Once it so happened that someone commented that I walk very slowly, I snapped back, " Yes! I do, not that I can't walk fast but I am always lost in my thoughts and this is the only time I get to think!", don't quite know why I said that, may be I was just being defensive, but somehow I felt the need to explain why I walk slow!
And I was so lost in my thoughts one day that I dint even realize that I had an umbrella in my bag even though it was pouring heavily and I saw many people carrying it, it still amazes me as to how much I can be consumed in my own thoughts!
I am often criticized about being very silent and not reacting to what people are saying, according to some its rude not to react, you need to say "Yes" even if you don't understand what the other person is saying!
I have realized in these 20 odd years that no matter how you are someone will always find a fault with you! Either you talk more or talk less, either you are too tall or too thin, yet we all try to be something we are not! We modify our lifestyles, ourselves just to fit in! But never realize even God can't please everyone!
Some one said, " We don't grow up, we just learn to act in public!", I am yet to learn to fake a smile, compliment someone just for the sake of it, be a spoon (chamcha) or just be "smart"! But there is no doubt that I am learning and learning fast!
When I look through photographs of mine and compare it to now, a lot has changed but only I can make out the real difference, slowly but surely my innocence is being ripped off! I have lost a part of me and I can never get it back!
Where did that girl go who used to hide behind her mom's pallu? Where is that girl who never lied? Where is that innocent girl who was least bothered about the outside world? Where is that girl for whom money was not a priority?
I have always tried not to lose her, in fact so many times I have got into trouble because of her. But as time passes by I have realized that I need to let her go ! I need to learn to act of course in public!
