There are basically two types of people who watch Fashion TV. Men who like to ogle at half-naked women and a strange species called Fashion Designers. But since the latter consists of just 0.00000015 of the total population of the world, one can safely ignore them.
Most people who watch FTV notice that it is more about nudity rather than about clothes. It is ironic, but what surprises me is that most people notice the irony. I mean, the world is quite topsy-turvy, but not many people notice that. But, I guess the reason people so easily see this fact so clearly, is because most of us exist primarily in our root chakras (For the uninitiated: root chakra is the lowest chakra that exists at the base of the spine and is responsible for our sex drive), so anything connected with flesh, is easily discerned and understood.
As I said, the world is quite topsy-turvy:
We have religions that are supposed to be about love, peace, compassion and harmony, but somehow manage to preach the opposite and drive people to kill, burn, destroy and rape in its name. We have schools and colleges, that are supposed to educate us, which instead keep us ignorant of real knowledge, while making us memorize useless facts (like – the battle of Panipat was fought in Panipat in the year 1789) We have complicated Judicial systems, where justice is often delayed, seldom delivered. We have medical systems, which try to keep us forever sick, instead of making us healthy. We have governments which instead of governing and protect us from looter, loot us through high taxes. (I apologize for taking a stroll in the garden and running away with my thoughts)
So it is quite natural, that in such a world, fashion would be less about clothes and more about nudity
The origin of FTV or Fashion:
FTV, of course exists because of existence of institutionalized fashion.To understand the origin of fashion, one has to understand the origin of all the above institutions. Basically all institutions are created for two purposes – Power and Money, that is - to control the society and suck money from it. Ideally people should wear clothes (or not wear them!) according to their tastes, preferences, body structure and climate. Fashion is antitheses of all that, as it seeks to impose upon people regularized, standardized type of clothes.
The problem with creating institutions is that if they are made to serve the purpose for which they have been created, then the very reason for their existence is endangered. If religions were only to teach about unity of all mankind, then people wouldn’t need religions and priests anymore. If judges gave justice fairly and quickly, then society would become fair & law-abiding and wouldn’t be in need of courts, lawyers and judges. If Governments were to govern effectively, politicians would lose their relevance and if medicines were to treat people, doctors, pharma companies and hospitals wouldn’t be able to milk us.
So the trick lies in creating a balance – an outward impression that the institutions are trying to do the required job as best as they can, while doing the exact opposite. Extremities are to be avoided, as that would be self-defeating. Fashion uses the same tricks. Like religions and governments, it seeks to regulate people by imposing its own diktats. While giving an outward impression of it being all about fashion, it tries to attract viewers, by promoting nudity. The balancing act is bit tough, so various techniques have been created like:
1.Transparent clothes: This is a fantastic invention by the fashion industry, as it kills two birds with one stone. Transparent outfits are officially “clothes”, yet they are a voyeurs delight as they provide unobstructed ‘view’
2.Creating clothes that are to be worn at all the wrong places: So we end up seeing semi-nude models, wearing tall hats, and gloves on their hands, revealing parts of body that need to be covered, and covering parts of body, that no one bothers looking at. Ingenious, isn’t it?
Fashion: An Art form?
There are people who see fashion as an art form. I don’t find any art in the ridiculous outfits that the poor models are made to wear, but then I have never managed to see any `Art’ even in the creations of Picasso or MF Hussein. Maybe, I don’t have an artist’s eye, but more likely this is just another pseudo-art - for and by the Snobs; a clever ploy to extract money from the rich and snooty, by appealing to their vanity. The Fashion market works in a pretty similar manner to the Art market, where garish and childish sketches of one-eyed monsters and horses are sold for lacs of rupees to brainless socialites, who get a high from acquiring a “Gujral’ or ‘Hussein’ masterpiece! And like in the Art market (or racket), where you have professional critics who find hidden meanings in the rough sketches, which even a five-year old would be ashamed of drawing, similarly the fashion industry is full of paid journalists, who give you detailed descriptions of how the quality of the fabric, and that of stitching raises the value of the outfit from Rs.500 to Rs.50000.
Now coming back to my original theme song, I and all of you would love to see the day, when religions, education systems, judiciary, governments and all such institutions, start moving towards their professed goal, instead of regressing and journeying in the opposite direction. But I am not so sure weather I would want Fashion and Fashion TV move away from where it is going.
I would rather enjoy fashion go towards its opposite extreme of full-scale nudity (which sadly Sushma Aunty would never allow it to happen) Don’t get me wrong – there are several good reasons why we should adopt at least partial, if not full nudity.
1.Inflation: The prices of clothes are going through the roof and creating a huge hole in my pocket. Traveling in sweaty and cramped conditions increases the wear and tear of clothes, necessitating new purchases almost every month.
2.Health: I’m developing a big paunch sitting hours in front of my PC, instead of exercising. Not having any clothes to hide the deformities of our bodies, would result in people taking better care of their bodies, exercising more often and more savings on doctor’s bills.
3.Pollution: Since most people wouldn’t have enough time, patience and will power to do heavy-duty exercises, they would take the easier way out of walking towards their work-places. This would result in use of fewer vehicles and consequent lower pollution, the spin-off again being better health and savings on doctor’s bills.
4.Savings on Laundry Bills: Since my housemaid is neither young nor a prospective Miss World, the only reason, I tolerate her is because she washes and irons my clothes really well. Not having any clothes, would allow me to fire her and save more money.
5.Most important of all, at least for the roving eyes of the male gender, what a beautiful world it would be, when all the females of the world, would be forced to maintain their bodies in perfect shape - a sight for sore eyes used to watching ugliness all around.
Three cheers for Fashion TV.
