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Articles by cheergirl
Posted Sep 24, 2008 | Lighter Moments ! | 695 Views   (Updated Sep 24, 2008 04:38 PM)

Welcome To Flight Number 293

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from... A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!" Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in the Cabin said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!" Read More
Tags: joke - Welcome to flight no 293
Posted Sep 24, 2008 | Lighter Moments ! | 808 Views   

A Muslim, a Hindu and a...

A Muslim, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car expired. They set out to find help, and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the thr... A Muslim, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car expired. They set out to find help, and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to sleep in the barn with the animals. The three quickly agreed. The Muslim said he would sleep in the barn and let the other two have the beds. Ten minutes after the Muslim left, there was a knock on the bedroom door. The Muslim entered exclaiming "I can't sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there. It's against my religion to sleep in the same room with a pig!" The Hindu said HE would sleep in the barn, as he had no religious problem with pigs. However, about five minutes later, the Hindu burst through the bedroom door saying "There's a COW in the barn! I can't sleep in the same room as a cow! It's against my religion!" The lawyer, anxious to get to sleep, said he'd go to the barn, as he had no problem sleeping with animals. In two minutes, the bedroom door burst open and the pig and the cow entered... Read More
Tags: joke : a mulim hindu & .......
Posted Sep 24, 2008 | Lighter Moments ! | 834 Views   

Arthritis (Joke)

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newsp... A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading---a couple of minutes later he asked the priest, "Father what causes arthritis"? "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol and contempt for your fellow man". "Well I'll be damned", the drunk muttered and returned to reading his paper. The priest, thinking about what he said turned to the man and apologized. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong---how long have you had arthritis"? "I don't, father, I was just reading in the paper that the Pope has it". Read More
Tags: joke : arthritis
Posted Sep 24, 2008 | Thoughts | 783 Views   (Updated Sep 24, 2008 12:33 PM)

Confidence, Trust & Hope...

CONFIDENCE: One Day all villagers decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all people gathered & only one boy come with umbrella. THAT’S CONFIDENCE. TRUST: Trust should be like feeling of a 1... CONFIDENCE: One Day all villagers decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all people gathered & only one boy come with umbrella. THAT’S CONFIDENCE. TRUST: Trust should be like feeling of a 1 year old baby, when you throw him in the air, he laughs.... because he know you will catch him.......... HOPE: Every night we go to bed, have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning, but still we have many plans for coming day... KEEP CONFIDENCE, TRUST IN GOD AND NEVER LOSE HOPE.......... Read More
Tags: thoughts: confidence trust & Hope
Posted Sep 23, 2008 | Lighter Moments ! | 676 Views   

Poor Husband.....

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, Told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying "God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye... A father put his three year old daughter to bed, Told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying "God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing todo." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma." The next day the grandmother died. Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy." He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened HERE. He asked "What"?????? She said "This morning our neighbour James suddenly died." Read More
Tags: joke: poor Husband
Posted Sep 23, 2008 | Weird | 805 Views   (Updated Sep 23, 2008 11:57 AM)

Funny Questions ....

What do chickens think we taste like? Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg? What do they call a French kiss in France? What do you say if you’re talking to God, and he sneezes? What hair... What do chickens think we taste like? Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg? What do they call a French kiss in France? What do you say if you’re talking to God, and he sneezes? What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man? If “bra” is singular why is “Panties” plural? Do fish get thirsty? What is free gift? Aren’t all gifts free? Do vampires get AIDS? Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken’s ss and think, I’ll bet that would be good to eat? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the 5th one enjoys it? Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils? And why did you just now attempt to verify the size of the index finger to ur nostril? (Your funny answers and comments are welcome to any or all of the questions. There are no prizes for correct answers as I myself do not know the correct answers) Read More
Tags: Funny Questions
Posted Sep 20, 2008 | Lighter Moments ! | 706 Views   (Updated Sep 20, 2008 02:34 PM)

Sardar ji's Suicide....

Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Mumbai. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardar ji. Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch togeth... Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Mumbai. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardar ji. Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together one fine day - The Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box. He says "I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tomorrow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die. Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says "If I find fish in my lunch box tomorrow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die. Next the Sardar ji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says "Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tomorrow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor. Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies. The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies. Sardar ji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies. In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues. The Mallu's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch" . The Bengali's widow says "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch”. The Sardar ji's widow says "I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch....!!! (This joke is posted here with no intention to hurt sentiments of any individual or group of individuals) Read More
Tags: joke - sardar ji's Suicide
Posted Sep 20, 2008 | General | 536 Views   

I must admit I’m stumped.

I have been posed a seemingly simple query — which has turned out to be trickier than expected. The question is: “What is the Indian equivalent for ‘cheers’?” I’ve racked my brains, trawled through numerous websites, spoken with friends and th... I have been posed a seemingly simple query — which has turned out to be trickier than expected. The question is: “What is the Indian equivalent for ‘cheers’?” I’ve racked my brains, trawled through numerous websites, spoken with friends and those in the F&B industry — and drawn a complete blank. Now, I do know how many nations raise a toast. The French toast each other’s health with an À votre santé; the Brits and the Yankees say cheers; the Germans say prost, and the Scots clink their glasses to slainthe. Other expressions include the Russian vashe zdrovie, the Turkish serefe, l’chaim in Yiddish and my favourite, the Croatian Zxivjeli! U zdravlje (pronounced ZHEEVELL-ee oo ZDRAHV-yeh). Chant it aloud a few times. Doesn’t it just sing? The idea behind proposing a toast is to honor something or somebody, and most phrases boil down to a few basic expressions — victory, luck, honor, health, camaraderie and, in some cases, just an animated call to drain the glass. But what about India? Do we really have a vernacular equivalent in India? Most of us stick to English expressions with the occasional mock reference to kursi and moodha. (Ek jaam aap ke naam or aapke lambi umar ke liye don’t hold a candle to cheers). So it was not surprising when a website I chanced upon cited the Hindi and Gujarati equivalents as — I kid you not — cheers! At the end of the day, all I can say is — I really don’t know the answer. Perhaps there is no word. Perhaps there is, something I have missed or overlooked. If you know, please do enlighten me. Till then, here’s a toast — to a toast. (Source : Hindustan Times ) Read More
Tags: gen: "cheers" in Indian ?
Posted Sep 19, 2008 | Lighter Moments ! | 627 Views   

Mistress Approval !!

A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him an... A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that?!" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce. I am going to hire the most aggressive, meanest divorce lawyer I can find and make your life miserable." "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more winter holidays in the Caribbean, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Cadillac STS in the garage, and no more country club, and we'll have to sell the 26-room house and move to two smaller homes, but the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. "Who's that with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. She replies, "Ours is prettier." Read More
Tags: joke : mistress approval
Posted Sep 19, 2008 | Lighter Moments ! | 475 Views   

Computer Gender !!

A man who was previously a sailor, was very aware that ships are addressed as "she" and "her". He often wondered what gender computers should be addressed. To answer that question, he set up two groups of computer experts. The first was comprised... A man who was previously a sailor, was very aware that ships are addressed as "she" and "her". He often wondered what gender computers should be addressed. To answer that question, he set up two groups of computer experts. The first was comprised of women, and the second of men. Each group was asked to recommend whether computers should be referred to in the feminine gender, or the masculine gender. They were asked to give 4 reasons for their recommendation. The group of women reported that the computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because: 1) In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 2) They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. 3) They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem. 4) As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model. The men, on the other hand concluded that Computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because: 1) No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. 2) The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3) Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 4) As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. (Some of the MS'ians may have read it before or it may have been posted on MS before too but I have read this for the first time and would like to share it for the pleasure of those Ms'ians who have not read it before like me.) Read More
Tags: joke: computer gender

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