Dear Babe,
I thought I will never write again in my diary. But memories of you lingers on and haunts me still.
Even though in my life many have change. I cant evade not to think of you and say....
From the time we met, there was just friendship between us. There was YOU- there was ME...And as time goes by... there's US, already. The feeling of closeness is not hard to grow. Until-we cant go on pretending anymore that we dont feel the same way. Because...the feeling is mutual, not just in friendship's name, but more so...love developed mysteriously.
Loveis undeniably binding us even we're far from each other. Even we know that our status in life will soon be in mess. Yet--love became the center in our everyday life. But... should we go on loving each other even the truth is... we'll hurt someone close to us? Why should love grow between us in the most impossible way?I know its wrong to love when you're no longer free, but--Is there such thing as," Wrong love, anyway?"Maybe there is, maybe it depends on the situation, maybe it depends which place and culture you belong. .
Sometimes fate plays an unfair game to us. We dont know when love will come. We dont know to whom we will fall in love. And sometimes, the precious love we knew...is no longer free. I fall in love not with the wrong guy... but love finds us in the wrong time. And sometimes the more that love is being forbidden, the more our heart beats fast and the passion gets so intense. .
Its truly hard to love someone when you know that you cant be...
When you know that...there's nothing to hold on and nothing to hope for.
When you know that...happiness is just temporary, and not for long.
Because you know that...every moment is a forbidden moment to be together.
Because you know that...Its wrong to love someone who doesnt belong to you.
Because you know that... fear will only haunts your silent reverie.
Because you know that... its hard to love a forbidden love in a stolen moment.
Sometimes I ask myself," Why do we have to met-just to part ways? "Is it enough that we have this love even we cant be?"Until when will our heart beats for each other? Until when should I wait till our love be together? Will you still love me if we meet again-- forever or...until eternity?
Yes,I dont know anymore if you'll still love me till the end...but all I know-
loving you is what keeps me alive!
There are times when I think of you...I feel a lasting joy in my heart especially when we're together.
But happiness sometimes is not just being with you or us alone...
Its also peace of mind, guilt free conscience and being able to smile with anyone.
How can we be happy, if we'll hurt some people close to us?
But remember, if I'll let you go, it doesnt mean, I dont love you.
No babe, sometimes, " letting gothe one you love is the sign oftrue love."
Maybe in love, just like in war, the battle wonis not really winning at all, but...
It is sacrifice and a total surrender to gain peace.
Because hurting someone will not give you total joy but...
will only haunts you like a ghost even in your moment of meditation.
Giving up your love to the rightful owner sometimes is worth the sacrifice, even you know that..it will cause you too much heartaches and pains. But- letting go a love one doesnt mean defeat. It only shows that you're a better person to give way. That you're a stronger person to resist temptations. Because sometimes, love is giving up and letting go freely the love that doesnt really belong to you. And all I have are the cherish moments and Sweet Memories of YOU
Princess D
Note: This is Part 2 of the previous post >>
https://mouthshut.com/diary/hjihlnpun/The-Last-Diary-of-Princess-D
