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Joshilaay - Bollywood Image

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75%
2 

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mumbai india
'JHOSHILEY' - The Biggest Flop of Bollywood
Apr 22, 2003 01:13 PM 2255 Views
(Updated Apr 22, 2003 01:13 PM)

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An all time great flop film needs everything that this film had. I see images of the producer Sibte Hassan Rizvi (his latest mindless offering was the Govinda starrer “Chalo Ishq Ladayein”), Baba Azmi, Jaaved Akhtar sitting together trying to conceive a film. It’s mid-80s and the wounds of Salim-Jaaved split are fresh. Baba says: “Tell me Jaavedbhai you can’t write a ‘Sholay’ on your own or what? You can… yes you can.” Jaaved saab hums and haws while his would be brother-in-law eggs him on to write another Sholay. Rizvi – the fool with the money is also charged up by the prospect of repeating box-office success story of the biggest Hindi film ever made. And Baba’s dream of finally showing what a great cinematographer he is, just being fresh out of FTII, is going to come true. “Who should direct the Film?” Shekhar Kapoor’s name is popped up and promptly approved. “He’s the Hollywood type guy… very brainy… that’s what these new kids are… Nasir swears by his name after ‘Masoom’ have you seen it?” All the attractions of Sholay are garnished in the cauldron. Anil Kapoor is chosen to do a role similar to Bachchhan’s and who else but Sunny-the Punjaabi Puttar is asked to do what his father did in the reference film. Like Amjad Khan in Sholay, a fresh theatre actor Rajesh Vivek (Yes he’s the weirdo in ‘Lagaan’ who has long beard and hair – same guy in 'paanch yaani chhota coke' commercial with Aamir) is roped in to be the new dacoit-villain. For the girls there’s Sridevi to become Hema Malini and Meenakshi Sheshadri in another oomphless ice-maiden avatar.


The best of the technical talent including Waman-Guru for editing (who’ll later on see the first rushes and pull their hair in frustration) is hired for this mega venture. The whole crew goes to Ladakh for an extensive outdoor schedule and battles with bad weather and hardest of living conditions, in tune with the whims of the fanatic whizkid director. Against Baba’s advice Shekhar insists shooting at a time when the sun is right overhead and the light is totally uncontrollable (No wonder, in half the film Sunny and Anil who are actually very fair, look like colored folks). Also Shekhar makes unreasonable demands like 80 horses for a scene, which Rizvi just can’t fulfill because there are hardly any horses in Ladakh. Finally 30 horses are given to Shekhar and he shoots the scenes cribbing all the way. By the time the schedule is done everyone is sick and tired and want to come back to Bombay. Rizvi wants the footage to develop hoping that he’s got some great stuff, which will help him raise more money from the financers as they are already over budget. But in Bombay they are all in for a shock. Shekhar sees the footage first with Waman-Guru and understands that they don’t have a film in their hands. Being the smart one, he walks out blaming Rizvi for poor production values before Rizvi can see the footage and chuck him out. The project is shelved.


Baba Azmi and Jaaved Saab panic. “What’s this? We were going to make another ‘Sholay’! This film Has to be made!” Even Anil and Sunny are bothered. A joint meeting is arranged to salvage the project. They all urge Rizvi to complete the project. “But who’ll direct?” Rizvi asks… “You!” someone quips in, winking at others behind Rizvi’s back. “ You just need to say action and cut… Baba will take care of everything else… no Baba?” “Of course” Baba is prompt. But there’s a new problem now. Sridevi and Meenakshi who were practically unknown when signed, have suddenly become big heroines and have no dates for Rizvi. Again Anil and Sunny mediate and ask the girls to cooperate. They do so and the next schedule is fixed. The boys (Anil and Sunny) banking heavily on Rizvi’s big film are leaving behind a band of other producers screaming and pulling their hair as schedules in Bombay are stranded mid-way.


Finally, after a long ordeal the shooting stops… lots of patchwork is done in Bombay and then a time comes when the money runs out. “Now…” Rizvi says to Waman-Guru, the editor duo, “This is all I have… Just put it together to make some sense” Waman-Guru do their job honestly and the film is released bearing Rizvi’s name as the director, although more than half of it is canned by Shekhar Kapoor. What happened with the collections is history. This biggest of all Sholay clones crashed like a house of cards within the first week – one of the biggest, hugest flops of all time. The film is actually not so bad if you see it with the perspective of what they all were set out to do. I’ve laughed through the film quite a couple of times…. Laughter is the only reaction it evokes out of me.


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