I died yesterday and it’s my dead body that’s lying there in the middle of the room. There are so many people in the room that it’s getting suffocated; more so with their crying and shouting. Most of them I hardly know, but they are showing as if they really care for me. What is annoying me is that, all this is delaying my final rite. Let me correct myself: for that body’s final rite. I don’t belong to that body anymore. I’m Soul and a Soul never dies. So, to avoid the confusion, now onwards I will be addressing that body as ‘It’.
Standing here and looking at all that’s happening. I am wondering, do I really belong here, to these people. All their cries and feelings are addressed to the dead body that's lying there. And now that I can see their hearts clearly, all in black and write, I am surprised, there are very few who really care and love, that too through that body. Since that the body itself don’t belong to me, how will their love and care.
I am feeling even sorrier for group of those people standing outside and hesitating to go inside and face the dead body. Throughout life, they had differences with me, hated me. Now they are feeling sorry for holding the hard feelings for so long. I want to tell them that it doesn’t really matter anymore, but I can’t.
I have regained my awareness; awareness that I am Soul and not that body lying there; getting ready to be burnt in few hours. All my life, I had spent many hours, for its well-being and health and enjoyment; in the end it just turned out to be a rented house which I had to vacate yesterday. It was not on my own will, as you all know, it just happened. But in truth, it did not just happen; it had been planned long back by that Supreme Being, GOD, who has come to take me now. He wants me to stay for some more time, and watch it all, till the moment they burn the body. What a waste of time; time that I spent in beautifying it, when it all will turn into ashes in some time.
I don’t wanna see it burn and feel sorry anymore. I don’t wanna be here anymore. I don’t belong here. But GOD wants me to see it burn and REALIZE. I said I already have and he said, “Not Completely, yet. I want you to see it turn to ashes and watch all the people playing around.” I don’t know whats the use of that; but I am afraid to say so to GOD.
You might want me to describe how GOD is like. Well, I am really sorry, that I can’t do that. Neither I have words to describe Him nor am I allowed to do so. He says, “Everyone has to do it on their own. Either before death or after death, but I love those who do it before.” I am feeling sorry that I didn’t do it before death.
One thing I can surely tell you is that He loves us all. By Us I mean, us Souls and not the bodies. Now that I am looking at Him, I can see that I really am part of Him, a tine one though, but indeed a part of Him. I feel pity that during my life, all the time I spent in worldly things and hardly remembered Him. Guess what, that’s only thing that He is upset about with me. Please take note of it.
When I asked Him, why I didn’t realize it during my life time that I am Soul and not that Body; He politely replied “You never wanted to. You never showed interest or intentions. All the time you asked me for things and that’s what I gave you. If you had asked me for myself, I would have given you all that I have.” These words have made me feel even sorrier for myself. Please take a note of it.
Now they are taking the dead body to cremation ground. They have laid it on top of logs of woods and they have put some of them on top of the body as well. They are taking extreme care not to hurt the body; they think it will hurt me. Fools! How does it matter; they are ready to burn it and are worrying about little scratches and all that. It’s not going to hurt me; just like them I am standing here and watching it all. But, what can they do, they have no knowledge of it.
Son of the body has set it on fire and it’s burning like anything. They are putting butter and ghee on top of it to keep the fire roaring. It Looks like they won’t be satisfied until it’s all burnt to ashes.
35 minutes and its all gone to ashes. A body that took 45 years in the making turned to ashes in just 35 minutes. What a pity! Now I am thinking was it really worth it. Everything I did in this life time, so called achievements, belongs to that dead body. All the people there, crying and worrying, belong to that body. All the money, land and wealth I accumulated belonged to that dead body.
I was wondering, what actually belong to me and that’s when God answered, “Me. I belong to you and you belong to Me.”
My eyes were all teary as I said “Sorry GOD, I didn’t realize it during my life time.”
And He replied, “Don’t worry, there are hardly few who do realize it. Let’s go Home now. Don’t you wanna see your Real Home?”
He smiled and I smiled too
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PYAR HUMEIN PHIR MILAAEGA...
