove yourself? I wanted to reply, I wanted to prove myself to the world but the Rebel in me Screamed NO....
The rebel in me started arguing, the Rebel had strong points, the debate continued. I wanted to prove that I am not the only imperfect mom who feels guilty on some counts. The rebel asked me, “How many moms do you know who are perfect ones?” I started counting but each one had some imperfection or the other. The Rebel told me that proclaiming to the world that you are guilty doesn’t absolve you of the guilt, instead take steps to rectify your faults and try to become a better mom. Okay I resigned to that and put forth my second point.
I have seen many people behaving differently in front of different people and the people blindly believe them. They are nice to others but as soon as the other people’s backs turn, the bad mouthing starts. I am myself all the time yet I am asked to prove that I all the time. The Rebel had a point there too, it says that the people project themselves as they want people to know them. If the people come to know of their reality, they would fall from the high pedestal just as the sand castles crumble as the wave swipes them away.
That was the perfect argument and I was in the need of my sleep again, so shut my eyes. I knew the fitfulness will go away and I will go into deep slumber. I know now that there is no need for me to prove anything to anyone or to the world for I know my own capabilities and what I am made of. To hell with those who want me prove my worth for I don’t owe anyone any explanations.
These are few of my observations both in virtual and real world. These are ramblings of a weirdo like me and this proves that I am a misfit into both the worlds. I feel that people who don’t know you extremely well, do injustice if they ask for any proofs of such kind, whether directly or indirectly. Do share your views, incidents such as these if any …This is a result of someone indirectly asking me to prove my worth …
