I have fixed my gaze on the slammed door. I do not recollect being so optimistic about anything, the way I am today looking at the slammed door. I am waiting for it to open again. Probably she will enter with a confused look, will drop the suitcase at the doorway and run to the bedroom to sob on the pillow. I know she will be sorry for the decision she took, these decisions are not as easy as she presumed. If that would have been the case, I would have walked three years back the day I caught a bunch of letters from her EX.
I would have thrown the glass of water which I was holding on her face and walked out of the house, but I did not. We are still living as Indians even though we are breathing in a posh studio apartment of West Croydon.
Probably Lola’s thought process has stopped accommodating the cultural values anymore. The vermilion dabba which was gifted by my mom during her last visit here, lies untouched next to the dressing table. ‘Mangalsutra’ which she claimed had broken during ‘thanksgiving holiday’ never saw the jewelers shop. Probably all these where ‘prelude’ to the main song which she sang today and left … I remember her filmy lines ‘Astitva….’ ‘Freedom..’ ‘I wanna fly…’ etceteras of the world.
Huh ! I could have told her ‘life is not as easy as she presumed’ no matter how much they talk about the liberation of fairer sex that is not the case. Managing life alone is not just like managing a ‘Kitty Party’. Where all you need to do is to arrange for some samosa’s, dhokla, basundi etc and a bunch of games. In the end a thank you speech to all the Manshukhanis and Thadanis of the world. Life needs many more resources which is not easy to gather especially when you are far away from your own country.
I have a permanent smile on my face, the same optimistic one. The smile reaffirms the fact that by evening she will be back to cry out loud in repentance of her decision of leaving me .. naah leaving this house. For the first time I am so sure of anything. Especially becaz I have accepted her grey face and lived with it from past three years. Tell me, who would want to clean someone’s shit in public, but I did. Reasons best known to me (grins).
I doze off on the sofa with the grin fixated on my face. I can see her among the haze, lifting up her gown and running towards me……but what is that bell ringing in the distance that keeps distracting her…shucks man! She is running towards the bell sound..as it becomes louder and clearer.
Suddenly I am jolted back among the smell of stale coffee and a litter of newspaper, it’s the door bell….I am trying to hide my sneer, here she returns with the pleading eyes. But this time I have my clauses ready. We need to reexamine our relationship. But before that I will hug her back. Its human to make mistakes. I fumble with the lock like a clumsy fool, cursing myself.
Sir ! Express Delivery
Right In the Morning?.
Yeah Sir! It says Urgent to be delivered within two hours, it’s a local dispatch!
I am sure my heartbeat could have been heard by him also. My hands tremble as I
tear apart the envelop.. suddenly my knees give me away and I find the papers fluttering on the ground. Everything else becomes hazy except for two words “Divorce Papers”
Ohh … So Finally Lola Ran!!!??
..... inspired by Run Lola Run
