Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus!. Review on Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus - John Gray

‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’by John Gray –

The book was published in 1992 and the author had gained a huge fan following immediately after it came out which gave a theory that men and women came from different planets – men from Mars, women from Venus, and were meant to meet and communicate here on planet Earth. This classic book is on relationships between men and women and a ‘must read’ for anyone who is serious about improving communication and understanding in a relationship. Such a situation demanded an effort by both to understand the differences between them, says the author. When Martians (or men) actually learn to decipher what their spouses or girlfriends are trying to tell them in Venusian (or feminine terms), life can get a lot better and relationships with satisfaction of both partners, instead of muddling along in painful fits and starts. A crucial premise of this book is that we should love our partners in the way they want to be loved, rather than the way in which we want to be loved!

This is a fact that when we try too hard to emphasize the equality of the sexes, we lose sight of some critical factors. Whether we like it or not, men and women are different not so much in ability, as in approach. A man has a different attitude to problems – he is all for solving them with some quick action. A woman may take time to just consider the whole thing – she may not even want the whole thing to be solved before it is due! Such differences have a definite impact on communication. If we read this book with an open mind, we are likely to find many useful pointers in the right direction.

John Gray’s work has made famous by now the concept of ‘the cave’ for men and ‘the wave’ for women. Although this part of his work is the one most under attack by feminists for gender equality, many of whom accuse him of creating fresh stereotypes around men and women, which is also very significant. When men go into their cave, they are actually going through a phase of their relationship with a woman, when they want to be left alone. Any woman who has wondered why a boyfriend is not e mailing/calling/messaging/meeting her will know what it feels like to be shut out of the cave.

Women and ‘the wave’ is a concept even more resented – it means that women go through periodic phases when they are unable to keep up their spirits without help and assistance from understanding men. At such times, ‘the wave’ crashes, and it needs to be given love and reassurance to rise up again with its usual confidence. In fact, I find, John Gray does portray women to be the strong, resilient creatures. It is only his recommendations of how women should make sure they get their way – underlining a certain manipulative streak, which might have troubled feminists.

The book teaches how to communicate with your partner in a language he or she understands, and to do that, you must wave goodbye to politically correct theories and concentrate on the real life situations you have experienced. Do they ring true with the scenario described in the book? If even a few of them do, then, I suggest, don’t hesitate, adopt the strategies of the book in good faith!

The book has been such a bestseller that an Indian edition is available for Rs. 150/- or so. The book – ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ is illuminated by a wonderful style of writing, and more importantly, the truth of life.

-- Prad Ratnaparkhi