Remember Mel Gibson & me, in The Attic? Well, here is what happens at the bottom!
Now, I am talking literal! The ground floor of the building housing The Attic, to be precise. The place (opposite the GCDA complex, on Marine Drive) is called Coffee Beanz, and is a coffee shop, sandwich bar and Mallu eatery rolled into one. The omnipresent scent is of coffee, tingling the nostrils and reminding you of Coorg (for those of us poor mortals who ain’t yet been to foren lands famed for coffee).
Ambience: The place has just about 5 tables, that is, about 25 people can sit around without messing up. The decor is typical Cafe Coffee Day kinda stuff, minus the add-ons like sofas, internet et al. The walls have a few framed pencil sketches by some Naomi (don't think Ms Campbell draws much!), which lends a certain nice, warm feel to the whole place. All in all, I'd rate the decor 4 on 5.
Men You: The menu card actually is a plural, as in, there are two of ‘em! One lists the eatables and the other, the drinkables. The former extends from appam (with veg or chicken stew, or, egg roast) to sandwich (standard kinds - chicken, veg, egg and tuna; grilled or otherwise) to dosas to samosas and cutlets. For the thirsty throat, there are about 8 types of coffee (cold and hot), 5 types of ice creams and about 5 types of neither-former-not-latter! Forget the names, they are as jing-bang as creativity permits!
What catches attention on the menu, after you notice the low pricing and different combos, is the small story beneath the coffee list. It tells you how coffee came to India. Seems, a less known Saint (that explains why you haven’t heard this one, as yet, in any case!) who went from Karnataka to Mecca (don’t ask me why and how! I didn’t go, that old sod did!). He came back with seven beans of coffee, they say. Why seven? Frankly, those dudes didn’t mention that aspect! And, the boys who waited on tables (or is it “waiting at”? Abha, Mags, anyone?!) didn’t look the kind who would have read the story themselves. At least, they laid no claims to know any ‘inside story’ of that Saint! Oh, yeah, his name (the Saint’s, guys, not the waiter’s!) was Baba Budan! Now, I am yet to know of any Kannadiga (Hindu, Muslim or whatever) whose name even remotely sounds like Budan, though I can identify a Baba! Maybe, our dudes and dames in here who are into soft-wear and hence all over Bang-a-lore (corny!) may be able to elaborate on the Budanistic angle! Before I go deeper into history, let me get you back to the yummily steaming plates set on tables with thick glass over multi-coloured mosaic surfaces.
The Order: Ashamed to write a review after one trip to the joint, I am doing it after three! But still, I must admit, I am not very experienced at variety! Now, before that has Harsh grinning ear to ear, let me explain. I meant, on the menu front! All I have had there are appams (though with different accoutrements! Waah, Francais!) and sandwiches, not to mention about six kinds of coffee-icecream-both, between me and the wife. So let’s do this one by one, eh?
Appam: The Appam is the dominant partner in all couples here(!), and, likes it any way! The raised, soft, fluffy and white centre is a definite reminder of tasty 1-day old tender coconut water (taste to believe!) and the crisp remainder is thin and sharp enough to cut a soufflé! If you are asking why a soufflé is to be cut, that explains how much I know about soufflés!
The Dom’ Partner, with Slurpy, Lush, Hot and Creamy Veg Stew: For those men and women who are missing a lot in life, this makes up greatly! I could almost grade it “Wow”, if only I weren’t so allergic to veggie stuff! Thick coconut milk is the base, with curry leaves, potatoes, onions and some others (get the picture, yes?) swimming around in glee. A wonderful combo, and certainly a 5-starrer for those with veggie thoughts.
Now Rolling with Chicken Stew: Now, that’s what I call Sone pe Suhaga! You get everything that I said earlier, plus, you get the chic too! Nice soft and fleshy specimens which are like Lays…No One Can Eat Jus One !!
And one last time,with Egg Roast: You think you’ve had your spice in life? Try this and then say that again, without sipping from the glass of cold water! I won’t tell you what the masala is, firstly, to preserve the trade secret, and secondly, ‘cos I don’t know! Suffices to say, this will set your palate on fire. And don’t you go trying all these 3 combos in one go, unless you have a doctor on call nearby! Go instead for a hike in quantum of the appams. If you can’t eat at least 5 of these, you ain’t no foodie, man!
Coffees and Co.: The safest bet is the Full Cup of Baba Budan Coffee,which gets you a fair sized cuppa, with a good layer of cream and three sachets of sugar with an unpronounceable name! Empty all three right in, unless you eat karela for dessert! My advice on this section of the meal is to not read the fancy names and order on that basis. Read the description in lieu. You will then find that an Iceberg isn’t a huge heap of ice cream, but a sadist’s way of describing a mix of chocolate, ice cream, nuts and coffee, in some strange order and quantity. But there is no dearth of variety and you just can’t leave the place without feeling like you swallowed an Adnan Sami! (Now, don’t start thinking much on that….read on!!)
Burrppp… Bill Please!: If I told you that a heavy meal for 2.5 people comes to 150, you would dismiss all my reviews on eating out, saying “Cochin is dirt cheap”! But, what I say is, it makes eating out a dream, and a recurrent and lovely one at that! Plus, the fact that roads are bare after 8.30 pm leaves you feeling like you own the place!
So the next time you are at Cochin, have your lunch at Gopuram (assuming you have read my take on that joint already!) and dinner at Coffee Beanz. That leaves enough cash for the next day for you to contemplate a choice of the higher end Taj across the road or to get back to the ‘Mel Gibson & Me’ place on The Attic!!
Do you need more, to pack that bag and rush to Cochin in an off-season?
If you are a Biryani aficionado, watch this space as I shall soon take you through the moves on how to leave no bones unturned while devouring a chicken biryani…quite literally!
For Any Bones, Masala or Tips You Wanna Leave Behind, Use The Comments Section!
Bon Appetit!
Shyam
