A big Thanks to OTEE who sent me the link to this wonderful article : https://nytimes.com/2010/03/30/opinion/30brooks.html Please go through this if you get the time. I am writing some of the random thoughts that came to my mind after reading it…….
We all want to be happy in life. Yet how many people in the world can claim to be truly happy? I think nobody can claim that because life is a journey full of problems – we fight them and win, or we fight them and lose – either way life goes on throwing these ‘problems’ at us now and then.
The general impression is that those with better income are better equipped to deal with the problems in their lives. It is true to an extent – money does make life easier. I read a quote recently, “Money can’t buy happiness but somehow it is more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle”. Well, can’t argue with that! Having money saves us from a lot of problems. The poor are vulnerable to all kinds of difficulties, humiliations, oppression, even diseases. Whenever a calamity strikes, the poor are the ones most affected. So the importance of money can never be overlooked. Though it is also true that all the money in the world can’t make up for the lack of loved ones. A loving family can cushion the biggest setbacks of our lives. But in the absence of loved ones or true friends, the biggest personal triumphs seem useless.
So do we just acquire a great emotional support system and lots of money to be happy? Well it is easier said than done! A support system actually means a lot more than immediate family and a few close friends. The society we live in, the people we work with, the kind of work we do – these are important factors too for our emotional well being. Let me share an incident with you –
Recently my ex-boss called me to help him find a good accommodation in Noida. I got him in touch with a property dealer who got him the kind of house he was looking for. A few days back his wife called me to share a little story – she had gone to her hometown for a few days, and during her absence their next door neighbours used to send breakfast for my ex-boss everyday. Nobody has asked them to do so but they still did it on their own since they knew that his wife wasn’t there to take care of him. “How considerate of them!” she gushed, “Never met such thoughtful people in Delhi!”
I had to agree. Thoughtfulness is so rare these days – especially in big cities. There is a lot of fake politeness going around, but genuine thoughtfulness is very very rare. So is getting good neighbours, mainly because most of the time we are not even aware who our neighbours are. This is another big-city menace. In small towns and villages there is a lot more social interaction resulting in high social security. The problem is that the more affluent one gets, the more isolated the neigbourhood becomes – those living in chawls have a much higher sense of social security than those living in upmarket flats, and those in flats have a higher sense of social security than those living in independent bungalows, and so on.
I have lived most of my early childhood in small towns and used to feel a kind of one-ness amongst the people there which went away when we moved to Delhi for good. Whenever I go to my native village, I feel a kind of emotional security with my relatives there that I don’t feel with my big city relatives. I am not saying that small town people are good and big city people are bad. It’s just that this little thing called ‘thoughtfulness’ is found in much smaller measure in big cities. But then I read a news item about some girl being murdered in some village for marrying a boy outside her caste and I thank my stars I wasn’t born there!
So we never get the perfect relatives, the perfect career/income and the perfect environment to live or work in. We just have to make the best of what we have. At the end of the day, it is about achieving the right balance…….ummm..…maybe being a little more thoughtful will help.
This post is dedicated to Umeshji. I called him last week to get some information about office spaces in Bangalore (my company is planning to open a new office there). I only expected him to get me a few contact numbers, but he actually went to check out the offices himself! He not only got me good price quotes but also did a great comparative analysis on the phone with me. I am deeply touched by his kindness. Thanks Umeshji, you are a rockstar! :)
