September 13, 2004. 05:40 hrs, Outside Jet Airways Terminal, Domestic Airport, Mumbai
I had an important flight to catch. A lifeless me with dark circles under the eyes was frantically rushing with a luggage trolley into the Jet Airways Terminal with “The” omnipresent Maddy bellowing “Goodbye” in my ears. “Don’t leave. Wait here till I get my boarding pass and once I confirm that, you can leave”, I instructed him.
September 13, 2004. 06:25 hrs, Outside Jet Airways Terminal, Domestic Airport, Mumbai
I stepped out of the terminal to behold Maddy lumbering up with that ever-smiling visage of his. “Congratulations!”, Maddy-as-mad-can-be-lalya thundered. Here was a classic example of unintended intentions unintentionally coming from him with the intention of cheering me up. If you’re wondering as to what happened in the space of those 45 minutes that changed his mode of addressal from “Goodbye” to “Congratulations”, you’ve guessed right, I had missed the damn flight!
“Welcome to my circle of friends who are notorious for missing their transportation, especially when on cannot-be-cancelled trips”, he said. I wish I could confidently assert that I would be the last, but with our friend around, unexpected things often have a knack of just happening.
During the space of those incident-filled, 45 minutes, I had a verbal tiff with the airways personnel at the X-ray scanning machine, almost fractured an unsuspecting passengers knee by crashing the luggage trolley into him, cooked a well-made story about the luggage I was carrying, (which should technically have been in the Cargo Hold but which I wanted to carry as Cabin Baggage), dropped my mobile on the floor with the hind cover going in one direction and the rest of the phone (in 1 piece) going in another, explained the thin line of difference between “goods meant for sale” and “goods meant for charity” to half a dozen personnel of Jet.
Yeah, and I forgot to mention the episode of an elderly army gentleman in front of me in the queue who was arguing with the staff for his fundamental right of carrying a small pair of scissors in his shaving kit as he had to trim his carefully bred and cultivated “hanicured” mustache, as he had been doing for the last 40 years of his life. Last heard, he was threatening to write a strongly worded letter to Mr. Naresh Goyal (Chairman, Jet Airways).
The icing on the cake was at the Boarding Pass issue counter. I had spent a good 15 minutes waiting for the 5 gentlemen in front of me to get their passes issued and when I handed over my ticket, the lady took one look at my ticket and exclaimed, “Hyderabad!” (as though it was Timbuktoo), please go to the last counter for the Hyderabad flight (mind you, this counter was unmarked). This is what happened thereafter..
Do you have any baggage to be checked in?
No Ma’am..only 1 piece of Cabin Baggage”.
What does it contain?
Cassettes & CD’s.
Are you absolutely sure it contains nothing else? In any case, it cannot be taken as Cabin Baggage.
Why not? I’m sure you don’t have any guidelines as to what comprises Cabin baggage and what doesn’t.
Exasperated, she quickly wandered off in search of her superior and returned after 5 minutes and said “Sir, You can’t take this luggage to Hyderabad”.
Why Not Ma’am? If there’s a problem, I’ll speak to your superior and get it cleared.
No Sir, what I mean to say is that neither you nor your luggage can catch the 06:25 flight because the Boarding has been completed and the doors have been shut. You may check at the ticket counter outside if there are any seats available for the next flight.
All of a sudden I had this strong urge to yawn loudly into her superior’s face, but felt it's a waste of energy unless he could see me do it. Let's face it, if I was not yawning directly into his face, I was going to miss out on getting even..I would be cheated!
Here I was at the Terminal..a good 40 minutes before the flight departure, the personnel waste my time by asking stupid “investigative” questions about my luggage, make me wait for 15 minutes in the queue before telling me to move on to another counter and finally they “delight” me by telling that the boarding has been completed and I can take the next available flight!
These guys give a new dimension to the word “Customer Servicing”, don’t they? I’d really like to have a look at all those ISO certifications and quality awards they claim to have won. If they can goof up on such small things, good old Indian Railways is better anyday.
Utterly disgusted, I called Maddy on his mobile to check if he was still waiting for me outside the Terminal. The idiot said, ‘I’m on my way back home..halfway through”. When I briefly explained what had happened, he returned back to fetch me. (A greater adventure lay ahead, Maddy’s car had just had its first puncture when we set off form my house to the airport and the antics of a new car owner, who is replacing the punctured tyre for the first time in his life in drizzling rain and poring sweat with an apprentice like me giving his directions on how to go about it, will be covered in another review).
As for these Jet guys, it’s a good thing their top honchos are based all the way in New Delhi. They just got saved, for if they were within a reasonable driving distance, we’d have been inclined to cruise over and slap the entire lot around for the shoddy antics of their staff. Watch this space for the ATR (Action Taken Report).
As for my rating, I still recommend Jet Airways because I’ve flown it countless times..all without a hassle. As I always say, in the services industry, it would be a miracle if no goofups happen at all. I take my experience in the spirit that the “law of averages” finally caught up with me and hope that this chain of events does not recur.
