My roommates and I were having fun in our dormBrianbalakumaranry. Suddenly, one of them had the nerve to pair me with a popular girl in school and tease me. Seconds later, the unexpecting chap gasped as my slipper slapped him on the face!
A person I know was watching TV while I was busy nearby, cramming the crap(in the name of homework) for the next day. I don't remember what irked me - her laughing loudly every nanosecond or the bride in that @# serial weeping. The next moment saw me hurling my books on the wall, pushing the table to the ground and piercing the air with* - won't you shut up?!
I was watching a lovely Kungfu video when, in comes my father and says -'Manoj, no videos now and I will not repeat the same again. I need some peace & quiet while I sleep, ok?' It didn't surprise me when I(after he left) grumbled - #ker, @#!ker, a@#!
Sigh,
I feel ashamed to say that the above were true incidents in my life.
Today, I'm on the verge of being crowned Buddha XVI by the prominent Hindu Gods Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva for consistently pasting a halo above my serene face in the academic year 2004-05. I take this opportunity to thank my parents, sis, friends in Bangalore and dear MS members. I love you, mmmmmuuaaaaah!
:P
Jokes apart, the above incidents and my introspection thereafter(not to mention my family's help) has reduced the boiling rage within considerably. Irrespective of the buzzard of problems stinging my life, I have a perpetual smile on my face today(even when I hate acting so!)
Here's what the former Kill Bill been doing to save himself -
Spiritual chants
This is the number-one effective method for me. Our family has a guru - Swami Tathata(https://sritathata.org). The moment I chant some of the one-line mantras he has taught, I feel like someone whose heart has been massaged softly by ice! My anger dips back to near-zero again. Sure, the problem does not disappear but atleast, I'm in a better frame of mind to solve it than worsening the situation.
There are many genuine seekers in India like Sai Baba, Mata AmritAnasultanndamayi, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Swami Tathata and others who have taught effective methods to control temper. Learn these if you've the faith. If you're wary of gurus, why not pick the popular Life Positive mag from the nearest stall, that shares tremendous insights on this malady?
Note:-I'm hesitant to share some of the mantras here. As a rule, a guru or his initiates(those who take a vow & accepted into spiritual teachings) should teach them directly to you. These mantras should be recited in a particular fashion(getting the sounds right). I got mine from my mother(an initiate). But I'm not an initiate. Anything I share may prove counterproductive to you.
Anger vs. Health
Medical reports talk about anger/strong emotions affecting our health. Eeek! I'm very conscious about my hair, especially the patch resting on the back of my head. The last thing I need is my grunts causing hairfall! Besides, anger can lead to BP, heart attack, eye-strain(gradually leading to poor vision) and so on. These cons are enough for me to keep a big check on my temper.
The 7 habits book
Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is one of the most influential self-help books I've read yet. It has made significant changes in the lives of millions at every nook & corner of the world, including mine. So, go ahead & grab a copy that has revolutionised our living habits, since Dale Carnegie.
No one has a personal vendetta against me
I realised(like many) that an angry nut has nothing against me personally. Either, he's frustrated about the bad day he had or he's annoyed by an act of mine. Remember - my ACTION, not ME!. For example, some hate to be asked, 'Can you give me an eraser?'. They prefer, 'May I have an eraser?'. Using the word CAN is like taunting the other if he is CAPABLE of giving you an eraser.
So, no more tit for tat. If somebody calls me an a@ today, I'm indifferent. Poor fella, he's going through a rough weather, may Lord have mercy on his soul!
Anger is weakness
Who wouldn't want to win an argument? But guess who actually loses in the end? No, not the dumbwit who doesn't have enough intellect to lend horsepower to his reasons but the guy who loses his top. The moment I become emotional, the other wins. Anger is frailty. It shows that I don't have the confidence to express myself calmly.
The best way to slay our enemy is courtesy. Watch him get ruffled when you answer calmly despite provocations. In the end, we may gain his friendship too.
Everything occurs for the good(touchwood)
This reminds me of handling depression. Anything that shakes us is only temporary. Period.
My friend was devastated and angry with herself when she didn't pass the qualifying round in MphasiS(top BPO company) interview. A day later, she mopped herself and earned a job in a very good domestic call-centre. Today she's happy, enjoying an equally good aishwaryasingh23 and only day shifts(darn!).
So, bhais & behenjis, that's how Manoj(an ex-black cat or Kill Bill turned horribly wrong) became a living lotus.:)
But Don't You Dare Attempt to Provoke Me!
