Bangalore to Hyderabad. Review on Yakeen - 2005 - Bollywood

Memory loss and plastic surgery are two concepts relating to medical science that have been used in Hindi cinema over and over again. For those who don’t watch hindi movies, this is how it works.

1) Memory loss (Amnesia): The subject loses all memory mostly due to an accident, with the doctor proclaiming 'Only God can help'. In most cases memory automatically returns when the accident re occurs (If the person lost his memory because a boulder fell on his head, it will return when another boulder falls on his head)

2) Plastic Surgery: Anybody can look like anybody thanks to skillful plastic surgeons in Bollywood. All you need is a photograph of who you want to be and presto the next thing you know you will look like him irrespective of your bone structure, weight, height.

But this I thought was thing of the past. The audience (people like me) today have gotten intelligent. We don’t take bullshit anymore and quality films are being made. Hindi movies even make it to the Oscars.

I was proved wrong, thanks to the movie I saw in the bus which I later realised was in fact a new film called Yakeen. To come up with a movie today, with a story involving both the above-mentioned concepts requires tremendous courage, no insight and a producer with lots of money.

I have been travelling from Bangalore to Hyderabad (and back) quiet often now and I have noticed that they never play good movies. The bad moviemakers and the travels people have some sort of a tie up. It makes sense if you think about it, this is the only way you can get people to watch bad movies. Because when a movie is played in the bus, you have no choice, you either have to watch the movie or you have to watch the movie.

Now coming to the story, the order in which things are unfolded in the movie are supposed to create suspense, I will kill all suspense (and you will thank me) and come to the crux of the story. Priyanka Chopra is this psycho woman who is married to Arjun Rampal and is having an affair with Sudhanshu Pande (if you are wondering ‘Who Sudhanshu?’, he was in a band called Band of Boys).

She then kills Arjun (I told you she is a Psycho). Sudhanshu is upset but still helps in hiding Arjun's body and on their way back they meet with an accident. Now for the incredible turn in events. Sudhanshu loses memory and his face is disfigured, so Priyanka gets a surgeon from London to make him look like Arjun Rampal. If I were Sudhanshu and got up one day looking like Arjun Rampal I would have been very happy, but the guy has lost his memory so he doesn’t remember how he looked like. Priyanka tries to convince him that he is in fact her husband but he is not convinced. By this time I wanted to stop the bus and jump out of the window. (Windows in Volvo buses don’t open).

While I was trying to keep myself from going mad, Sudhanshu (who looks like Arjun) finds out the truth. Priyanka kills two other people who had small roles in the movie.

And then some kind soul in the bus yelled at the bus driver to switch it off. What happens in the end I will never know. I think Priyanka kills herself and Sudhanshu gets another plastic surgeon from America and looks like before. He then regrets it for obvious reasons.

I was saved from seeing the end of this one but what scares me is that, this is not the end, I have more travelling to do, more bad movies to watch. God, have mercy on me.