Before the post vacation blues hit me hard, this is a note to myself with reflections from this trip. A note of gratitude to the friend who pushed me to pick up pen and paper (or the keyboard in this case!)
This was meant to be an emotional journey - be it for settling L into her first home away from me, meeting old friends after years or going back to the place where my new identity was born - I knew this trip would not be the usual roadtrip. What I didn’t expect was the depth and intensity of these events and re-connections made.
Settling L in Maastricht was a first experience of its kind. In between bittersweet moments of knowing that she is ready yet she will struggle and fall, deep inside I know my life will be different from the day she leaves. Letting your kid out into the world is hard and soon she will be out there fighting her own battles. And hard as I try, I will not always be there to lend her a hand. But it has to happen. Thats how life works. To give her some perspective, thats why, I think it was incredible to combine this trip with a visit to her birthplace - the homes and parks, the people, the memories. Even though she did not remember her time here before 15 years, we were fortunate enough to have multiple friends who took her very lovingly on a trip down memory lane. And she took it all in; now Frieburg is etched in her heart like no other place. Probably it was only fitting that she begins her own journey by combining it with one where her journey began.
Meeting B and L in Utrecht was a calm entry into Netherlands. They will be the new family for L and having them close to the Uni is such a comforting feeling. The no frill and solid support is what has kept this friendship intact over the years and pure gratitude for such people in life. Would love to go back to their loving home again.
Next stop was Koln to meet P and S. Friends for decades, these are people who have played subtle roles in making us who we are today. Looking at P’s art studio was so inspiring and will cherish the late night chat for a long time to come. They were generous to share their personal space with us for an evening and it was such a joy envisioning the journey they have made over the years. That’s the best bit about older friendships - you don’t have to fill them in about your choices, your journey - you just begin where you left off, the understanding is just there. Was thinking with a tinge of irony - the super talented artist that P is, she still struggles in demanding what she deserves for her art. Hope we find a way together to give that art a stage.
Then it was time for Freiburg. If a place is called home when you’re taken into the hearts and homes of friends you left behind 15 years back, like no time has passed, I will call it a true blue home! P and C were the first to meet us and we were done with updates in our lives both good and bad in 10 minutes! They took us into the house where our life away from the comfort zone began 22 years back. Kirchzarten remains the MOST beautiful place I have ever lived in and this time the forest, the tiny streams, the rain, the fog and the sunrise over the mountains made me realize what I had fallen in love with a lifetime back. I came there at quite an impressionable phase, life was open and full of possibilities - I allowed myself the belongingness. The Sound garden at Talvogtei reinforced the magic of that old love. Now I understand why I could not recreate the magic of Priceless which was set in one of these mountains. If I feel the urge to write, maybe I need to go there to unblock myself.
Then it was time to meet C at her new home. What she calls apartment felt like a tiny piece of heaven with a view of the dense Black Forest thick with a late afternoon fog and the stream right under her balcony. Every tiny item in that space belongs there (often created) with a purpose. It had such a tranquil calm about it - alone yet happy and complete. A Gartnerin by heart, she infuses life into seeds, plants, soil - and the piece of land that she calls her happy place is a reflection of her - be it the colors of her choice of flowers or arrangements for annual and succulent plants, the grape vine as a shade to the garden - everything has her signature in every inch. Such a place of joy. Meeting Oma and Opa was as natural as ever. At 89 and 90, they were able to recollect our time together with them all the way back in 2002 - feel so humbled!
Next it was A and D - they created a customized tour of Freiburg for the girls (and us!) and their spontaneous happy go lucky attitude was so contagious! They emphasized with a lot of love that L will always be a Freiburger by virtue of being born there and always have a place in their home if she ever decides to visit the place by herself. Such is the generousity of old friends.
Meeting N and S with family in Kirchzarten/Titisee was another of those refreshing coincidences. Miss having N in Stockholm but she is on a journey she was meant to be on, truly happy for her.
Even the parting ways from Kirzarten, Freiburg, the Black Forest was beautiful. There was a light rain and the clouds that came down on to the hills and forest created this dreamlike scene. The AI powered GPS decided to deviate us into the mountain roads giving us the opportunity to revel the full glory of the Black Forest for 45 minutes before hitting the autobahn.
Back in Sweden, meeting S and A at Helgingborg was short and special - part of the extended family, this was the first time we met properly but it was an instant bond. She is strong and capable, an inspiring mother, hope she gives herself enough credit for that.
Hope for the future, reliving beautiful memories from the past, places and people - that’s what the trip has been all about. Feel so fortunate - all these days, just let the heart lead the way. And each time, ended up with a big smile. And now am ready for the grind. Bring it on!
A short note to self - focus on being happy. On releasing the hurt and not letting it build. Truly work at it. To spend more time in nature. Take time for things that matter even if it’s the simple act of making food. Respecting the right habits. Be grateful. Avoid negativity in everything - work, relationships, habits.
