10 worst Bollywood dance numbers? :(
I am actually NOT writing on that. Blame it on the cloud ( I mean Megha)!!
First cometh my disclaimers :)
1) This review is not on 10 worst dance numbers but on what is my notion of the dances or rather the dancers in Bollywood.
2) I do not know any of the LISTED people personally and so, if I praise them, they dont owe me Rs 2 and if I feel they are not good, I don’t carry forward any ill feelings from my previous birth as well. This review is completely a personal opinion.
3) I am not the authority on dance to judge people !!
4) The list is only of people belonging to Bollywood and after the 70's.
Now onto the subject.
As for me, the dances are the most distinctive and colourful feature of any bollywood flick. A dance can make or break a song. A beautiful song can be rendered useless by a bad performer and a mediocre song can be converted into a visual treat by a good dancer. Ofcourse, what matters the most is the choreography.
The musing on this topic led me to categorise the dancers – all of them - the good, the bad, the ugly. Hence, this would be MY broad classification.
1) Miss Twinkle Toes: As the name suggests, this category would include the good dancers who are versatile, talented and can jiggle as in jiggle!! The nominees would be Madhuri Nene (tx Abha for the correction :), Sridevi and Aishwarya Rai (or Bachchan!!). The winner for me is Madhuri any day! From classical to folk (Lavani in Sailab) to hip-hopping with Prabhu Deva, she has done it all and done it too well. Her fluid movement, the rhythm, the expressions are too effortless as if she was a born with a ghungroo! Sri baby was not so good with the western dances or so I feel . As for Ash, "Kajra Re" says it all (Abha, please dont rate me NU for this ;)!
2) Boneless Wonders: The first time I saw Prabhu Deva dance, my jaws refused to clamp shut. I was wondering whether he is a human or a plastic, as malleable as can be. Amazing dancer and with a sense of humour – that’s what sets him apart. Its easy to just dance, but to be creative as well as humorous, requires something extra. Close suitors would be Hrithik Roshan (fantastic in D2) and our own Mithun Da. How can I forget Mithun? He was the one who revolutionised "disco dancing". His discos may look awkward now but they were classics in their time!
3) Miss Thumkas: Well, thumka essentially means the hip portion can dislodge itself from the waist and then land back in place too!! No, I am not talking of magic or miracle. I am talking of one step without which any Indian dance is incomplete! The contenders in this category would be Urmila, Shilpa Shetty and Kareena. Of these, I find Shilpa the best. I agree with T N Seshan abt her being a graceful dancer. Urmila and Kareena tend to become jerky at times!!
4) Phunny Bones: I cant watch Govinda dance without a smiley on my face. The way he enjoys and dances, the way he makes faces, its a pleasure to watch, or atleast it WAS a pleasure. I havent seen the recent Bhagam Bhaag and his dances there in. Sanjoy claims he has become more of a flying elephant now!! But I do admit, I loved watching his tapori dances. Akshay Kumar is one more fantastic dancer who can carry humour with rhythm. Ideally I would put him in category 2 as well.
5) Gym-nasts – Being nostalgic is really a nice feeling. When I see Sunny Deol dance, I am reminded of the PT drills while I was in school. 1-2-3-4, Side, up, front and down. Well, he sure has an alternate profession in being a gym instructor!! Salman is no better. When he dances, I can only visualise him doing his workout (not lustfully please!! I aint a Sallu fan), especially in his first movie, Maine Pyaar Kiya. Jeetendra of yore, is another one I can quote here. He completed his sports personality with white shirt, white pants, white shoes and white cap!!
6) 2-left-feeters – I implore the film makers to have some pity on the audience. I mean, dances can be good but then dances can be torture as well... or maybe the intent is to give a smoke break!!! Manisha Koirala tops this category. Whether it was Kitna Mushkill Hai Dekho – Agnisakshi or Telephone Dhun from Hindustani, she left me wondering why does she attempt it. Sunny Deol (again) and Jackie Shroff would be others with 2-left feet. Watch Jackie in "Amma Dekh" and "Amchi Mumbai" in the movie called Stuntman to believe me!!
7) Zulu Dancers – Aditya, you owe me Rs 2 for dedicating a category to your ID!! Well, when you say "wild", I can only recollect one person - Shammi Kapoor in Junglee! Infact most of his other dances were wild too. But it was fun to watch. SRK well, cant say he is a true zulu dancer, but then he looks wild in some of them, to me atleast. And all you SRK fans, forgive me for my bad taste!!
8) Happy Feet – Shyam!! Do you want to see the Indian version of Happy Feet? I present before you none other than Shashi Kapoor. His dances reminded me of a penguin almost always!! But there was one difference, he used to shake his neck a lot like some birdie. There is one more contender in the category - Dharmendra. Well, well, another one with 2-left-feet but one particular song where he sure made all of us happy with his feet was "main jat yamla pagla deewana" :)
9) Practitioners – No, its not Dr Sudipto!! But if he can do a good VR showing his dancing prowess, I might add him here :) By practitioners, I meant those who were not born dancers but then practice maketh them the somewhat-perfecth. From NU to SU!! The topper here is Sanjay Dutt. I was stupefied watching him shake his leg to the tunes of "Tamma Tamma" in Thanedar. Till then I always thought he was one person who would stay away from it. There are 2 more under this subtopic - Abhishek and Preity Zinta. Earlier, when I saw Abhi dance, I felt he was not comfy in the dancing shoes. But now, things have changed or is it the "pyar ke side-effect"? Dunno!! Preity has grown from the awkward "Jiya jale" in Dil se to "Wheres the party tonight". Well, we do have inspirations galore!!
10) I-am-loving-it Types – These are the people who enjoy dancing. They are not intimidated with anyone/ anything. They make you want to join in the fun. My personal list would be Madhuri, Rishi Kapoor, Kajol and Amitabh Bachchan apart from some of the good dancers I already mentioned above. With these people dancing, you feel like being attentive rather than change the channel or take a break!!! A special applause for Rishi who inspite of his heavy weight, SIMPLY, enjoys his dance!!
Well, now you can rip the review apart!!! Am sure I have missed out many!! Please update me on them!
