Sep 08, 2003 01:31 PM
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(Updated Sep 08, 2003 01:34 PM)
The Who's who of the stress-givers and ways to handle them .
Your Boss - Your Boss is a strange creature, he wants you to work!while you believe'work is war-ship'.You are yearning for some'chain ke saans - Boss itna sa khwab hai.
The next time he asks you to work -'main koi pagal hu? mere shadi ho gaye hai, mujhe kaam karna hota toh main gher pe rehta, office kyun aata?'.
Asks you to tender your resignation -'jao pehle uske signature leke aao jisne mere performance-sheet per'kaam-chor' hai likh diya, uske baad tum jahan kahoge main sign karonga, haan!
Pulls your legs - he keeps pulling your legs all the time infront of seniors, juniors and most importantly Miss lalita(and you are-main kahin kavi na baan jaon tere pyar mein lalita).You feel like strangulating him to death.It's payback time now.Next time you get an opportunity, donot let it go, pull his legs(Which does not imply that you hid yourself under his work-table).
Get a pay-hike - Motee, baldy, bander .Apne baal beech ke moogplai kha gaya kya? Either give me a pay-hike or else .i'll continue working at this salary!
Asks you to propose Miss lalita on his behalf - Buy two cards.Send one each to the boss & lalita with the following inscribed on it respectively.
1-should you dare to look at Miss lalita again, sab pavitaar kar denge.Yours Anonymous.
2-'kaas main widhwa hota toh main tumse shadi kar leta. Meet me at 9 tonite for'mu kaal and other rituals'. yours Boss/Boss yours.
Your G.F - You always thought that a gf would certainly enhance your repu-station, lekin ho gaya ulta. market mein jo thode-bahoot izzat thi wo bhi gaye.Earlier you thought'haan maine bhi pyar kiya. It's the same, you have just replaced the word'pyar' with'paap'.It gives you stress when she threatens to leave you. You are sick & sad. You feel like crying&screaming because you know she won't keep her words.
The next time she threatens to leave you(and you donot want her to leave you)- Let her know in clear words - agar tum gaye toh I will provide your cell number to Shane warne, phir dekh lena.
She threatens to leave you(and you want her to go)- Bhena, milte rehna!
The hang-dog approach - She gives you strange nick names .'Pappu aa gaya' is how she introduces you to her friends. With that name you do not stand any chance of impressing any of her friends.Wear a hang-dog look, jaise ki kuch hua hi na ho .(hang dog look does not imply that you keep your tongue lolling out all the time).
Your neighbour - Whenever this impertinent fellow takes a right turn to your house you are left fuming. He tries hard to live within your means*.
The conversation - aao aao, aaj kya lene aaye ho? .aache, TV lene nahi dekhne aaye ho?.we just brought a new music-system dude, 'khus toh bahoot hoge aaj'.
The ritual - offer him some dudh-sudh on the auspicious occasion of'naag-panchami'.
Dho dalo - Kick boxing is the last refuge is a harrassed neighbour.Dho dalo.
Your pet dog - God knows what exactly is the problem with your dog.'kutton jaise harkat karta hai'.
Behave well with it - after all kutee bhi insaan hote hain(infact all the animals are human beings, ask one Menaka Gandhi).
Discovery Channel - His favourite channel is DC and your fav is Zee movies & you are a big Dhram pajii fan . Your dog hates him because he always used the words kutte-kamine in one breathe.Its' time you let your dog and others know who the boss is, DC laga do yaar .
Your Kids - Scolding won't solve any problems, inhumane treatment is not desirable.Try to make your kids understand this, request them not to behave with you the way they always do .
Homework - Agreed, you oft end up commiting childish mistakes while doing their homework.lekin phir bhi.you messed up the project file in the meeting today, messed up the account in the office .you do have some self-respect after all(though they want you to shelve respect).
The conversation -'kaas mummy ke shadi Rahul ke papa se hue hote, wo kitne intelligent hain, hamessa homeworks time per complete kar dete hain'.
And life moves on.
