I return with a heavy heart. Heavy here has a different connotation altogether which as you read on you shall grasp.
For quite sometime I was away from MS. There always comes a time in life when you need to brood "a little" on your follies, on your eagerness to achieve something in life and on your desperation when your aspirations seem to sulk in the absence of glory. In the dictionary of the more sophisticated it is known as introspection. In the lexicon of the lesser mortals it is known as melancholic musings. As should be the case, in any irrational mode, one is bereft of what is called even the most commonplace logic and analytical abilities. I was no exception. I visited and revisited my grey areas (much away from the cerebrum) - my doubt ridden zones, my diffident manouevres, my apathetic engineerings which were capable of transforming even the most dazzling debuts into despicable debacles and at last after much dust-seiving, I shake myself up from my depressive desperations and decide to haul myself up and revert back to normalcy.
So begins my daily routine of trudging along the already much trodden path - Residence-Metro-Office-Metro-Residence. After a week of drab, dreary lifestyle I feel claustrophobic. I need fresh air which is sadly in scarcity in the NCR. So, I create my own oxygen to rejuvenate myself. I click on the internet explorer and type out http://www.mouthshut.com, reach my timeline and what do I find? A Featured Diary status to one of my long forgotten DPs and more than that my unfailing MS "virtual" friends in hordes greeting me and wishing me the best though it has been aeons I have interacted and exchanged views with them.
A world which is an inseparable part of my being( I realize now) and which I shunned for a while in order to clutch perhaps the moon, was still waiting there for the return of the prodigal. Misty-eyed I tap on my keyboard and type out my return thanks which is not enough word to express what I feel deep down -- the immense satisfaction and security of a shelter and support which stand apart like the Rock of Gibraltar for me to just grab and get going.
Thanks MS and all my virtual friends for being there for me! How I detest this term "virtual". Isn't there a better coinage than this which can symbolize something eternal, endless and all encompassing like this Universe perhaps for detractors like me to fall back upon after a stint with fiasco!!!!
