After a week of racking my brains, scanning my limited supply of grey cells and pulling at my hair (there is hardly anything left on my scalp now!) I am lost like never before. With all these strong ladies on the MS ground knowing their mind so well, my two cents worth is - well, let’s see! I read the essay by Virginia woolf as suggested by OTEE and instantly identified with it. To me it made sense even today after a century since it was written. But according to me, this is not really an issue of black or white, there are many different shades of grey. Besides, on different levels the essay contains elements of some of the best unsolved mysteries of mankind (the essence of being a woman, the gender war, feminism to name a few). But first things first.
Assumptions –
You have read the article here https://s.spachman.tripod.com/Woolf/professions.htm which started the debate last century.
You have read another write up here which restarted the argument last week.
You understand that the thought process below is a direct derivation of the essay and the author (yours truly) has tried her best to remain focused which incidentally was not the easiest of tasks.
Relevance in this generation -
So have I killed the angel in the house? You bet I have.
If the angel is telling me to use only my charm to succeed in life, be ‘soothing’, ‘soft’ and ‘pure’, that my whole reason of being is to soothe and nurture, that I never have to have ‘a mind or a wish of my own’, but should ‘prefer to sympathize always with the minds and wishes of others’, then of course I have killed her. I think today, this angel has come to be somewhat weaker since the Victorian era, but yes, there are other phantoms equally or more strong. In fact I keep killing them every now and then. And there is the fear of them being resurrected at the slightest pretext, what VW calls the bigger difficulty of killing the ‘fictional phantoms than the real ones’. When a woman wants to have a career of her own, whatever that may be, she always has to put something extra. She is never really out of her house fully. (I know there are women who can do great justice to all their roles, but come on, they are not average. They are special people. We have had our share of Kalpana Chawlas, Kiran bedis and Jhumpa lahiris and they hardly had to draw resources from the ‘charm’ account to succeed in life) She has to juggle between varied roles - a happy family maker, a good professional and so many more. True, it’s always a choice for a woman as to how she wants to lead her life and following a familiar path is always easier than finding a new one. And those of us who try to find our own ways in however small scale, for them, oh yes! there are lots of phantoms going around left right and centre. Let me cite an example. It’s a perfectly nice Sunday morning. I want to work on this write up. I switch on my computer, open the draft, write 2 sentences. My ears are with the rest of the family. Has everybody had their breakfast? Yes. Back to the essay. 5 more sentences, is the clothes done in the machine? Time to dry them. And it goes on. Why can I not forget everything else that’s going on around in the house and concentrate on my work (or something which is important to me)? And I thought I have killed some angels in the house!
So you see, I’ve killed them. But they are far from gone. Good old VW, had I not read this essay of hers I would think I am the only one trying to snap at these hidden creatures every now and then!!!
Continued 3 times in comments!!! (Scary or what!!)
