Is ‘good’ enough?
Personally, I think marriage can be the greatest possibility in living life to the fullest! However, marriage is usually between ‘mixed feelings’ of two people who have evolved(?) into what they call a ‘good marriage’. Men often marry for more steady sex, but still harbor some conditional love within. Women tend to feel it will satisfy their longing for more love. Both are usually disappointed. Rarely is communication improved as two people intertwined into what should be the peak of ‘gods’ image flowering. Marriage needs to be more than a haphazard functional arrangement to have two incomes, or children, or to have one’s insecurities, or biological needs to be taken care of.
People drift away in memories of times long past. Consciously, they use those good early memories to give them justification for continuing hanging with the aging car of marriage. Or, perhaps time has come to trade in one, until the next ‘one’ presents themself in a flurry that replaces the memories of the first ‘fling marriage’. It’s common to continue where you left off after a new flurry of emotion and promises. People rarely ‘correct’ what contributed to the prior problems that you were likely a contributor to.
It’s not so easy just to click over to a new relationship without being aware of what made the other a formerly declared ‘good relationship’. Generally, two had bad habits from earlier years that didn’t get fixed. The main one centers around fears of intimacy, commitment, and well, total communication. People get comfortable with emotional pains, or inability to express emotions themselves and/or their partner. Most, strangely, unconsciously fear the unknown of letting go to a deeper connection, perhaps having a sense of unworthiness and a fear of failing.
Whether maintaining a relationship that is more ‘just functional’ than one that could be shown to the world, or beginning a new one, courage is needed to move past the problems, or bad habits that have been the pattern. Relationshits are your choice for reasons inside your past that need to change. Opening the door to new fresh air comes with a focus on meditation or love. The ‘love’ may need an intention and meditation to open up greater vulnerabilities.
The path may not be easy in the shift depending in some part on your circumstances. Meditation to open up ‘love’s doors’ will inevitably create unknown confusions, and perhaps a little chaos in letting go of barriers you’ve lugged along for ever. The ‘intent of the mind and heart’ must stay strong in an evolving transition to a higher state of being. The ‘gold’ in relationships is worth the climb out of what doesn’t work beyond even ‘good’. What waits is the greatest joy and bliss possible. From experience, I can see no reason to not reach for the highest love.
(from my email folder)
