Are they bankable?. Review on State Bank Of India

Let me put a few kilos of icebag on my head just to stop the steam emanating from my head before I start writing about my experience.Breath-in, breath-out, breath-in, breath-out!(Caution: This is not exactly a review but the disgruntled ranting of a customer)

Ok so here goes my story:

I have the opportunity of coming home(Kolkata) only twice in a year, for a week, thanks to my job. So as a matter of fact those are the only 14 days in which all kinds of activity which requires my presence(even though the govt. offices might not require you to sign on something, yet they can't do without seeing your beautiful face at least once, might be that's what is known as extending human relations far and wide) needs to be performed - specially the bank related works.

This time I had two things which needed to be done -

1. Getting a Locker

   
   




2. Introducing my name in mom's a/c and FD, ie. creating a joint account, so that in the absence of anyone the other is entitled to access the account.Sounds quite simple eh? Well you are wrong. We are dealing with one of the best and most efficient banks of India - the great SBI.

   
   

Day 1(Thursday):

Since I was aware of the super snail pace of SBI, based on my previous experiences, I suggested mom to initiate the process from the next day I landed in Kolkata(8th April). With the centigrade touching almost a whooping 39 degrees, we made our  way through the bylanes of DumDum(the place where I stay).

The look of the bank was nothing to talk about. It looked like a hundred year old building which could become rubble anytime with the slightest gust of wind. We stepped inside the small'bank'. It had a manager's room and six counters in total. The place was swarming with people of all shapes and sizes, who were elbowing and fighting to reach the front of the "un"queued queues. Even if there were six counters only two counters mere manned. One counter which was for handing out forms and updating the passbook was manned by the most qualified person of the lot - the housekeeping maid. What a progressive bank! They give equal opportunity to everyone! I was almost in tears seeing that.

Mom went and asked the manager what formalities has to be done for the locker acquisition. He told to write an application and get a certain'voucher' form. We had to make an FD of amount RS. 5000 as a security deposit to the bank. The first big task was locating the counter where we would get this revered forms. Finally someone told us that it was available at counter 6. We went and pleaded the maid who was dozing off on the forms. She looked at us with half her eyes closed and handed over a white form without spending a single syllable. We quickly filled the forms and stood at the queue of counter 4, to submit the form. Almost after a 20 min wait when we reached at the counter, the typical'babu' sitting at the counter informed,

"This is not a voucher form go and get the right one".

So now we were'queue'less again. The maid looked at us with irritation and said, "Why didnt you mention the term'voucher'?"

We didnt argue with her that we had indeed told that as we were running short of time. After filling the'right' form we again stood in the queue like civilized people. But as we waited for our turn we saw aunties and young ladies barging in between and getting their work done. When questioned ti was found that they were a bit'closer' with the one sitting at the counter who of course couldnt keep them waiting in the queue. My temper was raising as the thermometer. Finally when we reached the counter the guy took our forms and gave us another form to fill. Why didnt he give us the form before was a question better not asked. So the entire step was repeated once again. Finally this time he took our forms and gave us a receipt, saying that we will get the certificate of this FD, two days later and then only we can do the rest of the formalities for the locker. We wanted to do a part of the joint a/c formalities as well, but these great people suggested - "Go slow, one at a time". Amen!

Day 2:(Saturday)

They had strictly asked us to come after 11.30 am, for the rest of the locker formalities. thankfully we were handed over the FD certificate withing 20 min of our arrival at the bank. And some benevolent fellow at the other counter suggested us to get it xeroxed, as a safety measure if the original one gets misplaced(which in all probability would considering the trash accumulated in forms of files behind their chairs). We went outside and got the xerox copies. After that we went to the manager's room who seemed better behaved this day. Actually he was trying to be a bit'too' friendly. Well after all this running around we actually didnt care if he was interested in flirting or work. he gave us another cartload of forms to fill up. 25 signatures each(i.e 75 signatures in total of me, mom and dad) was required as a part of the formality. It took us ages to complete while the clock threatened to reach 2pm(lunch time of the babus). So finally we were there struggling with handful of documents at the manager's desk. he gave a corny smile and asked to sign on some'final' documents(another 9 signs in total). At the same time we wanted to do the FD formalities. He handed over a form and asked us to write an application mentioning all the details of the FD. I wrote down everything patiently, and he kept the application with him while we took the form. Yeah we were also handed over the precious key of the locker and happened to get the first'darshan' of it as well. When we asked when should we come to submit the document, the guy at the counter 4 said with arrogance in front of the entire audience -

"Make sure you come before 12, else I wont accept it".

I was ready to blurt, but with at least half of the job done, mom asked me to be patient a bit more. Thus "redtape" attitude won that round too!

Day 3:(Monday)

Mom hurriedly finished the cooking and everything since we were asked to be at his service before 12o clock. Being a Monday the queue was even longer. The heat and precipitation level rose to an ultimate high, and the whirring ceiling fans that almost breathed their last provided the least comfort. We wanted to confirm which line to stand in but when we asked that at the counter, we were snubbed and told to stand at the back of the queue without any more explanation. We stood in a line that was supposed to be the one for submitting the joint a/c details. After half an hour when our turn came, the counter 4 guy glanced at the form and with all the apathy that he could muster, he made a snide comment -

"Is this the time to come? This is adding a name to the a/c which will require me to go through old files. Do you think I will do that now? Cant you see how many people are waiting in the line. I have told multiple times to come after 1, still people come and disturb this way!"

Contd.