Dec 02, 2013 03:07 PM
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Jessica Harold’s E-Book version of “The Art of Sledging” begins with one of the most funniest quotes I’ve ever read on cricket sledging, from a stand-up comedian named Vikram Sathaye.
It reads:-
“They say Aussies are good at sledging. But I would say if sledging is to be an attribute to decide the quality of cricketers, then India beat Australia by quite a margin. You know why..? Coz Australia sledge in 1 language but India sledge in 22 different languages.!!”
According to the sage dictionary :- “A “Sledge” is a long-handled hammer used to drive stakes or wedges.” In cricketing terms the word Sledging means “The practice among bowlers & fielders of heaping abuse and ridicule on the person batting, with the intent of breaking his/her concentration.”
Miss Harold’s book consists of a mere 120 pages which chronicles some of cricket’s outrageously hilarious sledging one-liners, ranging from the era of the great W.G. Grace to the controversial Indian spinner Harbhajan Singh.
“The Art of Sledging” consists of some 70 ode chapters & each chapter consists of a Mano-a-Mano exchange between an X player with a Y player, in either first-class or international cricket.
In the first chapter titled “A True Gentleman’s Sport” Howard begins with a statement represented as fact :- “Sledging has an honorable tradition and nowhere is this tradition afforded as much respect as in the game of cricket.”
She makes a smart reference to 50th B.C Rome, the infamous line of Circus Maximus to a fellow gladiator Augustus -- “Your d*#@’s hanging out of your toga” -- during the first Olympiad at the 100-mtr crease. FYI, A Toga is a one-piece cloak worn by men in ancient Rome & I guess you can imagine the rest.
According to master sledger “Ian Chappell” the use of the word “sledge” first graced the cricket vocabulary in Adelaide during the Sheffield Shield completion in the early 60’s. The Percy sledge number “When a man loves a woman” was featured in the top 40 back then, and anyone swearing in front of a woman was called nicknamed ‘Sledge’ or ‘Percy’, hence the term “Sledge” was transferred to on-field behavior.
Then comes the folklore of W.G. Grace, the legendary English Batsman who played cricket in the last quarter of the 19th century & till date considered as one of the greats of the game. He was known as “The Godfather of Sledging” and Harold explains us the cric buff’s why?
Once, when Grace was at the crease, the ball snuck by him and knocked off a bail. Without hesitation, he replaced the bail and told the umpire straight-faced:
*‘Twas the wind which took
thy bail off, good sir.’*
It seems Grace would only go out when he was good and ready. But the umpire gave as good as he got, humoring Grace with the famous reply:
*‘Indeed, and let us hope thy wind
helps you back to the pavilion.’*
These sledges might seem a bit tame now but W.G’s immortal quips played a major part in setting a standard for tone, wit & level of arrogance that today’s sledger must meet. Howard defined Sledging as a bowler’s act or a fielders act but in W.G’s case -- it definitely came from the horse’s mouth only --batsman. She says Bowlers designed the art of sledging but Ironchandru021y it may seem the history says, the greatest sledger post W.G Grace is none other than Javed Miandad, the great Pakistani batsman who hit Chethan Sharma’s full toss for a six in the last ball, in a game in Sharjah with Pakistan requiring 5 runs to win the game..!!
In the wittiest exchange of the book, Miandad & Aussie bowler Merv Hughes grappled with one another in Adelaide, Australia, with one crackling one liner after another. During the 1991 Adelaide test, the Pakistani batsman told the beefy Australian fast bowler Merv Hughes that “ He looked like a big, fat bus conductor”. When Merv claimed Miandad’s wicket a few balls later he celebrated by running past Miandad with one hand held high, yelling: ‘Tickets please!’
Harbhajan Singh features twice in the book alongside Sangakara & Matty Hayden but I found it hard to believe how the author missed to single out his infamous “Monkey” reference on the Aussie All-rounder Andrew Symonds, which was later denoted “The Monkeygate controversy” -- the most controversial on-field sledging incident in cricket till date, no matter which way you look at it.
There is also a reference to Glenn McGrath vs Eddo Brandes the Zimbabwean tail-ender -- an exchange which the author refers to as an “All-time favorite Australian sledge”.
When the Zimbabwean number 11 was in the crease valiantly protecting his off-stump time & again, a frustrated McGrath asked
“Oi, Brando. Why are you so fat?”.
Quick as a flash, Brandes replied :-
“Because whenever I love your wife. She gives me a biscuit”
For a couple of minutes even the Aussie slip fielders couldn’t stop but giggle.
Now, although this book features plenty of witticisms & hilarity in the name of sledging, its only downfall boils down to the fact that the author didn’t take stance or make judgments on whether Sledging is good for the game or not. She did a good job of chronicling some of cricket’s outrageous one-liners ever but fortunately or unfortunately shied away from being extra brave and opts not to comment on the all important Symmo vs Bhaji incident and most disappointingly skips that never-ending debate “Whether Sledging is good for the game or not..?” .
Barring that one minor hiccup, “The Art of Sledging” written by Jessica Harold is a quite fascinating read. I know it’s the ultimate cricket sledging bible but actually it doesn’t matter whether you’re a cricket fan or not – If you believe you have good sense of humor then this book is tailor made for you.
I’m signing off with my favorite exchange in the book featuring some kid named Sachin Tendulkar who showed the world what he’s capable of and most importantly “it’s the bat that which should talk the most as opposed to the mouth” ..
In 1989 when Tendulkar was facing legendary Pakistani spinner Abdul Quadir in an exhibition match, the latter provoked the little master by saying “Hey Kid, try & hit me. Otherwise go home & drink milk.”.
As always Sachin kept silent & let his bat do the talking. He hit Quadir for 4 consecutive sixes and scored 28 runs in one over with their skipper Imran Khan standing at mid-off..!! Hi.. Hi.. Hi.. All one can say “David had felled Goliath & a legend was born” …!!!!
~ Enjoy ~
