I am into virgin territory here. It is surprising to see that no one has thought of listing their worst hindi songs, though bollywood churns out tasteless stuff by thousands every year.
Presenting some of the most abhorrent, absurd, asinine, awful, appalling, crass, crude, disgusting, gross, horrible, idiotic, inane, incongruous, insane, ludicrous, meaningless, mindless, nonsensical, obscene, repulsive, ridiculous, senseless, sickening, silly, stinking, stupid, tasteless, terrible, vile and vulgar hindi film songs churned out from the bollywood factories.
1.Hum to Tamboo mein Bamboo(Mard):
Aaaaaargh.ugh. Is it the legendary Amitabh Bachchan lip-syncing to this absolutely crass nothing-left-to-imagination song or the King of double-entrées Dada Kondke? With Bade miyaan showing the way, why blame the chotte miyan for his ‘khatiyaas’?
2.Sari Hawaa ho gayi(Mawali):
Sridevi:”Ueeamma, Ueeamma, mushkil ye kya ho gayi,
Jeetendra:Tere badan se toofan utha jo, sadi hawa ho gayi
(S: Uiamma, Uiamma, what the hell has happened?
J: A storm has arisen from your body and blown off your Sari)
3.Teri Naani mari to main kya karoon:
Main to raste se jaa raha…bhelpuri kha raha tha….seetti baja raha tha…ladki ghuma raha tha…tujhe mirchi lagi to main kya karoon?…teri naani mari to main kya karoon)
(I was walking down the street…eating bhelpuri….whistling a tune…making out with a girl…your granny died, so what shall I do?)
4.Batata Wada:
Batata Vadaaaa, batata Vada, Dil nahin dena tha dena pada
Batata Vadaaaa, batata Vada, Pyar nahin karna tha karna pada
(Batata Vada, I didn’t want to give my heart, but had to give; Batata Vada, I didn’t want to love, but had to love)
5.Ande ka Funda:
Anda Agar Na Hota To Murgiyaan Na Hoti, Murgiyon Ke Bin Maze Ki Partiyaan Na Hoti,
Gar Partiyaan Na Hoti To Aashiqui Na Hoti, Jo Aashiqui Na Hoti To Zindagi Na Hoti,
Ande Se Milti Murghi Murgi Se Milta Andam, Patna Ho Ya Batinda Ghar Ghar Mein Milta Anda,
Is Mein Chupa Hai Jeevan Ka Fal Safa
Aao Sikhao Tume Ande Ka Funda, Yeh Nahin Pyare Koi Maamule Banda
(If there was no egg, there would have been no chicken, without chicken there wouldn’t have been parties, without parties there wouldn’t have been any romance, without romance there would have been no life. You get eggs from chicken, chickens from eggs; whether in Patna or Bhatinda, in every home you get eggs)
6.I love my India:
Yeh Duniya ika dulhan hai, dulhan ke mathe pe bindiya
Yeh mera India, I love my India
(This world is a bride, on the forehead of this bride is Bindiya(a colored dot worn by women on forehead) This is my India, I love my India)
Does it make any sense? Pulp patriotism at its worst!
7.Mujhse Shaadi Karogee?:
Raat ko aounga mein, Tujse le jaounga mein
Dil dehkaounga mein, Saher karouga mein
Chori se aana, Chupke se jaana, Achchi nahin dil lagi
Mujse shaadi karoge, Mujse shaadi karoge
8.Sarkailo Khatiya Jaada Lage:
Sarkailo khatiya jaada lage(repeat 3 times)
Jaade me sajna pyaara lage
Govinda and Karishma Kapoor shaking their way to infamy.
9.East or West(Judwaa):
London ki ladki naa naa, Amrican gori naa naa,
Hong Kong ki chori naa naa, Paris ki gori naa naa.
Yahan ki ladki whaa whaa, Badan pe saari whaa whaa,
Maathen pe bindiya whaa whaa, Kaanon mein baali whaa whaa,
Pairon mei.n paayal whaa whaa, Hothon pe laali whaa whaa,
Hain bholi bhaali whaa whaa, Haai sharmili whaa whaa,
Birla Tata whaa whaa, Yahan ka aathaa whaa whaa,
Jooton mein Bata whaa whaa, Ladki ka chaata whaa whaa
All India Radio whaa whaa, Dv Metro whaa whaa,
DoorDarshan whaa whaa, East or West, India is the Best
(Girls from London, America, Hongkong or Paris no-no, India’s girls – wow wow, saris on their bodies - wow wow, Bindiya(again) on their forehead – wow wow, earrings on their ears – wow wow, …….they are sweet and shy – wow wow, Birla Tata - wow wow, India’s wheat – wow wow, Bata shoes – wow wow, girl’s slap – wow wow, All India Radio – wow wow, DD metro – wow wow, East or West, India is the Best)
10.Teri Bindiya(Jodi No.1):
Teri bindiya udaake le gayi meri nindiya
Teri bindiya udaake le gayi meri nindiya
Haan, haan, haan teri bindiya udaake le gayi meri nindiya
Main jaag raha hoon, so gaya saara India
(Your Bindiya has stolen my sleep – repeat 3 times, I am awake, while the whole India is asleep)
11.Excuse me(Style):
Excuse me, Kya re, Mera dil tere pe fidaa re
Bus stop pe dekha tujhe pehli baar, Jhatke mein ho gaya tere se pyaar
Bolta hoon main sachchi baat, Samajh mat isko bakwaas kya
Airport pe dekha tujhe pehli baar, Flight mein ho gaya tere se pyaar
Excuse me, Kya re, Mere do bachon ki maa re
Abhi to hoon saala roadpati, Ladki chaahoon karodpati
Jiske das baarah bangle ho, Banna chaahoon main uska pati
Uske paas Ferari ho, Jis mein meri sawaari ho
Foreign voreign main ghoomoon, NRI ki voh chhori ho
Hogi kahan aisi ladkiyaan, Dhoondoon kahan unko
(Excuse me, What re? I have lost my heart to you, I saw you at bus-stop and fell in love with you, I’m telling you the truth, don’t think it is b, I saw you at airport, fell in love in mid-flight. Excuse me, What re? mother of my two children. I am today road-pati, but I wanna girl who is a millionaire, who has ten-twelve bunglows, Ferrari car, who travels abroad and is a daughter of some NRI)
12.Tamma Tamma Loke:(You lover, me lover; you agree, me agree; so why should we care about daddy or mommy; you are only worthy of love, the rest of the world is useless; Tamma Tamma loke)
13.Accident ho gaya raba-raba:(Both of us were lost in the frolics of youth, it wasn’t your fault nor mine, both of us didn’t see the signal; accident happened, agreement happened and it became permanent, oh my god!)
14.A, aa, i, ee, u, oo, e, ai udibaba, udibaba…ba pa udibaba, udibaba: A lesson in hindi alphaphets.
15.ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTYVWXYZ……I Love You, You Love me(Hum saath saath hai): Our filmmakers should be commended for aiding education of pre-school children. So what if it makes for senseless lyrics…the ends are important, not the means.
16.Oonchi hai building, lift teri band hai:
17.Aaja meri gaadi mein baith ja:
18.Main tujhko bagha laya tere ghar se, tere baap ke dar se:
19.What is your style number/what is your mobile no/smile no?(Haseena maan jayegi):
20.Jaane de Jaane de – thodi hawaa aane de(Haseena maan jayegi):
Your opinions, comments and additions to the list welcome
