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35%
2.15 

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Khuda Haafiz, Salaam-e-Ishq!
Jan 30, 2007 11:39 AM 2425 Views

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When they said that'Kal Ho Na Ho' was a Karan Johar movie who ghost directed it while Nikhil Advani just lip-synched his commands, I scoffed. But was I wrong?


If his mentor stumbled charting his way in the unknown territory of infidelity, Advani bites more than he can chew and almost chokes! But what's reall more apalling is the way he has treated the film.


Never do you feel that this is a film directed by the man who gave us'Kal Ho Na Ho'(So is that loud heartbeat reverberating in the background to remind us this fact?)


To its credit, film is able to put all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle together and what's best, it doesn't try too hard doing so. The relation between all the five scenarios(the sixth featuring Sohail Khan and Isha Koppikar doesn't deserve to be considered. More on that later!) is loosely coupled and entirely believable. But the problem is that five is too many and at three hours thirty five minutes, film is unbearably long!


What's the worst thing is that the Priyanka Chopra-Salman Khan(who are supposed to be the lead actors of the film) starrer, what's supposed to be the main track(haunted by Karan Johar), is not only irritating but also extremely banal in both content and treatment. Marred by unwanted suspense('Rahul(or Raoul) kaun hai'), unwanted characters('Amar-Prem') and then unwanted twists('Rahul(or Raoul!) kahaan hai) this unwanted track almost single-handedly gives a devastating blow to the film.


After newcomer Vipasha(it's a'V' not a'B' and not followed by'Basu') in'I See You', we have another female debut. Anjana Sukhani sets the screen on fire each time she appears, can act and perhaps is the only novelty in this naughty-at-forty-cum-infidelity story featuring Anil Kapoor and Juhi Chawla.(Oh ya, I forgot to mention Kapoor, without his trademark moustache. I nearly passed out!)


The taxi driver(obviously with a golden haeart, since he is the hero!) and foreigner track featuring Govinda-Shannon goes a long way(pun intended, Delhi-Agra-Udaipur-Rishikesh-Delhi, whoa, do they actually cover this circuit?) chatting in what is combination of english, hindi and loads of sign language while chasing her Indian bride-searching-NRI boyfriend(hey don't they want a greencard anymore?). With Govinda mouthing some earthy dialogues(faintly reminding you of the wonder that he was once!), this story is able to evoke some whistles and claps. However the screenplay could have been better. I don't actually remember how many times before we have been told to'just close your eyes, take a deep breath(no we are not in Baba Ramdev's class!) and say'I love you'!


But the other two tracks show what a marvel this film would have been had it been handled as well.


First, the lighter side of life. The Akshay Khanaa-Aayesha Takia track featuring a couple engaged and ready to marry has been done quite innovatively and is well supported by witty dialogues, really comic  situations and excellent comic timing of Khanna, who plays the confused guy afraid of getting married. And Aayesha just keeps on going from strength to strength. Though we could have managed better without the'Saiyan' number, this track forms one of the few high points in the movie.


Time for the call of honour. My standing ovation goes to John Abraham and Vidya Balan track. This story seeped in love and laced with tragedy is a beautiful and heart-warming tale. There is just a hint of'Fifty First Dates' but it's completely different from that movie. The best thing perhaps is that this story remains focussed around its theme and its protagonists and hence could be treated so beautifully. Some sequences are truly masterpieces(watch out the one where Ashutosh(John) tries to remind Tehzeeb(Vidya) of their first meeting in a marriage!) and perhaps this is the only track where dialogues touch you.


Though all the actors have done a great job, my picks are John Abraham, Vidya Balan, Juhi Chawla and Akshay Khanna.


A very surprising thing about this film is that it fails to impress even on the technical aspect! Editing is  tacky. Forget the length, even the track changes are mostly incoherent. Advani's penchant for split screens fails to impress.


Cinematographer Piyush Shah does a pretty good work and his use of grays in the John-Vidya track is good.


Screenplay has been done by Suresh Nair, Saurabh Shukla and Advani himself. Both Nair and Shukla(who has written the dialogues also) are known for their comic antics, yet the best they have done is in an emotional story and surprisingly they disappoint big time in the comic tracks!


The music by Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy is strictly ok, though both the title songs are nice, others are just passable. Production design by Priya Raghunath seems to be a little on the lower side(specially the climax set), however there are individual stylists for all the stars!(John Abraham had the smallest team and looking at him in the film, it's understandable too)


Are we missing something? Oh you must be waiting for that'sixth' track. So the bad(or good) news is that it is merely a filler with writers inventing a new mating call(mouthed by Khan)'hurr'! Waste!


This has been a long review about this very long movie. Though its has its moments, the complete package is not a great product. My rating is a low 2/5.


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