~~ Krazy Kiya Re ~~. Review on Serials produced by Ekta Kapoor

*Serials by Ekta

Are composed of nothing but Fake-ta

Where you see the heroines filled with momentary nek-ta

And families united with a false show of Ekta(unity)

Wait! Don’t run away, the review might yet turn out to be useful to you…I know I am bad at poetry but nothing wrong with trying it for once or twice(okay I won’t try it another time in this review, just to save you the torture of reading my verses!)

Coming back to daily shampoos–er-daily soaps produced by Kalaji – I mean Balaji Telefilms(need to keep my funny bone under control!), almost each and every television channel is flooded with serials produced by Ekta Kapoor, most of them being family dramas with thousands of new characters pouring in every new day, with long-lost relations popping up every single episode, with marriages and engagements happening all through the day, with those court scenes where you see the protagonists entering the court room just before the verdict to save the day, someone having an accident or being killed, a big jig in time, and all other kind of trash things happening in one single episode.

Yes, the daily soaps produced by Ekta Kapoor are those Saas-Bahu serials where you expect to see some Saas-bahu tu-tu-main-main but all you get to see is everything except the saas-bahu knok-jhok(obviously because the Saas or the Bahu is just too busy playing the righteous, judicious, ethical and the sugar-spice-and-everything nice-type heroine! Phew!).

Some K(C)ommon  Key-factors of the K-Ekta serials are:

*The K-factor:

*If you don’t already know about the K-Factor of the K-serials produced by Ekta Kapoor, you must be a blinking fool! Still I will tell you about this exceptional K-factor which always leads to the success of not only the KJ movies or the RR movies but also to the success of the K-Ekta serials(so what if not to the success of the K-Ekta horror movies?!). Yes all the serials produced by Ekta Kapoor start with “K” even if the use of “K” is pointless, it would still be used, for instance “Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi” – God knows what she was thinking of before naming it like this…as if we asked for a reason why her serial is the way it is!

The Rich Joint Family:

The story always builds up around rich families where new members are added every single week, be it Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki, Kusum, Kumkum, Kahin Toh Hoga or any other K-serial, this is a prime Key factor.

The Multiple Marriage Disorder:

Almost all the characters suffer from this incurable disease.All of the family members keep marrying, get engaged or at least get involved in silly love affairs every second thing and then a big rift occurs in the family regarding this catastrophe but in the end everything comes back to normal, with the second husband or wife disappearing without reason, just as she/he appeared without any reason! For instance: Mihir-Mandira-Tulsi, Karan-Tania-Ansh-Nandini-Another guy(I don’t know what his name is!); Kashish-Piush-Sujal-Swayam-Tushar(who later turned out to be Sujal!)-Gayantri-Archita-Archie-Mr.Alhuwalia-And Kashish got engaged two or three times more(I don’t remember the names); Prerna- Anurag-Mr.Bajaj, etc.etc.There are so many people affected with this contagious disease that one review is not enough to cite examples!

The J(G)eneration Jump:

After watching one of the K-serials for some months, one fine day you stare at your television screen with your mouth wide open, unable to believe what you are watching…yes the serial gave a huge leap in time(mostly it’s always a leap of twenty years). All the characters turn into – Mummy, Papa, Nana, Nani, Dada, Dadi - all of a sudden and even then, they don’t look a day older! I wonder how old “Ba” of Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi must be now, with more than two Generation Jumps that occurred in the serial!

*The Plastic Surgery trick:

*Be aware of these tricks…one of the characters in the serial have an accident or is pushed off a cliff or bridge or just disappears all of a sudden and then another new character is added to this gem of a serial. And after a lot of this and that for some months, the great secret is revealed - that the new character is the one who fell off the cliff or something, and is back for revenge(a fool you must be if you are unable to look right through this trick the first time you see the new character!).Cases of this have been reported many times…Tushar turns out to be Sujal – Kahin Toh Hoga, Priyanka turns out to be Mandira – Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi bahu Thi, Mallika turns out to be Shruti - Koi Apna Sa(okay I can’t recall anymore names)!

*The Age-Doesn’t-Matter Attitude:

*No, I am not talking about the “She is 18. He is 60.” thing(Get a grip on your imagination!). In most of the K-series it is noticed that the parents keep marrying even after the marriage of their children, and in some cases even after their grandchildren reach their marital ages(Mihir, with his grandson Lakshya hoping to marry KT, was still in the process of getting married to Mira when Good Ol' Tulsi stopped this happy event from occurring!).

*The Disappearing Act:

*If you notice carefully, then many of the characters disappear without leaving any trace of their existence behind them. Nope they are not even killed, yet they vanish…you can take Karishma’s disappearance for instance or Indu’s disappearance – Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, or Archie’s or Archita’s disappearance – Kahin Toh Hoga. Enough for examples- I can’t put any more stress on my mind for remembering such absurdity!

*The Krazy Dialogues:

*Imagine before you are about to shoot someone, you politely explain the reason for killing that person and the guy who is to be shot listens to you with all the patience in the world! Imagine yourself always being philosophical about everything that goes on, in and around you and comparing your family members with some legendary character.Imagine Tulsi and Mihir being compared to Ram and Sita, Karan being compared to Karna of Mahabharat, Ekalavya being compared to Ekalavya of Mahabharat…sometimes these high sounding dialogues make me think that someday you might see that all the K-serials have turned into epics and would be read in each and every house in place of the Gita or the Ramayan and the Mahbharat! Complete idiocy!

Lack of Sense and Sensibility:

All these K-Serials lack this factor and the lack of this factor is in reality the real reason to the popularity of the K-serials.One girl or one guy marries what seems like thousand times in these serials, the scene of someone slapping someone else is repeated say more than a thousand times, people are killed or kidnapped so foolishly, the sudden show of morality by the central character which disappears in the next episode, and half the time the working men of the house are seen in the house only(!), solving the trivial problems of the other members and a lot of other crappy things go on in the serials which lack sensibility to the last bit!

Continued in comments.