HDFC BANK
Opening an Account drove me insane
My Mumbai associate Rajat requested me to open an account with HDFC Bank in Pune for quicker money transfers as SBI operations were not suiting him. I thought that was a reasonable request and proceeded to HDFC branch at Pune, on 09 May.
Paper Work: 09 May
On 09 May, assisted by an HDFC staffer, I filled up the application form with all enclosures that they needed. They said I will have the Account No, checkbook and ATM/Debit card 13 May.
13 May
No account opened. The Branch Manager gave me some Tele No for further enquires and follow up.
This number was quite useless. A voice activated Number. It said “After the beep dial 1 for Marathi, 2 for English……”
I was furious. I went to the Manger again and told him firmly that I need to talk to a an HDFC HUMAN BEING not some crazy auto voice. He eventually gave me a number of a senior HDFC man. I called the number The HDFC human being gentleman heard my story and promised to personally follow up with their Mumbai office. He apologised for the delay.
I thought aplogising was a great idea. I too apologized to my Mumbai associate Rajat and kept following up with the HDFC human being.
Till 19 May, no account number. On 21 May, this senior HDFC human being informed me that the they had sent the application form to Mumbai but the courier company had lost my application form along with 20 others!!
Pronto he sent two smart MBA Executives to my house within the hour with new forms. They assured me that my case was on top of the agenda with HDFC Pune /Mumbai.
22 May: No Joy
These smart Executives gave me some massive cock and bull stories about the delay in opening the account and said I would get e-banking, sms alerts, accounts on mobile, internet banking, stock market info demat etc. I put up my hand and said:
“Listen friends. Forget internet/phone banking. You were to give me an account number on 13 May. Today is 22 May. In this period I could have opened 10 accounts in 10 different banks in Pune city. Just get me an Account number first. Then we talk later of this and that. My biz associates in Mumbai suspect that I am deliberately procrastinating opening an account! “
Then I told them a story.
I said, “ In 1960, in my Grandfathers village, the first bank opened. I was only 9 years old them. There was a lot of excitement in the village. A big manpad had been put up. People had gathered in a few hundreds.
Two local people operated the Bank, the clerk was only 7th class passed and the Manager was just a Matriculate. My Grandpa was the only Doctor within a radius of 60 kms so he was a big shot and he also owned a Model T Ford Motor car!. He got his bank account opened manually in just 3 hrs flat. Next day all villagers had their accounts and passbooks delivered. Today, 45 years later, we have MBA’s like you two whiz kids, Internet, hi tech systems and yet in this age of speed of light operations, HDFC bank cannot open an account? What kind of operations are you running?”
They hung their heads in shame and promised me the moon!
After filling up the forms once again, I said let me deliver this to HDFC Mumbai for further processing as their courier company may loose the papers again. The kid MBAs said “No no Saaar, we will do it through DHL this time. Only for you exclusively.”
“When will I get an account number?”
“Saar, positively by 26 May.”
26 May
No account number. Rajat my biz associate was furious.
He said, “Nandu, yaar HDFC Pune kaa koi bhi account number, relative ya friend kaa dena, so that I can deposit the cheque and clear the funds from my account here no later than 30 May, nahi to audit me hum phas jaayenge. . Please yaar, kuch to karo.”
I called the MBA tie wearing kids of HDFC Bank. “What is the problem?” They said “Computer systems had crashed at Mumbai last three days! So big back log from all over India!! “
I asked these MBA HDFC whiz kids. “Do you have an account in HDFC?”
“Yes sir, we do.”
“What is your account number? I need to get xxx thous transferred to your account temporarily.”
“No saar, cannot be done!”
I was furious furious. I went personally to the Manager again. I said I need to have an account number of HDFC Pune, any number TODAY!
With some hesitation, and a few calls later he did give me an account number, called HDFC Dummy Account! Pronto I informed Rajat. He was shocked. “Dummy account? Kiskaa dummy?”
MY TOURTURE DID NOT END. But that is a long story.
Just to get an account opened I had to wait a further week, total about a month from the date of my initial application!
I must admit though, the Pune lads put a lot of pressure on Mumbai HDFC operations department and were not to blame. But they never had the courtesy to even call me once on their own. I must have spent a good 1000 bucks on phone calls, SMS’s. They never replied to my SMS’s.
Once my account had been opened, I had to make repeated calls and a week later they transferred the funds from the dummy account to my account!
Fortunately the ATM operations are fine and I do get a statement through the Internet.
As for Demat, people may like to check out Kotak.
