International Khiladi Movie Reviews

International Khiladi is without a doubt an unintentionally bad serious movie - the kind that the makers intend to be very very serious but because of various factors like lack of plot, bad (over- or ham) acting, cheesy dialogues, cliched characters and over-ambitious special effects, it turns out to be a disaster that can only be laughed at.

There are certain ingredients that make the perfect bad serious movie, and every such angle was covered:

Ham actors - a very important ingredient, and this movie definitely goes the extra mile - Ham-acting leviathan Mukesh Khanna joins lesser-known giants like Vivek Shauque (you might remember him from Jaspal Bhatti's Flop Show, where he did a pretty good job with comedy) and Rajat Bedi. The latter two complemented each other very well, I thought. VS was overplaying his role, with his high intonation and pseudo-Punju accent while RB was the resident block of plywood, registering the entire range of emotions right from apathy to... well, apathy, on his face.

Johnny Lever. I hate him.

Lack of plot disguised by semi-lavishness of sets and disguises - another essential ingredient in the making of a bad serious movie is the Trojan Plot Horse - it has the outward semblance of a smart plot but on slight inspection turns out to an army consisting of tons of bullcrap. You let the Trojan Plot Horse into your city, thinking it to be geniuine, but when you least expect it (or after the first song, whichever happens sooner) it opens up and suddenly that isn't yesterday's dal-chawal you are smelling. This movie revolves around orphan-turned-gangster, Devraj (Akshay Kumar) who has been brought up by Mukesh Khanna's character, who fills the role of the Mandatory Muslim Element, even with a stereotypical name like Rahim Chacha.

The movie begins with an international crime syndicate (consisting of random people picked from the streets of Bombay, supposedly people from all around the world - London, Italy and Africa, to be precise) trying to choose their next leader. Akki is the favourite, but Gulshan Grover plays his mandatory role as fellow bad guy who doesn't have a good heart, unlike Akki. His villain's role has the stereotypical oft-repeated phrase, too. In this movie, that happens to be ''Dil garden garden ho gaya'' (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that his quirk in this movie is to translate some words from Hindi to English) Akki gets elected as leader of the crime syndicate, which angers GG, who therefore decides to get rid of Akki in the worst way possible - pit him against three of the most manly, fiercest blonde female wrestlers ever known to mankind, obviously imported, but for some unexplained reason possessing the names Kanta, Shanta and Chameli.

GG's character also sleeps with their legs wrapped around him... yuckk. In the meantime, Akki gets distracted by the most inane of love stories - Vivek Shauque's sister (played by the irritating Twinkle Khanna), a journalist. Rajat Bedi plays an inspector who is Shauque's friend and is secretly in love with the sister. Now that we have completed the stereotypical love triangle, let's proceed to the next obvious step.

Something goes wrong, and there's a misunderstanding. There's some doubt surrounding the mysterious (and ULTIMATELY histrionic) death of Vivek Shauque, which also occurs at the same inopportune time as Akki's arrest by the cops and Mukesh Khanna's unfortunate but side-splitting pre-death monologue and death scene - leading to a trial which can, to say the least, be described as unnecessary and retarded.

There are at least three versions of the story, one each being told by Akki, Rajat Bedi and Twinkle. (all versions are consistent about one thing - Vivek Shauque is an awesomely bad ham actor equalling Shivaji Ganesan's might in his heydays) Twinkle's version is the best and the funniest, although it may not be true. It implicates Akki in her rape and her brother's murder, which Akki carries out in the most hilarious and coolest of ways.

In Twinkle's flashback (oh yeah, there are loads and loads of flashbacks within flashbacks in this film, which make it seem like there's a complicated plot, which just disguises the fact that there's NO plot to begin with), Akki brings both brother and sister to his squash court, brother in his baniyaan, bleeding from a few bitch-slaps delivered by Akki's henchmen, and Akki repeatedly hits him with the squash ball with a few precise but damaging serves, and when that fails, he rapes Twinkle and according to her, also gives her cigarette burns when he's done. Hahahahaha.

All this to get access to some stupid floppy disk, it probably can implicate Akki, I don't remember, it's not important! Things spin out of control when Subbi Raaj, the DIG or something like that, lets Akki escape to ''clear his name'' while Rajat Bedi acting as an inspector takes Twinkle to Canada (they show them at a store buying Hindi music, it was something ridiculous, I forget what it was). Will Akki be able to clear his name? Who really killed Vivek Shauque? Who wins the Oscar for worst ham actor, VS or RB? Or is it the Pitamaha of ham acting himself, Mukesh Khanna? Jaanne ke liye, Bhaiyyon aur Behnon, dekhiye International Khiladi!

A couple more things that stand out in this film: the song ''Lutiya Gaya'' has this really bad coordinate dance step, involving enormous amounts of clapping while chanting ''Jhing lak lak jhing jhing lak lak'', which I took to the United States and made famous among some Americans. We now repeat that step at every dance party we go to. People wonder what the hell we are doing.

One of the funniest coolest lines in the film is delivered in Akki's hoarse voice towards the end of the film. He is being chased by Kanta, Shanta and Chameli and manages to shake two of them, but the third one is ready to charge at him like a bull. He's cornered by a pier supposedly in Canada, but he manages to say, in accented English ''There is no chance'' She charges, he sidesteps and she lands in the water. Akki turns around (and probably tips his sunglasses) and says, ''I told you baby, there is no chance''. The title song is sung irreverently by Anu Malik right from the beginning of the film: ''Killadi, killadi, international killadi!''

Trivia: this movie, and quite a few other Khiladi movies were directed by this person who calls himself Keshu. Who is this, you ask? Friends, since the 70s, one family has been delivering our yearly dose of bad cheesy horror flicks. That family is the Ramsay brothers. Keshu is none other than Keshu Ramsay, the black sheep of this family! Hahaha, he was probably either embarassed by his family making those horror flicks, or was embarrassed of being associated with cheesy Khiladi movies and decided to drop his last name in order to save the family some ridicule!!

I give this movie an 8.0/10. It is totally worth the money we spent, and I would definitely watch it again (but not alone!!!)

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Genre: Action

Released on : March, 1999

Producer: Keshu

Director: Umesh Mehra

Music: Aadesh Shrivastava

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Twinkle Khanna, Gulshan Grover, Johny Lever, Rajat Bedi etc

There are no reviews on this topic so far which makes it ver important to warn every one on this ultimate crap of the century. Do comment so that I will be able to know what others think about this movie.....

INTRODUCTION

Haven't you heard about crap atleast once in your life time? I have seen it and heard it in the name of International Khiladi, a part of the hit Khiladi series. Why didn't any body stop me from seeing this movie?

Who could forget Khiladi and Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi? Who could remember this crap? Who would like to do so? Before, I tell you more, I warn that you are about to read about one of the worst movies in the history of Akshay Kumar's entire movie career which blossomed through the Khiladi series.....

THE MOVIE

Oh my God! The movie makes me run. The only good factor in the movie is the action scenes. The action sequences are nice and may even be in an overdose. You may watch this if you are an Akshay Kumar fan.

Else, avoid this or be bored - not any simple boring, but the ultimate boring. The songs, I think are just below the standards - still not the worst. I am so glad that the CD or DVD of the movie is not available here.

THE PLOT

I can't remember the plot very clearly, but I surely can get some image of it inside my brains. In the king of craps movie, Devraj (Akshay Kumar) is elected the Don of the year or something like that and his enemy, the cruel, wicked brained don played by Gulshan Grover surely is not even a bit happy about it and continues his plans against Devraj.

Paayal (Twinkle Khanna) comes to the scene to take an interview of the big don (this guy has more security than the Indian Prime Minister or may be even more than the American president) and could not stop herself from falling in love with him (That was expected - I knew this would happen for sure).

But we know the Bollywood movies. The whole scene changes too quickly. Devraj is accused of murdering Paayal's brother who is also a police officer and the stupid girl also accuses him of raping her (izzat loota and some blah blah with the ridiculous looks in her eyes - I can't stand this thing).

Later we comes to know that the ''izzat lootna'' was just made by the good for nothing girl for reinforcing the case as she believed that Devraj killed her brother. This bloody girl and the plot is keeping on making me sick. She seems to have learned acting from Dino Morea - just look at her expressions - as if she is going to rape the viewers.

You can stop this movie in the middle (you will be forced to do so - you may even lose your control) and leave the questions as it is. Who killed the bloody girl's brother? (it made us crazy) Where will the bloody love story end? (Some one send these idiots to hell or something worse).

Will Devraj be able to destroy his opponents? (Some body destroy the CDs of the movie - it will make me sick - oops, I am already sick). Finally, the most important question - why did I waste my money on this bull shit? I know - I was attracted by the ''Khiladi'' factor which cheated me.

PERFORMANCE

Akshay Kumar has given a beautiful performance in the movie and proved that he is the best action hero Bollywood can ever get. With some solid dialogues and action sequences, just like in the previous Khiladi movies, he did a wonderful job. He applied himself into his role very well.

Twinkle Khanna - Oh my God! I just hate her. Her looks are like.....oops don't make me say that. From her expressions, she seems to be.....you know that. She seems to be thinking that she is very beautiful or sexy, but she looks like the fuel tank of a motor bike. Don't misunderstand me, but she is my least favourite actress - just look at her loose screws in Mela and you can find it out. Thanks - Twinky for stopping the bloody acting - you sis a great job by making us relieved.

Johny Lever has done some good comedy scenes just like Gulshan Grover, the typical villain has done the climax scenes filled with scenes. There seems to be lots of actors and actresses from outside the sub continent for just action and give a meaning to the name ''International Khiladi'' which should rather be called ''Inter-racial crap'' because of the ridiculous.....you know it.

CONCLUSION

As I said, stay away from the movie. There are lots of other good interesting movies in the Khiladi series like Khiladi, Sabse Bada Khiladi, Main Khiladi Tu Anari, Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi and Mr & Mrs Khiladi. This movie as well as Khiladi 420 is cent percent avoidable.

Even the Undertaker cannot save this movie. Full credits to the plot and Twinkle Khanna for making this movie a horrifying experience - even ''Murder'' will not be able to murder the viewers like this. Really its bad for Akshay.....please forgive me for writing about this cheap movie. I had been very disappointed.....

THANK YOU FOR READING THE REVIEW. YOUR COMMENTS ON THE REVIEW ARE WELCOME. PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO RATE THE REVIEW IF YOU HAVE ENOUGH TIME.....

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