Austere Academy, The - Lemony Snicket . Review on Austere Academy, The - Lemony Snicket

Heard of A Series of Unfortunate Events before? No? These are my favourite books, and so I decided to request all 11 through Mouthpad. If time permits, I will write reviews on all of them, but pardon me

for beginning with the fifth one. You see, this one is one of my favourites. So read on ...

:: Who are the Baudelaires? ::

The Baudelaires are three children. Their names are Violet, Klaus and Sunny. Violet is fourteen, and an inventor. Klaus is twelve, and is an excellent researcher. And Sunny, who is in infanthood, likes to bite, a word which here means ’’use her mouth for recreation’’. Their parents died in the first book itself. They were sent to live with Count Olaf, and narrowly escaped. They were then sent to Uncle Monty, a herpetologist - a word which here means ’’one who works with snakes’’. Count Olaf tracked them down, turned up in a disguise, and killed Uncle Monty. The Baudelaires just barely escaped, as with Aunt Josephine. Then they were sent to live in Paltryville and work in a mill, where Klaus was hypnotized and Count Olaf turned into a receptionist. And now, the fifth book.

:: The Plot ::

The Baudelaires are sent to Prufrock Prepatory School by the man who is in charge of them - Mr. Poe, who is not a very helpful man. He thinks that the Baudelaires will enjoy being in the company of children their age after a long time. The Baudelaires are chilled by the school buildings, shaped like gravestones, and the school motto: Memento Mori, which in Latin means ’Remember you will die’. When the Baudelaires proceed to Vice-Principal Nero’s office, as Mr. Poe had instructed them to, they find a strange man playing a horrible tune on a violin. When the Baudelaires explain who they are and why they are here, Vice-Principal Nero mimicks them - a word which here means ’’repeats everything they say in a rude, high-pitched voice’’. Vice-Principal Nero tells them about the excellent dormitories they have in the school, but sadly, they won’t be able to live there because they are orphans and don’t have the signatures of their parents.

So the Baudelaires are forced to live in a small shack made of tin, which has horrible peeling green paint on the walls and hay to sleep on, along with a number of annoying crabs. They encounter Carmelita Spats, who calls them ’’cakesniffers’’, and here, the author has very originally thought up this word. But they make friends with the Quagmires, Duncan and Isadora. There are two of them, but they call themselves triplets. Like the Baudelaire’s parents, the Quagmire parents perished in a fire which took the life of their brother Quigley as well. Like the Baudelaires, the Quagmires will also inherit a large fortune when they come of age. The fact that the Baudelaires have finally found friends is enough to make them go through Mr. Remora’s classes (in which the teacher eats bananas and says stories in-between), Ms. Bass’s classes (in which the teacher collects an assortment of objects and shouts, ’’Measure!’’) and, of course, Vice-Principal Nero’s annoying violin recitals (in which he tortures his violin for six hours).

But all this becomes unbearable when Coach Genghis comes in as the Sports teacher. But this isn’t any Coach Genghis - it’s Count Olaf in one of his hideous disguises. To cover up his one long eyebrow, he wears a turban, to cover up the tattoo of an eye on his left ankle, he wears expensive gym shoes and says that he cannot take off the shoes because his feet are smelly, and nor his turban because of religious reasons. He also forces the Baudelaires to have a run around the school grounds each night, which takes them from evening till dawn, and they are too exhausted to take enthusiasm in their studies. As a result of this, their grades start to slip, and Vice-Principal Nero demands that they take an exam, and on that evening they have to also run around the field. Also, Sunny has to make around a thousand staples. The Baudelaires then discover that this was Count Olaf’s plan - to get them expelled, and then he could capture them easily. But Duncan and Isadora come to their rescue. I won’t say how this book ends, but it ends very sadly, like most of the books in the series.

:: And? ::

The book is close to reality. If you ever see this book anywhere, do buy it, but don’t start with this one. I made the mistake of not buying the books a few years ago, but now I like them, almost as much as - if not better than - Harry Potter. Lemony Snicket’s style of writing is absolutely incredible. His literary references, the beginning of the chapters talking about something that you think is totally irrelevant, and then the Baudelaire’s using it to help them - oh, and if you are wondering about the meanings I gave of words, yes, that is one of Snicket’s writing styles. The characters are well-defined, and the book sometimes mentions how adults can sometimes be wrong, and children right. The end of the book also says something about Count Olaf, but all the Baudelaires are able to hear is ’’V.F.D.’’ What do these three letters stand for? And why? To find this out, read the books by Lemony Snicket. Want to get a sample of writing before you buy? Go to lemonysnicket.com. I won’t say anything else here, read them!

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