Jun 20, 2007 10:54 PM
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I was just an ordinary monkey living on a remote island, aptly named Skull Island - the natives who lived there were numbSKULLs. My life was all fun and frolic. I munched on giant sized bananas, swung from tree to tree, leaped all over the place and kicked the living #&@^&# out of any critter that dared to challenge me. No wonder they called me. KING KONG.
Skull Island was a nice place that was like an island that time forgot. Massive carnivores and herbivores lurked the land and the tribals usually ended up as dinner for a dinosaur or two. As for the tribals, they had limited vocabulary and even limited hygiene(and they say I had bad breath).
One day, a bunch of retards came to my island to shoot a film. Not only did they upset the applecart but they even made my life difficult. Once they laid their eyes on me. these evil pipsqueaks wanted to take me back to their own land and treat me like an artefact. like some sort of trained chimp in a circus.
That's when the tribal clowns decided to capture this crew and sacrifice them to me. I like sacrifices as long as it isn't me that's making them. So, I thumped my chest to impress the tribal chicks, threw a tantrum and went to see what the big deal was about the sacrifice. And. lo and behold.
My eyes fell on this tiny human babe. She had golden hair and. nevermind. I decided to keep her for myself. So I bashed everything in my path. grabbed the human babe. and left.
Who would have thought that a skyscraper sized ape like me would fall for a girl who wasn't even as big as my little finger. There goes my heart and my sex life. groan.
And those little people. they didn't let my love life blossom. They wanted to take her away from me. They hunted me. They taunted me. They tormented me. Well, they are idiots because I weigh a few tons and the scent from my arm pits is enough to knock a whole army unconscious.
Well. things went on and on. the plot thickened. eventually they got me all drowsy and carted me to the city - Gnu York. er. New York. There. I snapped out of my stupour. created a lot of damage. and eventually climbed the Empire States Building(I saw a board that said Empire States Building. otherwise. it looked like a weird looking tree to me) with the golden haired human babe(GHHB for short) in hand.
Over there, I was attacked by weird looking metal dragonflies and eventually I lost my balance and fell several feet down.
and now. I sit on a cloud playing a harp.
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King Kong(2005)
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The new edition of this cult flick is in every aspect, the best. Director Peter Jackson(the Lord of the Rings and The Frightners dude) squeezes blood out of a turnip and reinterprets the tale of the large monkey and how love transcends everything. lending it his own inimitable style. The movie is a stunning blend of visuals - both CGI and otherwise and stars Naomi Watts as the object of Kong's affection.
The rest of the cast consists of Jack Black(the School Of Rock dude), Adrien Brody etc.
So what's in this movie? Plenty of nail biting sequences, a romance, lot's of prehistoric creatures and. Peter Jackson. This man's in the Spielberg league.
The 1933 original is also worth a watch but King Kong 2005 takes the tale to an all new level.
Finally.
THEY KILLED KING KONG.(I'm gonna break down and cry now.)
~finis~
