Having traversed Indian roads all my life, I can confidently assert that the experience is extremely befuddling as it is humbling. I'd even suggest that they be used as training grounds for astronauts. Negotiating the traffic is an experience that requires wholesome powers of concentration and complete unification of sight and sound.
When my bro had come down from the US last year, he remarked that traveling on Indian roads was recurrently claustrophobic, occasionally comic and never boring. I agree with him. The varieties of specimens who use these roads on a daily basis remain unparalleled anywhere in the world. The only factor that even comes remotely close to it is the acute civic and traffic sense exhibited by each of them.
Come to think of it, we don’t realize it(because we’ve got so attuned to it), but traveling on Indian roads is recurrently claustrophobic, occasionally hilarious and seldom uninteresting. The varieties of species that use these roads remain unparalleled anywhere in the world. The only factor that even comes remotely close to it is the acute civic and traffic sense exhibited by each of them.
Here’s a layman’s guide to the notorious and at times, fatal, Indian traffic:
- Respect Thy Kin
This is under the pre-supposed assumption that all the species using the roads are “birds of the same feather”, and therefore, brothers(sorry sisters, you are minority). The varying species of road users are typically in the following order(of the frequency of use) – Bovines and “Dogmatrixes”, Pedestrians(walking, squatting, crawling, lingering types), VIP motorcades, Bicycles, Buses, Hand carts(in Mumbai), Dogs, Auto rickshaws, Donkeys, Pigs, Goats, Cats(in smaller towns), Road rollers, Heavy trucks, LCVs, Motorbikes, scooters/mopeds and finally, Cars(!). As one can see, “Agricultural Traffic” accounts for a major percentage of the total universe of users, which strengthens the statement that India is still primarily dependent on the “Primary Sector”.
- Roads are multi-purpose tracks
Each species has its own velocity of locomotion and to compel it to speed up is a cardinal sin best not committed. Roads are not merely ancillaries to move form one place to another, they are multi-purpose tracks. A cursory glance would reveal that they are often used for sleeping, defecating, spitting(those omnipresent, beautific red stains of “Paan”), drying clothes and chillies, dumping garbage, playing cricket, threshing grain, setting up make-shift “Mini-Departmental Stores”, digging storm drains and staging demonstrations(for the politically motivated), to name a few.
- Speed is a relative term
The assortment of species that use the roads traverse at varying speeds of locomotion. In metros, it’s not uncommon to find that the top attainable speed for cars is approximately between 14-27 kmph. The crucial factor being the craterish potholes that appear out of nowhere, especially during monsoons. A ride over these craters is so bumpy that it obviates the need to take one’s kids out to Amusement parks for thrilling joyrides.
The euphoric feeling of “traveling at top speed” for any particular user is directly proportional to who is ahead of whom and is inversely proportional to the sophistication and automation of the vehicle used. A chap merrily riding a cycle-rickshaw in a narrow lane might feel that he’s going at more than 80 kmph because he’s blocking the passage of a dozen cars crawling behind him. The only exception to this funda are the public transportation buses which really run at decent speeds. The terrific speed and amazing control exhibited by these drivers would no doubt get them an automatic qualification and make them the auto-favs for the F1 Grand Prix.
- Directions are freely inter-changeable
By default, road users are expected to keep to the left of the road but this is more of a generically flawed rule than an accepted norm. As expected, nobody keeps to the left of the road. Instead, it is one huge hotch-potch collection of vehicles of all kinds venturing in different directions. From there, it’s a game of one-upmanship with each trying desperately to overtake the other and claim the right of the road(pun intended). While the 4(or more)-wheelers have no choice, the 2-wheeler riders use it for some good moto-cross practice.
- Traffic Signals are tourist attractions
Those long poles with brightly colored lights atop them are redundant and getting rid of them could save the country a lot of electricity consumption. People negotiate their way past traffic junctions not by looking at the signals but by using an(inherent) ingeniously developed sense of navigation based on a combination of Radar, Sonar and Intuition.
- Spiritual Upliftment
There is an old joke that a proud atheist from the west once visited India and went back a firm believer in God after driving on the Indian roads. Thats the spiritual benefit that accrues to the users. For one thing, the “Third Eye” is clinically developed to such an advanced stage of perfection that motorists confidently gaze in around all directions except the one in which they are going.
I’m also amazed by the kind of judgment that a slower traveler exhibits. A bicyclist will hear the horn of an approaching car behind him from the time it is 100 meters away but has the expertise to maneuver out of the path exactly 1.59 seconds before the car runs over him. Forget the Himalayas, all these psychic powers can be attained on Indian roads only.
- Accidents?
Even within the confines of such an(apparently) anarchic traffic system, the incidence of accidents is far and few in between. This unique phenomenon is due to an amalgam of a terrific survival instinct, the state of roads(with naturally sculpted potholes and strategically placed speed breakers with sanitation and drainage pipes running beneath them) and the highly discretionary navigation habits of the more expensive vehicle drivers because they suffer more damage even if they bump into a tiny bicycle.
- Traffic rules are flexible
A stranger might be tempted to ignorantly ponder as to what still keeps the accidents to a bare minimum and the sanity of the people intact. In the absence of legally laid down laws, there comes into force a profound and widely accepted set of karmic laws that guides this sea of vehicles. Just like the “Bhagavad Gita”, these laws are never expressed in public. Instead, this wisdom is passed down from generation to generation and involves an elaborate procedure of “Initiation” coupled with an intensive “On-the-road” practical training.
Thus Spake TiC
The condition of roads over the last few years has actually improved but the basic problems remain the same – stagnant network but a steadily increasing vehicle population. Clearly, certain short- term solutions as well as long-term solutions are the need of the hour.
The most critical impediment to improving the current condition is a strong resistance to change on our part and the lack of a concerted effort on the part of the traffic police to strictly enforce the rules laid down. It all boils down to a change in the mindset of the populace in general which is easier said than done.
I wonder if the situation is going to be drastically different 50 years or so down the line…
