Adios Goodbye!. Review on Salaam Namaste

Seems this is becoming a habit.

Or maybe a new trend in Bollywood.

Spend loads on the promos and posters and witty one-liners between ''kyon ki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi'' and ''jassi jaise whatever''. Probably get a different director ( is Farhan Akhtar free?) and ask HIM to make the best of all the crappy footage the incompetent freak has shot. I'm almost scared to watch Chocolate cos the movie ''looks'' so different in identity.

I actually thought this movie was another Dil Chahta Hai. Looked fresh, young, vibrant, very correct. Saif is a DUDE. Preity's dimples are in place. But Alas. Short lived. Yuk! Thoo!Couldnt have been more wrong. It's another of those movies that has most of the right ingredients, has a nice location, lots of potential but then goes right ahead and makes a complete hash of itself. Guess Yash Raj will still make money cos every single person who sees the posters is gonna walk in atleast once.

The wonders of living in a foreign country and the humour thereof is myopically restricted to making fun of accents. The predictably named ''Humber'' and ''Nikhil Arora'' runs its due course the first time it's said. Its something that even class IV children do once in a while and get over. Mr.Siddharth Anand gets himself off everytime someone says ''Humber'' over the 2 hour expanse of this film. Even when they probably meant ''Slumber''.

You develop your first headache in the first 20 minutes, with everyone screaming ''Salaam namaste'' in your face, like they all need to remind themselves, the audience and all the surrounding housing complexes around Andheri of the name of the film you're watching. Never was a radio station faced with such a lack of identity. If Preity was hosting a TV show, atleast she could shut up and people could stare at her, on radio not only are her screeches amplified, but her dimples go unnoticed.

Arshad Warsi is subdued, by the looks of it, more by the editor, than by personality.Looks like a whole lot of actual fun scenes have been chopped.He's the best we have.Really. And to chop his face off when they could have shaved off a few ''Humbers'' is quite bizarre. Javed Jaffrey meanwhile, supports the ENTIRE film on his able shoulders. These two are probably the reason i'm even writing this review! brilliant comic timing, his entire look is spot on. Which I doubt Mr.Anand had anything to do with. Probably Javed's own suggestions, script, wardrobe and accent. He might as well hold the camera and learn makeup as well. Mr.Anand could just relax and sip a mocktail.

Interesting subject of live-in relationships, theres a true chance to say something truly different ( I mean for god sakes, we're not even in India, and Balasaheb is way too far and old to do anything) but we lapse into the guy not being ready and marriage being around the bend. and they get married just in time for the baby to not be a &^%$ and have a father. I happens only in India.Phenomenal.

Coupled with some completely useless situations and songs, this film is my vote for the trash can. A pregant woman and her so called pissed off lover launch into a pouty song about ice-cream deprivation in the middle of the night. The celebrity doctor - an eminently missable Abhishek Bacchhan who delievers two kids a.ka. Robin williams by mainly screaming push push from the corridor in decibel levels that would guarantee a miscarriage. Its full of them.

Seems a nice start. But a start that last till the promos. Its a start on TV and finishes way before you buy that ticket to walk into a sad, sad affair.