Since last few moths I preferred to stay away from MouthShut as a measure of my personal safety. I didn't really like the way its members being abused by few unknown people. Chalo,nobody likes to be abused,so better stay away from it.......was my reaction. But finally I realized,it's like that proverb, "I will drive when all signals turn green!" Everything will be there in your life,abusers and achievers,losers and teasers. If you stay away,you will lose something very precious to you. In my case,it was my writing habit and my friends. I got such a nice group here which I couldn't find anywhere else. So after so much thinking and re-thinking,I decided to try once more.
In these few months I was going through all sorts of incidents and not to mention,accidents also. I lost one of my uncles and few family friends in those days. In one such incident,I was at the bedside of the deceased. When his family members were crying,I was thinking about something very appropriate at that time. When this person was alive,nobody cared much about him,not even his wife. He used to sit whole day in the balcony,waiting to be cleaned and fed by the nurse who used to stay with him. At that time nobody actually cared for him,as if they were waiting for his death. Now,when he was no more,they were crying and were discussing about his positive sides. I was thinking,wasn't it better to recognize those a little earlier? If they did,his last days would not be so lonely and without care. This is the nature of human being,we never understand the value of something when we already have that. It's better not to cry over the spoiled milk,but it's wise to avoid the spoiling itself!
I love my hubby very much,all these days when I stayed there in Kolkata without him I used to call him everyday. I missed him,we talked for hours. One day my mom asked,"Why are you calling him so many times? I can understand you miss him,but after all these years of your marriage also why do you behave like a teenage girl?" What to tell her? I know why I am doing so. Life is very short,who knows how long this wonderful togetherness lasts? I want to enjoy each and every minute of this precious time, without wasting it in carelessness or misunderstanding. This is applicable for all my near n dear ones,not only for my hubby. I enjoyed being with my granny,helped her preparing pickles and mango jelly. I wanted to express my love for her through the work. I helped my little sister with her homework and violin lessons,my aunts with cooking and other household works and spent a great time with my mom,giving her company. All these were to cherish the moment,to make them feel good. After coming back to Bangalore,I will miss them for a long time,I knew. So I just wanted to preserve the memory of this good time in my heart for that lonely period. So much time already wasted,the remaining time I really don't want to let go. I am living each and every singing minute of it,at least I am trying to do so. It's always better to try,what do you say?
