Now it indeed is difficult to say uncomplimentary things about women and especially good looking ones. Here’s but a frank opinion on the manner in which our old and new screaming christmas trees essayed most of their roles.
Esha Deol
Omigoshhh! Where do the Deol family, Hema Malini and her relatives collectively hide their faces these days?
I saw her first movie with Aftab (I should have been warned) and Kya Dil ne Kaha and was positively shocked beyond belief. Newcomers are so accomplished these days but what’s with this girl? She needs to do some serious re-assessment of herself in all departments pretty soon.
Asha Parekh
Think Asha Parekh, think this routine. An orphan girl brought up by a rich uncle whom she insisted on calling chuhchuhjeeeeee “Oh chuhchuhjeeeeee, main Kashmir jaa rahi hoon saheliyon ke saath.”
In Kashmir she would invariably bump into a guitar strumming hero(Shammi/Joy/Biswajeet)and greet him with a “Youuuuuuuuu……”
Have a tiff with him and accusingly say, “Ae Mister! Maalum hota hai janaab ko ladkiyon se bolne ki tuhmeez nahi.”
After a few reels you could catch her saying
“Oh Vijjjeyyy, tum kitne ache ho”
All rendered in a dripping syrupy sweet, teeth clenched, giddy bimbo style in her parrot-like voice. Loud makeup, detestable mannerisms and unsurpassable artifice in emoting marked Ms. Parekh’s tenure as a bad actress (until maybe Main Tulsi Tere Angan Ki).
Nanda, Saira Banu were others from this school of acting.
Jayaprada
This woman was boredom personified. Her eternal sabhya bhartiya naaree routine was so behenji-type that you almost felt embarrassed and turned your eyes away automatically each time her cleavage showed accidentally. At times she tried her hand at being a hot glamour-puss (Sharabi and some assorted Padmalaya films)…no comments.
Other eternal behenjis, Bhagyashree, Ayesha Julka.
Raakhee
All right she might have been a good actress in her prime, but look at what she is reduced to these days. Mother’s roles in which she appears punch drunk. Ranting in an atrocious Bangla accent in movies like Karan Arjun (“Mere Kaaran Aarjoon jarooor aayenge. Jomeen ki chhatee phaadkar aayenge”), Ram Lakhan (“Roook jaa Bheeshombhorr! Raam Lokhan, mooj boodiya ke hothiyaar hain, eeense durr rehna.”), Baazigar (“Main tere toookde toookde korr doongee”)
Udee baba, Maa homay moff korr do.
Other insufferable women in this category Rima Lagoo and of course Nirupa Roy (Heebers jeebers!! Hounding horrors!!!)
Sharmila Tagore
My top worst! I don’t care a fig about her being considered a good actress. Those days maybe the girls didn’t expose, but look at the sheer vulgarity our lady conveyed. Watch her sipping a Coke from the bottle in An Evening in Paris. In her seemingly innocent songs like 'Gunguna rahein hain bhanvre from Aradhana note her dirty gestures, moves, and lewd eye contact with the camera. She was one actress who could behave classless even when fully dressed.
Others in the cheap floozie category, Mamta Kulkarani, Varsha Usgaonkar
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While that completes my top five, there are other stray examples of bad actresses
Babita: Abominable acting aside, this woman was so vacant and air-headed it was unbelievable. This is where Kareena and formerly Karisma inherited their faults from.
Riya Sen & Kim Sharma: should dub for Daisy Duck and Minnie Mouse respectively on Cartoon Network.
Rinkie Khanna, Sonam, Amrita Arora, this list can be endless.
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Besides these, there are some who narrowly escape the above list due to various reasons
Manisha Koirala
It’s not that I dislike her or something and yes she has done some damn good work (most notably Khamoshi), but this is one girl that can make me hold my sides in helpless laughter. I remember when I was seeing Guddu (Yes, I like to discuss my sins) Gupt, Hindustani, Jaani Dushman, Saudagar, I couldn’t stop laughing at her screaming her lungs out in the name of emoting, twitchy facial contortions, asinine dancing, unstructured body fitted in uncomplimentary clothes.
She is the proverbial 'when she’s good she’s very good, but when she’s bad……….' Anyway, I always look forward to Manisha clown away in any forthcoming movie. The good part is she does it all very seriously not realizing the mirth she is spreading around.
Kareena Kapoor
As long as Kareena is scantily clad or rather undressed, all is forgiven. The moment she wears complete clothing, I’d rather watch Shobha Khote.
Amisha Patel, Bipasha HOT Basu, Shilpa Legs Shetty all come in this category. A clear message to them: Wear less and we’ll watch you more. Not Otherwise.
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Now a special mention of this last one, she is so drop-dead good looking that I just didn’t have the heart to put her in the main list, nevertheless a bad actress is a bad actress.
Aishwarya Rai
Overrated and overhyped. I was appalled at Aur Pyaar Ho Gaya, hysterical at Jeans, given up hopes by the time I saw Aa Ab Laut Chalien. Then came Taal, Josh, Mohabatein where she consistently played her plastic cat routine. In Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s movies she is barely OK, and does not deserve any acting allocades(she deserves them for looks but certainly not acting)
If in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, Devdas she is considered a good actress, then maybe these days standards and expectations in good acting have plummeted considerably.
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P.S.: If anyone couldn’t fathom Raakhee’s bangla accented dialogues reproduced above, please M2M me, I’ll send a translation in normal, unaccented Hindi.
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