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And what shall I call thee ...
Apr 20, 2003 04:39 PM 1625 Views
(Updated May 26, 2003 01:52 PM)

This review is on the whackiest review titlesI have come across at MS. I have read about 500 reviews - I am deliberately leaving this one open so that I could add on as I read more . Contenders, please send in your entries.


Confucius say'Well begun task is half done'. A good title - one that captures the most eyeballs, is half the task of writing a good review. Here are some that attracted my attention and led me to read their contents .


And so, in no particular order:


The dead smell yummy by Spookaay on Rajinder da Dhaba


https://mouthshut.com/readreview/26162-1.html


If you were to write a review on an eating place, would you mention'The dead' in the same breath? Spooks does and justifies it too. The review itself is full of the standard Spooks humour - analogies like this one:'Dhabas are as poignantly Indian as the cud chewing cow, the awesome Amma & Mamta road show and the Leg- Glance in cricket'. The reference to'The dead' in this case is to the cemetery adjoining the Dhaba, and not the dead chickens that Rajinder Paaji converts into yummy dishes.


And Spooks, if you are still trying to better this one, cease and desist. We will settle for a serious review on Brisbane.


I want to buy new shoes by ThumbInMouth on ICICI bank


https://mouthshut.com/readreview/19509-1.html


What do shoes have to do with ICICI bank, you may well ask? I did, and hence read the review. This heartfelt review, written after a couple of visits to a particular branch of ICICI Bank in Mumbai, expresses succinctly TiM's anguish on encountering indifferent service at the Bank. At the end of the review, he explains why he is planning to buy Size 7 shoes although his size is 9. Is the reference to shoes also a comment on the bank's'One size should fit all' policy?  This, incidentally, was TiM's first review on Mouthshut.


Acting Lizards by Madlalya on Five Worst Actresses of Hindi Movies


https://mouthshut.com/readreview/34061-1.html


On a topic that seems to draw out the best(or is it the worst) from MSians, this topic also has spawned the whackiest of titles. Like this one from Maddy, who does not explain the usage of the word'Lizard', but then, it does seem appropriate, when you read the review.  You may agree or disagree with Maddy Bhai's choices, but there is no disputing the fact here is one of Mouthshut's most prolific writers, who can write, with authority, on a variety of topics from Amul Butter to Children's movies to his favourite topic - Music.


Screaming Flaming Christmas trees by Premjit on Five Worst Actresses of Hindi Movies


https://mouthshut.com/readreview/26666-1.html


See, same topic. And when it comes to proving what Confucius said, Premjit takes the cake(in fact, the bakery). So many of his reviews take off on a flying start(like Sachin and Sehwag in full flowing form) and I am sure he spends a lot of time in choosing the appropriate title for the review. This one is particularly inspired and expresses the strong feelings that Prem would have harboured at the time of writing the review. Screaming Flaming Christmas trees!


Care for some Quick, Hot Sx by Premjit on Tarla Dalal *


https://mouthshut.com/readreview/36038-1.html


He who seeks to catch a few extra eyeballs, please consult Premjit. This one, which has now been changed to a tame'Care for some Quick, Hot Food' after it served its purpose(!), was a low-down, mean trick played on MSians. And Prem, I am never going to forgive you for - changing the title to the inane one that is up on MS now.:-)


Should have inspired a few others to try the same trick, but surprisingly did not.


If Tarla Dalal had seen the original title, I am sure she would have come up with an extra spicy one for you, Pal.


Crouching Antara, Hidden Vivek by Premjit on Road


https://mouthshut.com/readreview/26821-1.html


Didn’t I say Premjit was the Master of the Quick Draw? Now, after a title like that, wouldn't you read the review? Amazing that what he recollected'top of the mind' about the movie was a Crouching Antara .


To stop chain, pull train by Fatcat on Zanjeer


https://mouthshut.com/readreview/27953-1.html


Moti Billi's(this name is better than the original English one) first review, but what a cracker. 78 reviews written, all Highly Recommended. On a variety of topics from Priya Pickles to Tipping advice to the latest movies.  Even though this was his first review, his train of thought was a chain with no weak links. Oh yes, the movie did star an angry young man called Amitabh - a real show stopper. There you are . Stop, Chain and Train - To stop chain, pull train.:-)


Added on 29/4/2003


Caught at long on by Crazyplaywright on Reliance India Mobile ‘Sehwag ki Ma’ commercial


https://mouthshut.com/readreview/36814-1.html


Another inspirational topic bringing out the vitriol in MSians who have laid it on thick and ripped the ad to pieces. Moid, here, is referring to the fact that this ad falls way short of making the desired impact. And the explanation for the title comes in the last line where he says …


“Dear Sehwag, you usually hit a lot of sixes, but this time, you were caught at long on.”


Maa, Main aa raha hun Maa! by Ganeshb on Reliance India Mobile ‘Sehwag ki Ma’ commercial


https://mouthshut.com/readreview/36935-1.html


If you have seen the ad, you would know why this title is howlarious. And the ‘projective’ review lives upto the expectations created by the title. One wonders what the scene would have been if Sehwag had indeed spoken these lines before the last ball of the one-day match where he is expected to score maximum, and then left the field …


The modification of the dialogues from the movie “Deewar” to fit in a Reliance Mobile in the Ma context, will have readers(who are familiar with the movie) splitting their sides, laughing.


Added on 12/5/2003


Oh flash me LG-Man! by kk8877 on LG CDMA ‘Expression Completed’ commercial


https://mouthshut.com/readreview/37453-1.html


Putting himself in the place of the female model in the ad, Karthik takes us through the ad, subtly ripping it apart in the process, until the climax(!) And what a climax, or should I say anti-climax! The title line is hilarious from the context of the scenario imagined by the reviewer.


Added on 26/5/2003


B for Balderdash by rjois on Bannerghatta National Park


https://mouthshut.com/readreview/38451-1.html


Rama Bemoans the decision of her family members to visit the much Bandied about Bannerghatta National Park. Also, decides to prove to all of us that the English language(and the Hindi one too) has a Bounty of BeWILDering words.


Be warned!


Watch this space .


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