Baburao Apte has company – A play.
Prinicpal Characters: Baburao Apte
Sub-principal Characters: Chiman Jinga, Chappan Tikli
Hasinas trio: Dulari, Gulabo, Pyaari
Baburao Apte is as usual trying to see if he is drunk or not. As a test he tries to count his fingers, first with his Chasma(spectacles) on, and then without them. However its difficult either way for him to make sense as to what is going on. An assuming Apte still trying to figure out is interrupted by a call from none other Bhalla Saab.
Baburao Apte: Heloooooo? Koun?
Bhalla Saab: Bhalla speaking. Gulabo tayyar hain?
BA: Koun Bhalla? Koun Gulabo?
BS: Plan Ke Mutabith, theek 8 baje, she was supposed to meet me at Deepmandir. Par, idhar tho koi Kut*ta bhi nazar nahi aa raha.
BA: Baba re Baba, koun Deep, kounsa Mandir? I don’t knowing any Deepmandir. Achcchaa! Kahi woh? deepmandir tho nahi jaha pe Prem gaya tha?
BS: Prem, koun prem? Mein prem nahi, Gulabo ka prem chahta hoon.
BA: Ejh Baba, Prem going to that theatre – he finding 2 people doing something – you know floor getting sticking; He saying no Gulabo sending there; only Gulabram going there.
BS: Plan ke Mutabhit, Gulabo meeting me here Apte saab. Agar she not come, I do something you don’t understanding.
BA: Kaay re? Saala Kutriya. Saala Halkat. You speaking like me. You threatening me. I not sending Gulabo, I send Gulabram instead. Saalya, I make sure your Bhalls get Bhallsed.
BS: Apte saab, talking too much now. If you not sending, I ask Chappan Tikli to call you. I see how u not send Gulabo today.
BA: Saalya Halkat. Phone Rakh. Na Gulabo Na Dulari, No one coming tonite. I enjoying them tonite…understand, phone rakh saalya.
Baburao to himself – “Baba re, Dulari making me drink too much wine.Agga, too much nyaari is going to kill me someday – Kai kar, Apte, kai kar…” – Unfortunately, there is someone at the door. Baburao muttering, chattering opens the door and finds a lasso, whose obvious resemblance to a nearby elephant walking by makes Apte think if he is still drunk. However after a thought, she speaks:
Pyaari – mein pyaari, Kumaron ki Kumari: Pyaari….Dil ki raajkumaari: Pyaari. Dulaari send me here to ask for work.
BA: Dulaari catch very interesting ladies; I asked for a lady, samajhla, not an elephant. Kounse Circus mein kaam…I mean, where you work before?
Pyaari: Agga, kay tariz kaay, I work at spookaay’s before. You know sahib, spookaay sahib very nice sahib. Spookaay sahib run a big company of ice creams. I taste each ice cream made by Spookaay sahib. However spookaay saab saying I eat too much and asked me to find some work. You know, Spookaay sahib teach me how to fly sahib. You know sahib, when If I fly sahib, I know how to be flying comfortable sahib.
BA: Achcha? Kuttha aahe spookaay? Me asking him how he teach elephants to fly! Interesting character aahe thu pori – Tell me, can you also flying with men?
Pyaari: kaay re Apte sahib? Saalya, you looking 50 year old and taunting me to flying with you? Even my dhandha has principles Apte sahib – no affair with employer – spookaay sahib tell me that.
BA: Agga, kaay nahi. Chal, from today you working here. You wanting to working right now? I have work for you. You know deepmandir?
Pyaari: Deepmandir! Sahib, spookaay take me there always. Nice pictures there.
BA: Fine Fine, Now you going alone there – a new friend Bhalla Saab waiting for you there. You going, he feeling happy. Fly with him, my pyaar, my ramdulaari, fly! Come homing before 4 Clock in morning.
After taking care of rather obnoxious elephant at the door, Baburao has improved his vision and thought. He praises himself for the sheer cunning act he is about to play on Bhalla Saab. However, just in time the phone rings again.
Chappan Tikli – Chappan tikli naam hein mera. Mere chehre pein Chappan Tikli….
BA: Eh bhau, Chappan ke Treppan, kaay re, Why telling me about your tikli face?
CT – Abbe sun – Aaj raath ko agar Gulabo nahi aayee Bhalla saab ke paas, tho your face becoming Chappan Tikling. Else I coming by train and beating you black and yellow.
BA: Kaay re, dhamki detho? Kaay re, tula mahit nahi, my friend ganeshb traveling in train regularly. You meeting him, you knowing how traveling is. Kaay re, he telling me ten most important things while he traveling, and if you meeting him, then I suggesting you survive him first. Saalya, Chakka Chappan, your boss not giving you car? Scooter? Cycle? Saalya, nakhre Noorjahan chya, aukad bhikari chya?
CT – Ehh Baburao, gapp, gapp. Me knowing who ganeshb is and me knowing what he doing while traveling – my boss saying train traveling safest; Goggo not attacking trains.
BA – Ehh, chappan, phone rakh, and asking Bhalla saab to waiting. I sending something special to him – Pyaari. You too enjoy for free. Saalya halkat, parun phone kelas tho your name changing to Treppan Tikli. Rakh phone.
Baburao Apte is thinking that his day has gone better than expected. He has successfully tackled Pyaari and Chappan, and he is happy. After eating a lovely meal specially prepared by Dulaari for him, he thinketh – “Dulaari taking good care of me. Why sending her to others for money. I marrying her and enjoying her” – Utter misfortune strikes Apte’s thoughts. He doesn’t like this, and is angry again. Its someone yet again at the door-
Chiman Jinga – Me Chiman Jinga you Baburao Apte….
BA: yes, and she Dulaari, this my garage, there Ranibai, queen amongst dogs – kaay kaam aahe?
CJ: I singing well Apte ji. Rjois memsaab sending send me here to you ji. She saying you could use me for something?
BA: Dakhav.
CJ: Not here sahib, in the room I am ready. I satisfy anybody.
BA: E Murakh, gaa, gaa? Showing me singing.
CJ: I not singing and showing ji. I do one thing at a time.
BA: Barra Barra, singing.
CJ: Which singing Apte ji. I have a list of songs I know ji: tell me which to sing and I singing it.
BA(looking through it): Samajhla, atti samajhla why you here. Eh kaay aahe? This is list of twenty worst songs! What, yor memsahib knowing nothing better than writing a list of 20 worst songs. You singing, my dulaari and pyaari running away. I cannot keeping you.
CJ: But Apte ji, I am versatile. I will showing now – you feel bad. I can do anything – I will learn singing and showing together.
Dulaari: Yes Yes merre Raja. Tu hain asli.
BA: Gapp! Gapp! Eh Chaman Chiman, I giving you some ideas. My friend needing someone like you – singing, showing. His name is Chappan Tikli – You going there to him, he feeling very happy to receiving you. Will you go there?
CJ: yes yes! Thank you Apte ji. I know you helping me, I know.
BA: Barra Barra.get lost now.
Sorry! Continued in comments. Pleajj bagha
