Dec 02, 2003 12:09 PM
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(Updated Dec 02, 2003 12:19 PM)
A cow is a beautiful animal. Now I don’t have much against this opening line from an essay provided it has been written by an Ox & if it’s not the case , I won’t be reading even the second line . Why exactly are you reading this review ?
Here I’m going to list 10 things , indispensable, to make your trip a success . We seem to have graduated in ’The art of Leaving’ by some Ravi Sucker ( No offence meant to sri sri Ravi Shanker !) & tend to leave a thing or two back home which makes our trip miserable and it’s really embarrassing. Which reminds me , as I child I thought Bruce Wills was a cig’ brand and Madonna Aunty was a Mythological figure , how embarrassing . Sorry got diverted , let’s get back to the point . The point is that this should not happen *kyunki ye aache baat nahi hai *.
[1] Wife : A wife is a poor man’s PSU. *dus saal Patni rakhi hai maine , so take it from me , aapki Patni safe nahi hai , kyunki hamessa kise payase ki nazar… You know the story . So if you believe in the theory of why take chances take her along .
One of my friend’s claimed that he took his wife to exotic trips, showered her with gifts , hugged and kissed her and this really pleased her no end .Furthermore he suggested me to do the same but when I tried the same on his wife, she got furious ! These women ! we won’t understand them ever. Ideally you’d like to take someone else’ wife but ….
[2] Your Doggie : I assume you all have a faithful pet dog . My doggie , Ramu (It’s more interested in helping my mom with her household chores, thus the name) is very faithful , everytime I sense danger at the dead of night , I wake it up and it immediately starts barking . Very faithful indeed. When you will have a big fight with your wife in the hotel room , all night it will be with you by your side , I mean outside.
[3] DVD player and the latest flick KHNH : It’s all about loving your Friend’s loved ones. One designer disease and the party begins . So what if you are traveling, there are times when you don’t feel like going out and want to relax in the cozy comforts of your hotel room . For those occasions . Taking inspiration , you can even feign illness and try to win a few priety hearts .
[4] World Map : Where’s Timbaktu ? somewhere between Timbak 1 and Timbak 3 ? ..jana tha Japan pahuch gaye Chin samajh gaye na *. Mate you need counseling . And if this is what you are you might get caught at the immigration counter unless you are Columbus. My travel agent dispatched me to the *Land of rising Son (Dubya Jr’s Land) while I wanted to make a trip to Japan . Never trust those travel agents who will show you a neighbourhood White house and will try to paas it off as White House. So a world map is a must for you .
[5] Your Kids : * Hum do, mere ek , tere do * So a total of three kids. Though it’s arguable whether you will take them with you or they will take you with them ! But you can’t escape them , it’s a Do and Die situation for you.
[6] Your Air/Train tickets : Mere paas Maan hai , lekin mere paas tickets nahi hai !. What if they ask you to disembark should you fail to produce the tickets ? this could be Jaan lewa especially when the plane is flying at a height of 18000 fts . Always remember A big journey begins with a small ticket .
Additional Advice –Always use safety belts , it’s futile to try to reach the destination before the plane does.
[7] Cell Phone : And no , I’m not prompting you to join The League of abnormal gentlemen a la Shane warne . While on roaming God knows Call ho na ho but hey you can always receive the calls and those crispy sms’. A man is known by the sms’ he forwards. Make miscalls when you miss someone .
Additional Advice – Your wife is not Safe neither a Vault so never let her place her hands at your cell.
[8] Pesticides : Now you know the secret of sachin’s energy . It’s not Boast as being boasted by the manufacturers , it’s the ubiquitous pesticides. Leading economist Swaminathan A pilled up all the stats to prove how drinking water is much more injurious to health . So the Cola majors have succeeded in Thumbs Up their nose at the critics. Travelling could be draining and you need some thing to keep you going on and on . Grab it now !
[9] Binoculars : Doordarshan ! MTV & FTV rolled into one. this one’s dedicated to all those peeping Tom , Dick and our very own Hari. What you can see could be more than what you get ! So you know how to make good use of it , I aint trying to teach a fish how to swim .
[10] Spoons : You might ask , why spoons . Bhai, maine 10th option mein kuch toh likhna tha ! Mate I had to write something in the 10th option !
[Please submit your poetic comments to win The Early Bard prizes.]
