* Uncle pape ne newspaper lane ko kaha hai …aacha, aur kya kaha hai papa ne? …….papa ne kaha hai ki agar kamina Khanna newspaper na de toh Chopra ke ghar chale jana
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- Welcome to the world of a newspaper junkie .Here’s a man who’s obsessed with newspapers .His day begins with a newspaper in his hands and throughout the day he clinches to it like a faithful…husband? The doom-sayers predicted that the days of newspapers are all but over with the advent of innumerable news-channels, that the electronic media has an extra plus in entertainment value .Defying all predictions the print media is growing at a brisk rate .It has been and always remain the medium for those interested in news rather than entertainment and it surely saves us of the sight of those news-anchors who think that they are more important than the news!
This is a Live-in interview – Face-off, anchored by karan Thapar(KT) and he will be interviewing a newspaper junkie Happy Singh(HS), feel free to throw sundry questions at him .
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KT: Welcome to our show .
HS: Thanks . Tell me why do you wear the same shirt all the time, shirt-ology of something like that? and tell you what, you should dye your hairs .81, till you Dye.
KT: Let’s skirt that shirt question .We’d like to test your IQ first .
HS: What IQ – EQ man! You guys keep asking all sorts of Qs Aakhir Q?.anyways, go ahead with your question.
KT: What is ti which has over 20-25 pages, which comes with the same title everyday and is of no use the day after?
HS: Tough question . Well I don’t know .
KT; It’s newspaper! simple . Ok, next question – what is it which has over 50 pages, which comes with the same title everyday and is of no use the day after?
HS: Tougher . I don’t know, sorry sir.
KT: Well Mr Happy singh ji, 2 newspapers, simple! Ok, third and last question. Who’s the president of US of A?
HS: Yeah . I know this one . 3 newspapers, right?
KT: Somehow you have managed to qualify for the interview . I write a column for HT –Sunday sentiments, so naturally I prefer HT . What about you?
HS; I prefer my Neighbour’s newspaper who in turn prefers TOI .
KT; So you read TOI the tabloid, can you say ‘something’ in English?
HS:, Trying to fool me, eh? ‘something’ already is an English word .
KT: What is the extent of your obsession for the newspaper?
HS: Every morning, me and my wife fight over who’s gonna read the newspaper first and I ain’t scared of my wife so I say her in clear words - * ye mera ghar hai, yahan main jo chahunga wohi hogaand that is Semifinal.
KT: Can you delve a bit on the importance of newspapers?
HS: Ya sure . I’ll give you a detailed explanation .
[a] You can use it as a sword to fight mosquitoes, very effective .
[b] Suppose you are going with your gf and all of a sudden you find your wife marching towards you, you can hide your face with the newspaper or better still pape apne biwi ke aankhon ke samne newspaper daal dethat will give you gf enough time to flee.
[c] While at home you can pretend reading newspaper to fend-off your quarrelsome wife .
KT: Kindly continue …
HS: And frankly newspaper helped me bring out my ’aandar ka kalakar’ you know ye aandar ke baat hai.Everyday in my office I meticulously draw moustache, beard, mole et.all on various photograph and slip it in my co-workers’ files while they are out to lunch . It’s great fun!
KT: Ok , so kindly explain this news-article for us .
HS: *ye aache baat nahi haiOur PM in angry at J.P.Dutta who’s taking forver to complete his magnum Oops LoC .Bush tries to intervene in this LoC thing but our Pm firmly rejects the notion of third party mediation.Furthermore, our PM has clarified that he is ready to talk to PR(Public relation) Mushraff- *kahin bhi, kabhi bhi(Ekta are you taking note?)and that they will be soon burying the hatchet forever, preferably in each-others head .
Though I’m unable to understand this particular line, it reads – ‘We’hv not tolerated terrorism for the past 20 years and we won’t tolerate in future either ‘. I think it’s a Bushism.
KT: When did you realize first that you have become a NPJ newspaper junkie).
HS: On my ‘Best girl-friend’s weeding’ . Just imagine, it was my wedding day and I was busy reading newspaper!
KT: So you are addicted to newspaper . The columns you like the most .
HS: Weather forecast . When they say no rain I never forget to take my umbrella with me .
Your day today . everyday it makes you believe that you are going to slap your boss without being thrown out of the office .
Cartoons .Garfield-The most beautiful cat and other regulars . The only Humane-element in the newspapers .
KT: What else?
HS: Everyday the newspapers try their level best to convince you that the world is in a terrible mess and you look around to find that the world is not that bad, actually it’s quite good . And you thank God and the newspaper-wallahs to reinforce you believe .
And you read ‘You said it’ by some maverick R.K.Laxman and you realize that With death all around a good joke is still a good joke.
This and much more .
KT: Thanks a lot happy Singh ji, it was a pleasure to have you on our show .
HS: ye toh mera farz tha.Thanks a lot .Phir milenge -Ok, tata, horn please bure nazar wale tera mu kala
