From the pen of a mother. Review on Speed Post - Shobha De

It was time for me to return the book and get a new one. As I stood outside my book stall, my eyes traversing the books on display for the next familiar “title”, the name, Shobha De caught my attention. Having read her columns in Stardust and other such magazines, I could relate her only with gossips, glamour and gaudy writings, although her command over English was impeccable (as per me!!). Known for her controversial, racy works, I was skeptical about what her novels would be like. Curiosity made me pick the book titled “Speedpost” and the cover said that it was a collection of letters by Shobha De to her six children on loving, living, caring and coping with the world and also wishing for them “a life-sentence of hard but joyful labour”. I decided to give it a try. After all, I told my vain self, it would be an interesting insight into what motherhood means to those biggie-wiggies, huh!

I did not realize what was in store for me. Surprises and more surprises. After having done with the daily chores, I settled down to read the book and as I did so, I started getting engrossed and could not keep it down. I found myself nodding all the way as I could relate to the mother who was writing to her kids. Ashamedly, I admit that all my myths and fallacies were being shattered one by one

I learnt that: The gossip columnists do not always write crap.

I learnt that: Glamorous queens can make a good mother. Behind every woman, lies a heart that strives to be good mother! The punch line is there is nothing like good or bad mother. A mother is a mother. Period.

I learnt that: “I, me, myself” are not the only anxious mothers facing “its different” situations everyday!

The 284-page book published by Penguin starts with a statement that God must be a mother. The rest of the book proves it (I am not saying because I am one, maybe I am saying because I have one!).

The book is divided into 6 sections

1. My Mother is an alien! –Whether it is the mother who leaves her howling child while trudging half-heartedly to work or whether it’s the mother who is hassled about the lunch box of her children, Shobha has been there and done that. She mingles her own experiences with her memories of her mother.

   
   




2. Circle of love – Do you feel anxious to see the sibling rivalry amidst your children? Have you noticed the same anxious look in your mother when you and your brother/sister faught? Have you ever appreciated the fuss, the enormous effort, the pleasure your parents took to arrange for your birthday parties? Simple acts of love and care and yet overlooked. Shobha discusses the pleasures she derives from these.

   
   




3. Growing up is hard to do – I know! I know that kids will always remain kids. Do they ever grow up? Ah yes, they do, when you are told by them that your dresses are not as trendy any more and they would do the shopping themselves, when you are chided for being too fussy, when what you say sounds like lecture no 74 to them! Indeed growing up is hard, writes Shobha to her children, her own feelings going up and down all along.

   
   




4. Whats love got to do with it - How do you explain things like sex and love to your children? How do you tell them not to use those 4 letter words and they ask you why not? How do you warn them that the guy/gal isn’t the right one? Or do you just keep mum? How do you deal with your own feelings when your child is undergoing heartbreak? No, you wont find answers to these question, rather you will find situations which Shobha deals her own way!

   
   




5. Net nannies and cyber gypsies – Telephone! The long hours of talk! The lecture from your parents! Kuch yaad aaya? Sounds familiar? Plus the advent of internet. Where to draw the line in giving the children freedom? Shobha debates on this and much more.

   
   




6. The heart goes on – Being part of one family means much more than just living under one roof. There are times of quarrels, times of sacrifice, times of celebrations, times when you need to give some space, times of love, times when traditions need to be passed. The letters here discuss these aspects.

   
   

This book is

For mothers:This book is certainly not a self help book. It doesn’t teach you how to bring up your children. It doesn’t give you the Dos and the Donts. If you just read those letters, you would realize that all you have to do is listen to your heart.

For daughter:For all ye daughters, to make you realize that “maa bhi kabhi beti thee” (mother was a daughter) and “beti bhi kabhi maa banegi” (daughter shall be a mother some day!)

For fathers:I see the confusion in you – I am a parent too, so what is it that makes mothers a wee bit more special? Find out after reading the book.

For sons: Read it to know why your mother spends sleepless nights when you are busy partying or late from work, what makes her so fussy and emotional.

To cut the long story short, it is one of the finest books that talks of relation between mother and child.

Shobha! You added 1 more to your fan list!