“Will I ever be the same again” She looks at me- and suddenly I am dumbfounded. What do I tell her-No, Yes, Maybe, should I console her or just tell her that this how fate is – a bit juxtaposed and bordering nearly to Comical. That Comedy- which starts appearing like a Tragedy after a while. By this time she is nearing hysteria. The worse about trying to be a Miss-Know-It-All is that actually they are many things one doesn’t know. You have medications for scratched knees, injuries which are very much there, sprains which can be spotted but how does one heal a scratched heart, an injured self-confidence, a sprained luck. Nevertheless I try to act professional and all in control of the situation.
As the Routine goes and I jot down the queries
When did you speak to him last?
Umm cant recollect maybe 5 no 6 years back
So did you tell him?
Yeah kinda, no, actually yes*…well…. I loose her again
Okay forget that? Does he take you seriously?
I am not sure, I think I am not upto his mark- he’s a celebrity, we are opposites, he’s moved on but yeah he did speak to me…well actually I just wrote to him, never did speak, I even don’t have his phone number*….Hell- I feel like shaking her up!!
I force myself with a tirade- though mentally I feel like hugging her, and before I can suggest her something
She muses- What should I do Aarini if I am not good looking enough? Is it my fault?
And I loose my composure there-
These unnamed faces which surround me, sometimes they write to me, sometimes they just call me at any hour( I have kept it that way- to be approachable at all hours), or just drop in have one thing in common that they are just plain common. The fact that they have a heart which does not realize that - they have been punished for no particular fault of theirs. But still they need to find that one reason, that one justification as to why they were abandoned the way they were! Why is that their heart is not ready to move on from the spot where it was stranded years back. No matter how much one tries to validate they are stuck where they were demeaned, made to feel unwanted or were told that they were not needed enough. This woman in question is a teacher herself and is been teaching kids for a good 12 years now, and if this is how she feels-what would she hand out to the generation ahead! Another guy swore me secrecy and kept on enquiring me about myself- till one day he just casually referred “Do you know how I feel, I feel that if I am not on my PC at my work- I am being weighed down by huge boulder, and loneliness consumes me”. I was agape because here was a guy maintaining a cheerful composure at least twice my age and a house full of people. And I wonder what happened to them, to these perfect normal cheery people, where did Life go wrong and so wrong that they find facades, masks and escapist routes to hide.
Despite years of practice I have not found any set ways of dealing with them- don’t know if the Girl with her plainness needs more support or the one who had to shed hers to become a part of the Herd! All I know is that a Kind word which was spoken to me when I was at my worst, kept me alive for days.
On a Lighter Note: Chocolates should be banned !!
