Is endurance a virtue or a vice? A question I have been struggling with for quite some time now, has taxed my rationale to a great extent. I belong to that segment of society where values are deemed invaluable. "Je shoi shei roi", my elders have time and again reiterated the adage which literally translated means those who endure shall survive. Survival, in larger perspective, is not merely staying alive or adapting to change. Its compass transcends the boundaries of physical existence. Ideally, adversities should strengthen us mentally. A survivor, in the final analysis, should evolve into a higher being emotionally, intellectually as well as spiritually.
There are various ways of overcoming the odds in life. You can either be the bull who charges head on at the sight of red or be the matador dodging and parrying till you succeed to emerge victorious. Either way, you challenge fate to the optimum. A raging bull or a defensive matador, both are extremities of the opposite order, yet treading on treacherous grounds, gambling with uncertainty and scorning God in unison. A cautious mind may contempt adventure as a series of foolish attempts to outwit danger. But does a tight rope walk on a string of compromises be deemed a more clever option? For that matter, does endurance silently reproach you of indulging in self-delusion?
I know the answer cannot be a simple yes or no. Survival is a technique best employed in accordance to an individual's constitution. There are door-mats who will let the bullies run over them with ease. There are rebels who will rage wars, on the blink of an eyelid, at the slightest apprehension of a trespass in their private domain. But life is fraught with dilemmas for those who are neither door-mats nor rebels. These are the thinkers who judge the minutest pros and cons before lifting a toe. These are the negotiators who endure because they think that is the best possible strategy in a given circumstance, taking into consideration all internal and external stimuli. These are the procrastinators who check and balance their acts on mental conviction. These are the analyzers who endure not because they are by nature acquiescent but because they perceive greater disadvantage in the offing if they don't.
"We endure because we don't have money or muscle power", clucks my neighbour who has been after the MCD officials for months to get the overflowing manholes cleaned at regular intervals. Ms Sharma, my colleague, has often lamented about her sister's failed marriage, "She was subjected to physical torture for years before she decided to quit and come back home." "Why didn't she report the matter to the Police or the Women's Cell?" "Oh! She was afraid. The children were small and she did not have the requisite finance to support them." Kanika decided not to get married ever, even though there was no dearth of suitors. In a moment of weakness, she had confided that it was her scarred childhood which prompted her to take such a decision. "One of the close relations." She had sobbed uncontrollably. Vanita, my friend, chucked her job because Mr. Ramabharan, her pot-bellied boss, wanted her to'entertain' his guests after office hours. Social oppression, sexual harassment, child abuse, domestic violence, poor governance are burning issues which call for political as well as collective will for effective resolution.
But my concern veers towards those little deprivations and dichotomies of life which we casually term as'adjustments', in want of a better nomenclature, to make our lives livable. These have never been the focal point of stormy Parliamentary debates. These have not been accorded flowery eulogies in literary tomes. These do not find mention in the blood-boiling speeches of king or Queen makers. But these are like those perennial itches which embarrass as well as at time irritate us constantly. My six year old maid has a very quiet way of refusing assigned work. She either pretends not to remember or promises to do it later. She is the best judge of the time she wants to pay a visit to my household. I keep reminding her that her afternoons have now strolled into evenings. She maintains a stubborn silence on such crucial issues. Her USP - Integrity and Patience. So I endure her disobedience in silence because replacing her may endanger the safety of my house.
My driver has a quick silver temper. I am told all drivers have their own idiosyncrasies. The young boy throws tantrum at the drop of a hat. Yet he is excellent in exigency for which I am ready to give him brownie points and bear with his eccentricities with a matronly smile.
My boss is a workaholic and expects equal amount of devotion from his subordinates. So, I have no other option but to accept the stretched work schedule. He has stood by me on trying occasions which prevents me from rebelling. Since Organizations do not let you choose a boss, I grit my teeth and endure the extended time-table, with a forgiving sigh.
There are thousand other instances which are illustrative of such compromises that we indulge in, in the absence of a better alternative. However, there is that undeniable friction when mind and heart graze past each other. Is it lack of courage? Or is it the comfort factor which does not let us think or act out of the box? Or is it fear of change and the accompanying uncertainties that prevent us from exploring newer avenues? Whatever be the reason, the fact remains that we have all become a patient lot persevering hard to maintain status-quo even though at times it may or may not be desirable to do so. Perhaps, it is time we rage on like the mad bull instead of scampering hither and thither like the dodgy matador? Again, there is no sovereign remedy for the maladies of life. A compromise for me may be perceived as prudence by some.
So, we come straight back to the pavilion. Are we being over-optimistic with our easy-going attitude? Can such little compromises pave the way for a hassle-free life? Or are we playing into the hands of those we depend upon by letting them have their own way in matters where we ourselves should be the deciding factor? Are we really being virtuous by enduring or pampering a vice just because we lack the will to oppose? If its the latter, there is urgency for corrective measures. And if its the former, the question is how much do we endure and how long?
Food for Thought.
