Date: 2nd November 2003 Time: 6:55 am Venue: My bedroom
(Comb in my mouth, one hand filled with lecture’s notes, still half-asleep, I was valiantly pushing the metal atomiser to get some fragrance out of my good-n-gentle Hugo bottle with my free hand. Realisation dawned sometime later when I saw mom staring at me with a plate of tuna sandwiches and giggling.)
Ma: Its empty Sunny. Wake up!
Me :(pretending nothing’s happened) Ya, I know Ma! Was checking for some last drops!
Ma: I sometimes doubt you drink those scents. We just got it last month betoo!
Me: Its better than gulping down gallons of water day after day anyways.
Ma: (noticing the sarcasm in my tone and again giggling) So you want a new one?
Me: I can’t stay without one you know.
Ma: I know, I know. I’ll get it today, okay? Want to join me after college?
Me: (remembering the aches and the screams of my arms from holding shopping bags) I can’t be bothered. Just get me anything except Hugo. Had enough of that fruity fragrance.
Ma: (in her lecture mode) Right. Have your breakfast now and for heaven’s sake try getting more organised. Can’t you arrange those notes yesterday night?
Me: You know I was working till late Ma.
A kiss, a hug, a bye. Waiting for the bus I giggle at myself of being so dependent on Ma. And on the fact that she knows my choice so perfectly, so precisely. Giggle.
Time: 7:20 pm Venue: Our living room
Me: Did you get any perfume for me?
Ma: Ah yes, get it from my dressing table.
I rush to the cupboard with the eagerness of a Hindi film groom awaiting to see his companion on the nuptial night (how filmi!). My partner (ahem.. perfume) came veiled in a classy bottle-green cardboard cutis with a gold delimitation and a gaudy gold man on a horseback playing polo with a swinging mallet in the centre. It said below the hooves of the horse –
P-o-l-o f-o-r M-e-n (The fact that it was a Ralph Lauren only made me eager to try it). Though the text outside was minimalistic (quite contrary to the flashy and flattering texts of today’s labelled fragrances), I was thoroughly stunned by the price (£45). Rushing back to the living room,
Me: Ma, that’s £45 for 4 oz. I could have got one CK Masculine and two books in that much money.
Ma: Books won’t make you smell better and you have used CK Masculine before. This is special. You first try it and then speak.
Obediently, I quickly unfolded the cardboard pack (at this point, must add that the packaging is quite outdated and the design seems to have remained unaltered for decades), I took out the heavy hard-glass bottle (Yup, it’s the same in the picture above with the same gold cap and green stomach), plopped open the cap and sniffed the sprayer. Ma was observing all this with curious eyes awaiting acknowledgement.
Ma: Any good?
Me: (Going misty-eyed by inhaling the teeny sprinkle on the skin above my radial artery): This is exactly what I wanted. Its so edgy, bold, tense yet so stimulating. Superb Ma.. I love it! Its just too good!
Ma: I knew you would like it! (She giggles her excited chortle yet again, and I can’t help joining in the titter. Oh these giggles!).
Next Day, Time: 11:05 pm Venue: My bedroom (shared with a sister who doesn’t get exhausted by poking her ever-busy nose, Dimple)
Dimple (from the upper bunk): Veerjee, see I got the box of your perfume.
Me (typing away on my computer and as always amused by her childishness): So?
Dimple: See, it says here “eau de toilette”. What does that mean? You can’t use it outside the toilet?
Me: Err.. it’s a French word meaning toilet water which means its lighter than colognes.
Dimple: (now giggling) Oh! And it says “Do not spray on a naked flame or any incandescent material.” What would happen if we do spray? Will there be a loud explosion?
Me: Think so. Achcha, now stop asking stupid questions and find the place where it says about notes.
Dimple (Amusingly obedient): It says it’s a herbal woody blend with dominant notes from the finest of Basil, Chamomile, Tobacco, Patchouli, Oakmoss thus mixing the very best of wood, leather and other natural scents to convey a handsome, enduring character.
Me (still thinking): No wonder, it smells of another world.
Dimple (back in her question mode): So how many girls actually drooled on your perfume today?
Me: And how does that bother you. Just go to sleep.
Dimple: You know it’s the same perfume that Pierce Brosnan and Vivek Oberoi dab.
Me: Dimple, stop bugging me.
(Pushing her quilt over her face, and snatching my perfume box, I return back to my computer, but can still hear Dimple giggling. Oh these giggles!)
4th November, Venue: College’s Finance Office
Me: I think I am going to the Psychology conference next month. Here’s the money.
Carol: Right, gentleman. Just wait a minute (the lady was funnily sniffing the air around me). You smell great. Could you just write me the name (Handing over a sticky-pad)
Me (Baffled by her asking for my name, but continuing anyway): Thanks. Here’s the name.
Carol: (Reading my name) I have never heard of this before. Where do you get it?
Me: What?
Carol: (Pointing at the just-written slip) This cologne!
Me: (Realising what a dumbo I am). That’s my name lady. Here’s the cologne’s name.
Carol: (on getting the slip, giggles) Thanks darling. I might get some for my husband.
She giggles. I giggle on coming out at the goof-up. Oh these giggles!
.::My Last Word::.
Just get this one if you are one of those living-on-the-edge types. It’s a signature fragrance that’s very crisp, very spicy, very hardy, highly stimulating, gushing, rushing, bold, upfront conformed by the strong middle notes which also lends amazing wearibility to it (A tiny spray on the carotid pulse, i.e. on the neck, develops a strong aroma capable of lasting a whole day at stretch). A very violent base and ferociously hot woody undertones only add that requisite touch of masculinity to the essence. Easily my all-time favourites.
Ah yes, forgot about those giggles… they have continued since compliments from fellow bus/tube passengers, relatives, friends haven’t abated. My reaction… I just giggle through all of them… my way of brushing off them! Believe me, giggling and applying Polo are one of the best things happened to me of late.
A giggling piece of advice: Its always better to ask a female (mom, wife, girlfriend) to accompany you (or better still shop for you) whenever you go on fragrance-hunting for you can’t get a better judge for a men’s perfume.
Waiting for your scented comments…. Brickbats or roses.. I’ll giggle through them!
