Jul 17, 2007 01:38 PM
41524 Views
Hi. I'm a cockroach. I've been on this planet longer than any of you. I've rubbed shoulders with dinosaurs and even your fore fathers. They never complained and cribbed. It was all about living. and letting live.
But you lot. you're horrible. You H. Sapiens hate us because we dont grow hair or use lipstick. And you hate us because of the way we look and smell. Have some of you smelt yourselves? And did you know that if we touch one of you by mistake, we need to have an hour long shower to forget about it?
Consumed by hatred, you and your ilk have decided to wage war against us, the roaches. Like you destroy everything else around you, you wanna eradicate us innocent insects too. For that you start blending chemicals and creating toxic products that:
and now. you have this CHALK. this LAKSHMAN REKHA thing. this. this vile. OH I HATE YOU ALL!
(the roach shows his middle finger and walks away in disgust)
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The Lakshman Rekha Roach Repellent
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Hello, I'm a user of this incredible product and my name is Shanta Behen. I had solid'cockroach' and'henroach' problems at my household. So I used this great product called Lakshman Rekha.
What I did was. I took this chalk. and I drew some areas on the floor. And then I stood in the middle and started taunting the cockroaches. Finally one cockroach came to me.
Shanta Behen:NEECH. KAMEENE(for the non-hindi speaking public. treat these as non-four letter abuses)
Roach: Shanta Behen. mein aa raha hoon. teri(the roach threatens to kick Shanta Behen's backside)
Shanta Behen:Dusht Cockroach. tu woh lakshman rekha paar kar. dekh loongi(loosely translated using an online translator: cross the frickin line you retard roach)
The roach stares at the line. He knows that it's a trap. a certified death trap. The roach ponders on how he can get to the other side. then. an idea hits him smack on his face.
He takes a matchstick. holds it up. runs 100 centimeters. plonks the matchstick on the ground. and does a pole vault over the LAKSHMAN REKHA.
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Now. the Lakshman Rekha TV ad
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Washing Powder Nirma. oops. wrong ad.
The ad shows a Roach sitting in the corner of the room and smoking a Beedi. A lady walks in and sees it. she goes. SHRIEKKKKKKKKKK. Suddenly a salesman comes through the front door wearing an orange coloured langot(a popular Indian underwear that lost its popularity to popular western underwear). He takes out the Lakshman Rekha Chalk and draws lines all over the place. The roach gets irritated. stares at the orange colour langot for a minute. goes colour blind. and runs away screaming.
The lady hugs the salesman and they break into a song.
WHETHER ITS A YOUNG OR OLD ROACH
WHEN THEY START TO ENCROACH
DRAW THE LINE
DRAW THE LINE
WITH LAKSHMAN REKHA SO FINE!
end of commercial
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Whats the point of this review?
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Hi, I'm psyxx. Just because I wrote on a subject and didn't put the chemical composition of the product or explain the 256 millions odd patterns you can draw with a chalk, doesn't mean that the review didn't convey a message. In fact this review has more information than National Geographic and Discovery channels put together.
Through this review you learnt that:
The cockroach has been around for millions of years
It's probably the only thing that can survive a nuclear holocaust
The cockroach's scientific name varies from roach to roack(wow! even I didnt know that). for example. er. no examples.
and finally.
Lakshman Rekha is a decent solution for cockroach woes
If you are a cockroach fan. here's a site for you: https://bio.umass.edu/biology/kunkel/cockroach_faq.html
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The Final Say
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Just practice some cleanliness and don't leave food lying around. It's better to have clean surroundings than to mess it up and then start nuking and poisoning everything that moves around. just because you were tardy.
~finis~
LET THE NU's FLOW!
