A Cloud of gloom has shrouded the town of Box Office Nagar where Arjun Pandey, a 21 year old has committed suicide. Speculations are that the boy took the grave step after falling into depression since watching Dhoom 3. However, his friends and relatives have more reasons to tell than the twists in Race.
“I should have known, he was high on'Tushaar' these days, he said it was an endangered stuff and wants to grab it when it is still in circulation”, said Vijay, his best friend. According to the doctors, his autopsy has shown high amounts of'Tushaar' which caused serious damage to his nervous system. The ill effects of'Tushaar' includes delusions about their physical appearance and too much reliance on'Ekta' which would have become their only inspiration to live.
His girlfriend however has a different story to tell. Apparently he had planned to propose her in a mall and went through every Karan Johar movie for that perfect song but the backup dancers proved too costly for him. He then sent a DVD of'Gangs of Wasseypur' to Karan Johar who retorted by sending him a Dostana card with the note'Yes, I'm available'. psychologists say this incident might have triggered the suicide.
People thronged his house to pay last respects to the fallen hero. Stories of his heroics echoed throughout the town. Teachers from his high school remember him as the brightest student they had ever produced. Mr. Pyarelal, his maths teacher said “He was the first student to understand the true meaning of infinity after noticing Salman's force to kick ratio in Dabangg. Hadn't it been for his desire to see'Munni' he would have run out screaming'Munni' .eh sorry'Eureka' ”. His numerous Eureka moments had forced his family to remove the TV from his bathroom.
His Physics teacher Mr. Chaudhary mentions how he vehemently opposed the idea of inertia and proved Newton wrong by carefully analysing every Rohit Shetty movie. “He was a genius!”, said Mr. Chaudhary.
His friends remember him as the guy who didn't like the idea of watching'American Pie' at their wild night outs and chose to bring his precious stash of'Emraan' which he had carefully hidden from his parents. “He was all for desi! Katrina Kaif was the only exception. He offered to teach her Hindi in a fan mail which she turned down saying knowing Hindi or being Indian wasn't a pre requisite to be successful in India showing Sonia Gandhi as an example. He was devastated.”said one of his friends.
The Governement has ordered a judicial enquiry to find the cause of the suicide. The AAP however staged a dharna in front of the Parliament opposing this move as they wanted the report atleast by the end of this century. Jaya Bachchan has made a proposal of handing over the case to ACP Jai and Ali as they are virtually job less and both of them had recently registered at a nearby employment exchange. BJP vehemently opposed this proposal and walked out of the Rajya Sabha saying that the duo who failed in their last three ventures cannot be trusted.
Arjun's cremation saw a host of politicians and bollywood celebs. A Camera man was seen crying after Aamir Khan told him to retake his perfect'dukhi' shot for the 300th time. The member's of the Bollywood Mom's association consoled his mother by handing over a DVD of Karan Arjun and declared “Aayega, aapka Arjun aayega!”
Meanwhile, the police has stumbled upon a PVR ticket while searching for a suicide note.
PS: I love Bollywood and it has been a major part of our culture for years and will be in the future. But the recent trend of shitty blockbusters has made me question their sense and our sensibility.
