Hi friends, was just listening to one of my favourite song “Allah ke bande has de” sung by Kailash Kher. I always feel nostalgic after hearing this song because it is very synonymous with my life in whole. I have been through many ups and downs in my life. In my schooling days, I used to be a top notch student till the primary section, but from then onwards I didn’t take my studies seriously as was not interested in it much. God knows why, but that feeling was natural from within. The conventional educational system never appealed to me from the beginning and hence I lost interest in it very quickly though my memory being very sharp to grasp and adapt anything at one shot. I used to read books on philosophy and spirituality a lot more than the educational ones. I am happy that I learnt a lot from those books. It has helped me immensely in shaping my life for the good. While continuing my studies, one fine day when I was in the first year of my college, an unwanted emergency crept up out of nowhere and I had to take up my family business at the age of 16. I carried on my education and business simultaneously, but gradually, I was more inclined towards my business and hence one day I forsook my education in the second year of B.com and took up my business in a full-fledged manner.
Till now, while doing my business and leading a happy personal life, experiences of different kind taught me many invaluable lessons from which I have always learned and adjusted myself accordingly and still I am in the learning mode. I endorse the Socratic belief that there’s no one in this world who is fully learned. It’s a continuous on going process. Talking about my relationships with people, I have always found myself a loner in this regard as most of the people I have met were not suitable or rather I was not suitable for them. I have found relatives too demanding and mean, friends not real except some. I being a simple person have been used by people for their vested interests, but I didn’t hold anyone responsible for that as I was the culprit who made myself available and vulnerable to others for ditching, hitching and betraying me. My simple and straightforward nature has put me in danger a number of times, but the problem is that I can not change my innate nature. Earlier, I had been tormented financially and mentally to the core at times and had fallen in serious trouble, but every time I have risen like a phoenix only due to the blessings of my parents, my fortitude and undying attitude, honesty and willpower and by the grace of God.
Today, I am very happy as I did learn from all my previous mistakes and since the last one and a half decade haven’t faced any serious problems. God has been very kind to me and I feel that it is just because I didn’t surrender and fought during the turbulent times. In adversities, I never gave up, stuck to my principles and morality and never deviated to doing immoral things and today I am reaping benefits of sticking to that principles of mine.
Still now I am very reluctant in building relationships with anyone unless I find some fine qualities in them. I am an ambivert and a no nonsense guy. I can not tolerate people who are hypocrites. I detest people who are morally corrupt, cunning, dishonest, indecently flirtatious, manner less and having bad habits and qualities. May be I may sound a little primitive, arrogant and overcautious in my approach and perception in this regard, but personally I never flourish my relations with such people.Whenever I trust or put faith in someone, I just trust fully. I have never done anything half heartedly in my whole life.
I feel bad at times when in spite of being a simple and helpful person, people fail to appreciate your goodness and instead suspect and misunderstand your nice attitude, but then I take everything in my stride and accept whatever God has in offer for me. I am not a narcissist, love me or hate me, but I am happy with what and how I am.
My world is confined to my small family and a few friends. Sometimes I regret it, but do not let it hamper my spirits because that’s the path I chose for myself.
I will end my post with a small poem written by me.
Zindagi ne kabhi hasaya kabhi rulaya
Zindagi ne kabhi dard diye kabhi marham
Zindagi se phir bhi koi shikva nahi hame
Zindagi ko khuda ki nehmat samjhi hamne
Zindagi se ab toh meri ek hi hai guzarish
Zindagi khatam ho tab khuda ki panaah mil jaaye,
Ae khuda mujhe teri panaah mil jaaye.
