It was the day before my 13th Birthday, most of my time in school was spent in thinking about the shopping I was supposed to do with my mom, I dreamt of a pink and white dress that I will buy.
To my greatest shock I found the dress of my dreams and somehow persuaded my mom to buy it for me, It was my birthday the next day, the day where you are allowed to wear any dress of your choice and not the boring uniform..
Everything seemed perfect but there was one little problem..
The dress dint fit me!
This incident was my first realization that I was not normal ( according to the world) I was different, I dint have the privilege of buying what ever I like and wear it, I was FAT!
This was followed by three days of continuous crying, all the crying dint help though, I had to move on but somehow I was not the same, something wounded my heart that wasn't visible to the naked eye and only I could feel the pain..
With time , I moved on from school and college and to a professional degree college, I realized that with years all I gained was weight and all I lost was confidence !
Oh BTW, the world sees you differently if you are fat, apparently you are this unattractive, unhealthy, unfit person who has nothing to do but eat and cannot walk or run or do anything, you don't have a Life! You have committed the biggest crime by being fat, Its a sin because no guy will ever like you! No one will be ready to marry you because there is so much of fat that a guy cannot see though it! :P
From my teenage I have been told that there is something wrong with me, you need to correct it , people who don't matter to me have come and told me that I am unfit to be a girl !
With every insult my wound increased and the real person inside went hiding somewhere, till one day when I decided enough was enough !
It was the last year in college, After a lot of crash diets, starving and trying everything that was ever written on the net and in any book that I could find my hands on I realized I was a special case, Nothing seemed to work..
What should I do? I thought, I got free advice from everyone, Eat that, Don't eat that, Exercise, I got sympathy too, Its heredity don't worry!
After a few months I would be back on Square one, the world seemed more cruel and the insults kept getting more personal, I wanted to end all this. ..
To be Continued ...
