~Without warning
as a whirlwind
swoops on an oak
Love shakes my heart~ Sappho
Let me take you all back to my childhood memories, the same time i.e. New Year eve.
On the eve of New Year, the last hours of the departing year. I would snuggle in the warm cozy quilt with my grand parents with a cup of milk and dry fruits, peanuts, rewadi, gajak around me as the munches as I hear the stories and interesting incidents from my grand father in his soft voice, which still echoes in my mind. He would ask me how was my year and what all I would always remember, the good times and bad times. One of the topics would be New Year resolution. He would never ask me but would tell me what he did that he shouldn’t and he should have but didn’t. He would make promises with himself to rectify his mistakes he made this year. He would tell me he would learn from his mistakes and would not repeat them. And I would just flow with the emotions and follow and make promises at my level.
On the first day of the year, we would get up early, take bath and go to temple. There my grand father would close his eyes and repeat the promises he made last night and I would blindly follow him. Next day I would not remember anything about the New Year except for while writing dates. But then somewhere, someday I would see him following his small promises like not wasting paper and I would see his writing pad with completely filled pages or not spilling water while watering his plants, and that would remind me somewhere of my New Year resolutions.
Now the things have changed. Off late the “resolution” is glamorized, when the glamour world flaunts their New Year resolutions most of which are mindless and idiotic. Somewhere it is like any other festival which goes by as the day ends. But I always wonder, is it really? I make a New Year resolution so that it could help me live a better life, with less guilt. Some say, we don’t live with guilt, for me they are either God or Satan. I know I will not follow my promises, will forget them or overlook them most of the times, but even once or twice if I could strengthen myself to stick to them even once then I guess the motive is somewhere solved, as if I can do something once then I can repeat it n number of times. I would make a resolution in the hope to be a better person and hoping it may pass on.
Now I am in his shoes and can understand why he did it? I was never forced to learn anything but I looked at them and learnt. I guess now it’s my turn. As such, old habits die hard!
(Nishant @sydbarett, hope you agree with me partially :))
