Let me assure you no prior knowledge of cricket is required to understand this revu. This anyway is NOT based on cricket in a cricketing sense. I wouldnt even think of boring you with mundane reviews.
This revu is not under the right Topic. Since MS allows only one Revu / Product, I had to do this.
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Right from the road-side small time pan wallah to the Cricket experts, everybody has just one thing to say “Cricket is a Religion in India”. I was just wondering whether this is true. After a modest dabbling & dribbling with this thought, I come out with a theory – My Experiments with Truth, which indeed qualifies Cricket as a Religion.
The Basics of a Religion
What does ‘Religion’ typically constitute of? A Good Religion must have Gods, Temples, Devotees, Symbolic stories of wisdom, Vedic Scriptures, Path for self-realization to name a few of the tangible things amongst many others. Lets see how the Cricket Religion scores in these areas:
The Gods: If Cricket is a Religion, the Cricketers surely are Gods. So we have, Saurav: the Creator (Brahma), Sachin: the Destroyer (Shiv) & Dravid: the Protector (Vishnu). Dravid has already taken 2 Avtaars: as a Batsman & then as a Wicket-Keeper. His 3rd Avtaar in this Kalyug is being awaited eagerly.
The remaining Gods are what we call as the Navgrahas:
Jupiter: Considered to be the father of all living things – Srinath.
Sun: Sheer brilliance & Radiant – Zaheer.
Moon: Moody & Emotional – Nehra
Venus: the most benevolent planet – Mongia
Mars: Red, Fiery & Aggressive – Bhaji
Mercury: Soft nature & great wisdom - Parthiv
Shani: Can make or break – Shewag
Rahu & Ketu: The Twin Planets: Kaif & Yuvraj
The Temples: All Cricket Grounds would be considered as Temples in this Religion. Devotees would thus get a chance to sit & take darshan of their Gods. Eden Gardens gets the vote as the Mecca.
The Priests: Now, obviously you require priests thru whom you can perform poojas, offer your prayers (which will be conveyed to God). Priests are also required to perform abhishekaas - bathing & clothing the Gods. In the Cricket Religion, the Sponsors would perform the role of Priests. They will sponsor the clothes, the bats, the kits, and if you have to send a 5000 kg bat carrying your “Best Wishes” message, they will ensure that too reaches your Gods.
Symbolic Stories: Each match is a Symbolic metaphor of the fight between the Good & Evil. These matches are fought to show that Good always triumphs over the Evil, and is a constant reminder for its followers not to stray from their religious paths. (In case the Gods lose a match, even that’s symbolic of the constant pressure the devotees put on their Gods, by making numerous prayers and requests. Losing a match, is God’s way of saying – Desire is the root cause of all sorrows.) Which other Religion gives a more practical demonstration of this!
Vedic Scriptures: Vedic scriptures helps the essence of a Religion to be conveyed to its followers. In the Cricket Religion, Sidhuisms are used to do the same. Just to initiate you to some of the key concepts of this Religion:
· Statistics are like bikinis… what they reveal is suggestive, what they hide is essential!
· Wickets are like wives… you never know which way they will turn!
As you can make out, these Sidhuisms always help you to differentiate the Right from the Wrong, the Good from the Bad.
Benefits
Im sure you are already impressed by the clarity & simplicity of this Religion. But then why would anyone change his/her Religion to Cricket from their current one, which has far greater historical value & acceptance. I knew this would be bothering you. Therefore, compiling a few benefits. (will somebody pls pat me on the back?)
1. Practical Benefit: Have you seen your God? No? Well, in this Religion, you WILL actually see them in Flesh, Skin, Color & Blood. Isnt that the biggest USP?
2. Spiritual Benefit: In every other religion, which is so abstract, further complicated by not being able to see God, its tough to coax someone to adopt a spiritual path. But in the Cricket Religion, every mortal has a chance to become the GOD himself. All you need to is take a bat or a ball (Gods give u that freedom to choose) & Practice either to hit the ball or the wicket. In years, based on your Progress, you CAN become the GOD himself.
3. Tested & Approved Benefits: This is the only Religion, where Gods also cannot assume their positions for granted. Each God is evaluated for his performance, from time to time, and only if they have been taking care of their devotees' requests, are they allowed to continue in their current portfolio. A God who has miserably failed, is replaced by another God. To keep this system continuously functioning, there are always 16 Gods in a given point of time, of which 11 Gods are very active & 1 God would be active in assisting those 11. The remaining 4 wait in the bench.
The idea of this system is to ensure that only Gods who are in form are allowed to hear their devotees & answer their prayers. Compare this beauty with any other religion, which has the same Gods holding their positions for centuries (??)and many of them don’t even fulfill your prayers.
Please note: For knowing the complete set of benefits, you are kindly requested to consult the Priests aka the Sponsors
In Conclusion
Cricket is the emerging Religion of this Century. Even though, very juvenile, the Religion shows all symptoms of gaining Global Acceptance. This is also the only Religion which has the least number of atheists. This is the only Religion which makes you forget your failures, makes you talk to your neighbor, gets people of all shapes, sizes, ages together in one platform & one unanimous focus, and even makes you forget personal depressions.
Think about it!! Om…Shri Cricketaya namah…
