What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
The accountant knows he is boring.
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What do accountants do for fun?
Add the telephone book.
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Why did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours?
Because on the box it said Concentrate.
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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
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There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
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How can you tell when the Chief Accountant is getting soft?
When he actually listens to Marketing before saying No
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What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
Lost
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What's an auditor?
Someone who arrives after the battle and kills all the wounded.
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Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
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Why did he cross back?
So he could charge the client for travel expenses.
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How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb?
How many did it take last year?
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How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to check it was done within budget.
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How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
Hmmm........I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you
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Laws of Accounting
Trial balances don't
Bank reconciliations never do
Working Capital does not
Return on Investments never will
Also read Part 2 https://mouthshut.com/diary/cgjbntuoo/Accountant-Jokes2
