Destination Bangalore!. Review on Bangalore

At the time of writing this is the 31st opinion about Bangalore. Most of the reviews have covered Bangalore in good detail. I don't intend to repeat whatever you have already read.If you expect this review to tell you about the various tourist spots in Bangalore and ways of getting there or about the hotels and their prices or about modes of transportation to look around Bangalore etc..then maybe you should stop reading right now and look for the ''Not Recommended'' button on the left hand side of your page,press the damn thing and move on to the next review.

Speaking of tourism and tourists in general, there are two kinds of tourists really..one kind is that which visits places without really bothering about factors such as transport, accommodation, food etc and then we have the other kind which wants to know precisely what the tourist destination has to offer. I recommend Bangalore to both kinds of tourists. Both me and you know you belong to the former..because if u belonged to the latter kind, then you would have NRed this review like I suggested initially :) and wouldn't be reading this.

First thing one notices in Bangalore is the weather. Its mostly very pleasant and cool. The weather is nice during summer and nicer in winter,overall a very satisfactory state of affairs.

The next thing that you will notice is the pace of life in Bangalore,very leisurely and slow. If living life in Mumbai is living life in fast forward, life in Bangalore goes on in slow motion. People,even the busiest ones,give the impression of taking a leisurely stroll. This adds to the general pleasantness of the place.

The next thing you notice are the roads. In addition to having two names(one name being used by the ppl and the other by the officials),most of them have potholes placed at strategic locations by the municipal authorities. These function as speed breakers as well as generally help in different ways in population control. How? We all know guys in bikes prefer to drive really fast. Now whenever they drive fast and into these potholes ,one of three things happen:

a) They die - direct population reduction

b) They live but their bikes die ..so they go into depression and eventually they too die - indirect population reduction

c) The bikes shock absorbers are not good and a very important part of their body takes a beating..they mope around till they are feeling better..but that takes a couple of days. In a country where one baby is born every 6 secs, we see 2 days of ''unproductivity'' - temporary population reduction.

The last one has the added advantage of reducing fuel consumption and pollution as well because most people who live through the experience give up bikes for good. And hey this isn't my theory, if you don't believe me follow this link folks - https://mouthshut.com/readreview/32770.html

The fact though is that you really become a skillful driver and usually the drivers going through potholes are the drunken ones. Those who drink and drive deserve to die anyway..or else they'll run over someone and kill them.

The next thing you notice are the animals..the four-legged ones,ofcourse. These are the ones that make driving on good road (less or no potholes) a challenging experience. The dominant ones among these are the cows. The cows have the tendency to take a nap on some of the busiest roads on peak hours. So you learn to drive around them in Bangalore. Then there are always the dogs. Now these dogs keep a low profile during day-time, but at night with the barely functioning street lights (another municipality masterpiece)they rule the deserted roads. And if you happen to come driving on the roads they chase you from the beginning of their part of the road to the end. I have been subjected to such surprise chases many times and I can't help feeling proud of myself and grinning stupidly when I skilfully outmaneuver the hounds. The grin lasts till I take the next turn and connect to another road and then another hi-speed chase begins. Actually what I preach is if u r being chased by a pack of menacing dogs with sharp teeth just stop your vehicle(I haven't tried it yet, I just preach..never practise)and if u do survive,M2M me and I'll mention ur name in this review.

The last two paras were for ppl who have a bike.Start saving for a car folks and do give me a lift when u get one.

The next thing that you will notice are the big blue buses which form the core of transportation in and around Bangalore. As blood flows through the arteries and provides nourishment to the various cells(12 std biology),similarly these blue buses run on the roads and allow ppl to travel through the city. Talk of blue-blooded ppl, we have a blue blooded city. There are other luxury buses as well, higher fares ofcourse and we have women conductors..as if being fleeced by men conductors are not enough, we now have BMTC as an equal opportunity employer offering us a chance to be fleeced by the ladies.

The next thing(if you haven't been run over by one of the buses I mentioned earlier), are the three-wheeler autorickshaws. These provide Bangalore with a unique identity. The rickshaw-wallahs are by default slightly rude and drive their rickety vehicles to the limit. They will fleece you of some extra money if you show that you don't know a single thing about the place,but they are the best ppl to get info from and they will make sure that you reach your destination safely,never mind the fact that they took the longest possible route to the destination..but hey you wanted to see more of the city,didn't you?

The next thing is the chaotic traffic. Driving in Bangalore is a learning experience,learning how to break rules when the cop isn't watching,and when he does, you are too far away to hear him mouthing some of the most vulgar obscenities at offenders like you. You will see vehicles crossing the yellow dividing line, overtaking from the left and much much more. Its a surprise that ppl actually are able to drive in bangalore without meeting with a single accident. Yours truly wasn't so lucky. In one and a half month of horror-driving (Aug - mid Sep 1999)I chalked up 4 accidents..yep 4, and the 4th nearly took me to meet my maker,dunno if I could have withstood the scorching temperature there though!

Last but not the least are the pride of the city - its citizens,the Bangaloreans. A very strange breed,they'll go out of the way to help you. Its a tribute(?) to their friendliness that you don't need to know a word of kannada to survive in Bangalore, unless you have a penchant for violating the law..and getting caught. Then nothing but kannada can save you :) The ppl generally go about doing their work without bothering others. They let you have your way if you let them have theirs. All said and done, they reflect the spirit of this magnificent city...and if once in a while you do find something wrong about a Bangalorean, all I can say on their behalf is - svalpa adjust maadkolli..nodi swami,naavu irodhe heege (Kindly adjust..Look sir,we are like this only!)

By the way, I almost forgot. Bangalore has museums, monuments, parks, discos, pubs, hotels, lodges, entertainment parks, movies and all that a tourist will need to enjoy his/her stay there.Thats what you wanna read in a tourist spot review,right? I dont know if I have listed the positives or the negatives..they are(to me) the most striking aspects of Bangalore. I feel the 4 stars are more than justified,frankly it deserves 5! If u r coming here for a couple of days or a couple of weeks its well worth coming here to savour the experience of seeing Bangalore.

So when are you coming to nanna bengaluru (my bangalore) next?